Ladies (and gentlemen) it's that time again! Yep, Bachelor Pad is back for the third go 'round. This season, in a surprising twist, the veteran men and women who tried to find love on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette will be competing against/coupling up with/picking on super fans in their search for love and money.
Collaborating with me this week is my (very witty) sister, Staci, a fellow Bachelor and Bachelorette fan. Here's what happened this week on BP3:
We're back at the old Bachelor mansion, greeted by Chris Harrison, who says this season's cast includes the lovers, the villains, the fighters, the good guys, the crazy girls, and the ones you love to hate from seasons past. So, who's who?
Chris, from Emily's season, is still nursing a broken heart but thinks BP3 will fix that right up. Lindzi, the equestrian runner-up in Ben's season, is ready to get back in the saddle. Reid, who proposed to Jillian Harris after being sent home, and Ed, who Jillian Harris did pick, are both ready to mingle in the mansion. Blakely, the VIP cocktail waitress from Ben's season has found her true calling as a waxer and is back on BP3 to win the $250k. Also from Ben's season is Jaclyn, who admits to being "frenemies" with Blakely and will basically cheat, lie and steal to win. Rounding out the first group of introductions is Kalon, who arrived by helicopter to greet Bachelorette Emily last season. He is definitely the "one we love to hate."
After catching up with the veterans, it's time to meet the super fans. Paige knows she'll be star struck and "might pee her pants" (which she says has happened before). Chris is a SWAT officer who loves to watch The Bachelor or Bachelorette after a hard day at work. Donna knows this show is made for her and plans on living in her bikini, and I can't see the men of BP3 being upset by that. David, an MMA fighter, has dreamed of dating many of the girls on the show -- hopefully not all at once (because that would be weird. Wait... no, that's the whole point of the show, isn't it?). Our last super fans -- yes, plural -- are twins Brittany and Erica, who do everything together and will count as one player in the game. Erica admits to being a virgin, while Brittany proudly claims she isn't. They also claim to have watched the show since it first aired, but, at 22, I don't think they were even old enough to watch television.
A few more contestants join the party, including Ryan from DeAnna's season, Sarah from Brad's first season, Rachel from Ben's season, Michael Stagliano from DeAnna's season and winner of BP2, and Erica Rose (most famously) from BP2. We also have Tony the dad from Emily's season, Nick from Ashley's season, and Jamie (the incredibly awkward instructional kisser) from Ben's season. As everyone starts to arrive, the veterans speculate on what the super fans might be like and hope they don't act like crazed teeny boppers. You know, because they're so famous and all.
And the drama begins! Rachel and Jaclyn talk badly about Blakely before she arrives. Erica Rose starts bad-mouthing Kalon, saying she provided fodder to the tabloids about him and is scared to see him. He rolls up in a sleek white convertible, saying he "needs" to win because "helicopter fuel is expensive." I just find it funny that these contestants continue to express their neediness of $250k -- why don't they just go get jobs like the rest of us?
Once everyone has arrived, the shots are poured and the wine is flowing, and Ed strips down to his tighty-whities and dives into the pool. Chris Harrison summons the group to go over the rules and regulations of the show, and Ed, who is completely hammered, belches and shakes his head furiously, trying to get the water out of his ears. Chris then explains that immunity and dates will be up for grabs in the competitions, and the twins will compete as one player (that shouldn't be hard, as they're practically joined at the hip). Ed once again loses focus and jumps into the pool, only to be collected by Chris moments later. The players scramble to pair up for tomorrow's competition.
Erica Rose immediately knows she does not want to be paired with a super fan because "that would be like sleeping with the help -- it would just be inappropriate." Several of the women try and scramble to get Chris as their partner because he's athletic and easy on the eyes, but he ultimately chooses Blakely. Blakely immediately demands that Chris not speak to other girls, which pisses him off. Jaclyn is the last to choose a partner and is stuck with Ed.
The next morning, Ed is extremely hungover but manages to pull himself together by the time Chris Harrison arrives to explain the challenge. The couples will be suspended in the air in giant red hearts, which will be tilted forward until only one couple remains inside. The first couple to fall will automatically get one vote against them in the next elimination, and the winners will be safe and get to go on a romantic date.
After two tilts, Erica Rose and Nick are the first to fall. Over the next few minutes, each couple begins to drop until Brittany and David (both super fans) and Reid and Paige (also a super fan) are left. Reid falls out, and the twins and David win immunity and a date. Everyone in the house (and at home watching) cannot stand the twins, so their win was a major letdown.
The "romantic" date takes place at the Santa Monica Pier, where David, Brittany, and Erica ride carnival rides and discuss the similarities between this date and dates from seasons past. At the end of the night, they decide to pull a "Ben and Courtney" and skinny dip in the ocean. Really classy, guys.
Back at the house, Blakely questions Chris' loyalty to her, while he and Jamie have a little private time. Blakely and Jaclyn barge into their make-out session, and Blakely accuses Jamie of stealing her partner. Chris gets mad and tells Blakely she does not own him, and Blakely sobs in the confessional, saying she's not sure if the money is worth this. I'm gonna go ahead and say no.
It's voting time! Super fan David begins scheming against Erica Rose and Nick because they already have one vote against them, telling the entire house his plan. Erica Rose does not like this one bit and tells David she will make his life miserable. After a great deal of strategizing, super fan Chris and veteran Nick are on the chopping block from the men's side, and, on the women's side, super fan Paige and veteran Erica Rose are in danger. Reid and Paige have been very flirty over the last two days, and, realizing that Paige is likely going home, Reid tries to save her by persuading Kalon to keep Paige and vote out Erica Rose. Kalon, though relatively new, knows exactly how to play this game, and spews lies to everyone he talks to.
In the end, super fans Paige and Chris are sent packing. Both of them are sad to go, and we're left wondering if something could have happened between Paige and Reid.
So BP3 fans, was the premiere everything you expected? Whose side are you on -- the super fans or the veterans? Are you as annoyed by the twins as the rest of the house seems to be? Leave me a comment below!