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Ramadan Reflection Day 8: The Women Who Shape Us

Posted: 07/27/2012 10:55 am

Imam Khalid Latif is blogging his reflections during the month of Ramadan, featured daily on HuffPost Religion. For a complete record of his previous posts, click over to the Islamic Center at New York University or visit his author page, and to follow along with the rest of his reflections, sign up for an author e-mail alert above, visit his Facebook page or follow him on Twitter.

There seems to be a lot of conversation these days on Muslim athletes at this year's Olympics and the tough choice they face in fasting during Ramadan or not. Growing up, I played football and ran track since I was around 12 and the decision to fast while I was practicing or playing never really came up. This wasn't because I was particularly devout or committed to my faith per se. Mostly it was because I saw my sister fasting while she played basketball, so I just did what she did.

Aside from being quick, agile and having an amazing jump shot (she used to have a couple of three-point records for high school basketball in N.J.), my big sister Aliya has a lot of unique qualities that makes her someone that I have always looked up to and have learned a lot from. We have home videos of us playing together in the front yard of our house from when we were younger and my father would call us into the house, speaking to us in Urdu. My sister would respond, using the feminine case since she's a girl, "Main aa rahi hoon," meaning "I am coming," and I would be waddling behind her speaking in the same feminine case saying "Main aa rahi hoon," not knowing that I was talking as a girl would, but not really caring because I just wanted to be like her.

For those who don't know her, here is a sample of Aliya Unplugged

The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, grew up under the care and attention of many different women, and I would argue that played a huge role in his being the person that he was. His father Abdullah passed away before he was born and his primary caregiver was his mother Aminah. Aminah says that during the birth of Muhammad, she felt no pain at all and it was an extremely light experience for her. This carries deep meaning to it, as Muhammad was meant to cause hardship to no one. As such, a process that is so strenuous that it can only be called labor brings no pain to his mother Amina, because he's not meant to cause people pain. Amina is one woman who raises him.

A second woman by the name of Thuwaiybah, who was emancipated by the Prophet's uncle and sent to nurse him upon his birth, along with a third by the name of Halima Saadiyah, also played a role in his growth during his infant and early childhood years. It was custom of the people of Mecca that they would send their children to live with the bedouin tribes, and Halima became entrusted with the task of looking after Muhammad in this manner. A last woman was Um Ayman Barakah. At 16 years of age she became a servant in the household of Abdullah, the Prophet's father, and is arguably the only companion of the Prophet who was with him from time he was born until the time he passed away. All in all, these four women are raising the Prophet at a time when most children are learning about love, trust and other important values. The foundation of his character is influenced by them and plays a role on his being the person who he is when he gets older.

How we treat our women is important because it really is they who will play a direct role in the shaping of those who come after us. We unfortunately don't always take advantage of the impact the women in ours lives can have on us and in the instance where we do, we quite often fail to acknowledge that impact. The positive impact my sister has had on me is something that I can't even begin to describe. She is one of the most passionate, dedicated and caring people I know and I pray that I can one day embody an iota of who she is.

Al, you the best. Thank you for looking after me all of these years and making sure I stayed out of trouble. One of my favorite years in my life was when I started high school because I got to spend so much time with you and get even closer to you. Thank you for coming to watch all of my track meets and for yelling at me every time I talked to a girl you didn't like, which ended up being most every girl. Thank you for introducing me to baked ziti and cherry-flavored italian ice. Thank you for driving my friends around and dropping them off to their houses when none of us could drive. Thank you for being the glue that holds our family together. Thank you for waking up early every morning, going home late every night, and for every hour in between that you have put in to helping those around you and for the work that you have done and continue to do. Thank you for teaching me to not fear my potential. You are not just a model Muslim woman to me, but a model Muslim and a model person. I am so grateful that my child will have an aunt like you. Thank you, my dear sister, for just being you. You really are so special, and I truly do love you.

Check out The Huffington Post's Ramadan liveblog updated daily with spiritual reflections, blog posts, photos, videos, and verses from the Quran. Tell us your Ramadan story.

 

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ILoveTheUSofA
BREAKING NEWS: There is no God.
10:06 AM on 07/30/2012
Imam Latif, on "Ramadan Reflection Day 5," presented the ludicrous idea that Muhammad was never cruel to women or children. Certainly Latif knows better. Certainly Latif knows what happened to the women and children of the Banu Qurayza and the Banu Mustaliq. They were all enslaved, after Muhammad killed all of the men:

http://wikiislam.net/wiki/The_Genocide_of_Banu_Qurayza

http://wikiislam.net/wiki/Banu_Mustaliq

After the plundering of Khaybar, Muhammad allowed the men to live, but took women and children for slaves.

http://wikiislam.net/wiki/The_Root_of_Terrorism:_Terror_Fifty-two

(Instead of clicking on the url, please copy and paste it into your browser.)

The fate of the men, women and children of Jurash in Yemen was just the result of Muhammad's order:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expedition_of_Surad_ibn_Abdullah

In fact, Muhammad's ten-year spree of raiding, plundering and slave-trading caused terrible suffering for thousands of women and children.

Certainly no one in Arabia, during Muhammad's lifetime, caused more suffering for more women and children than Muhammad caused.

Muhammad's remorseless cruelty to women and children, a feature of his mental disorder of pathological narcissism, is still propagated by Islam to do this day.

Muhammad's mental illness is well explained in the online pdf book "Unmasking Muhammad," by Sujit Das - which I recommend very highly:

http://www.faithfreedom.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/Unmasking-Muhammad1.pdf

(Das has published a revision of the book as "Islam Dismantled.")
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Ahmed Ahmad
Atheists UNITE!!
04:22 AM on 07/29/2012
Sahih Bukhari 1:6:301

"Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?" They replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her intelligence."
04:27 AM on 07/30/2012
yes but, no but, it's a disputed hadith (sarc off)
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Atif Ahmed Choudhury
J.D. Candidate, William and Mary College of Law
01:02 AM on 07/29/2012
" and I would be waddling behind her speaking in the same feminine case saying "Main aa rahi hoon," not knowing that I was talking as a girl would, but not really caring because I just wanted to be like her."

Adorable...thank you for putting such a big smile on my face brother Khalid :-)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
see-ellen2001
12:19 PM on 07/28/2012
Such lovely words for your sister.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MarkNS
10:55 PM on 07/27/2012
I work in Afghanistan. I travel through Dubai several times per year. I've also worked in Sudan. I've seen first hand how women are treated in Islamic cultures. It's despicable. They are possessions with virtually no individual rights.
While I'm happy to see the reference you have for your sister, I'd say that's more a reflection of the fact that you grew up in a secular country where women's rights and equality are protected by law.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MarkNS
06:52 AM on 07/28/2012
*reverene
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MarkNS
07:45 AM on 07/28/2012
*reverence
ugh...that word was hard to type...
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cyanmanta
Thinking outside the box is for smart people...
12:49 PM on 07/29/2012
Agreed. Frankly, I'm amazed HP didn't delete this comment under some feeble argument that it is "confrontational." I'm stunned by how little credit secular society receives for all it has done to right the injustices that have come before it, and it would be nice if someone - anyone - would give a little thanks for it.
06:41 PM on 07/27/2012
That is such a beautiful dedication - what an inspiration your sister has been and what an inspiration she sounds like too - masha'Allah and Alhumdulillah! I love how from just before the 3rd minute on, her story telling begins to sound SO much like how you give your talks... the inflection in your intonation, your ups and downs in voice as you speak... I guess you get that from your sister too, subhaanAllah :)

JazakAllah khayr for sharing yet another lovely post with us!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mustbelove
Rumi wannabe
04:21 PM on 07/27/2012
"This carries deep meaning to it, as Muhammad was meant to cause hardship to no one."
The entire article is wonderful, but the sentence above really got me. Thank you. Masha'Allah.

Do you know of any good books about women who lived in the time of the prophet, peace be upon him?

Hope its ok to tweet the above quote on Twitter. It speaks so profoundly to the Islam that belongs to the People of Compassion & Mercy.
12:02 PM on 07/27/2012
I legit believe I cried!