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Iman Hariri-Kia

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Think Before You Stereotype

Posted: 05/10/2012 9:21 am

Shortly after the Iraq War started, a classmate came up to me on the playground and shouted, "Pick a side, terrorist." I had no idea what she meant at the time, but later learned that her father was currently serving in the American military in Iraq and she assumed that was where I was from. She was angry and heartbroken by her father's departure. Her words cut, but I never told anybody. I was only seven years old.

I grew up in a Persian household in Manhattan. Both my parents are Iranian and they raised me to take pride in my heritage. I was lucky enough to be part of a community of Iranian-Americans that taught me how incredible it was to be part of a culture with such a rich history, so full of life.

But after 9/11, I grew confused. 'Why did so many people look down on me?' I wondered. At first, I assumed it was just kids being naïve and cruel, but as I got older I started noticing similar but more subtle attitudes in adults as well. Sometimes it was a look of fear, other times an ignorant question. After war was declared in Iraq, people began asking my father why Islam was so violent. This blanket statement inaccurately stereotyped an entire religion -- never mind that my father isn't even Muslim.

I suffered the hurt of words, but many more experience even worse ramifications for other ignorance. In January 2009, a store clerk named Mohammed Al Hadi was murdered in Memphis. Later that day, another Middle Eastern store clerk was murdered nearby. These tragic deaths followed the murder of a Middle Eastern store clerk that took place in Memphis on New Year's Day. Following the murder, the store was set on fire by activists boycotting all Arab owned businesses.

During the cold war, anxiety about foreign people was mostly kept underground. As suburban culture emerged, the media created a picture of the ideal homogeneous environment: A white, middle-class family with a father that provides, a mother that takes care of the house and kids, and children that make wise cracks while still being moral. All the fear of "the other" produced a culture of resistance to all things that were perceived of as a strange of different. Anyone with a Russian or Cuban accent risked being ostracized and maligned by those who associated him or her with the enemy. Today, we see a similar situation with the Middle East. Fear has once again become hatred. Some American citizens believe that 9/11 confirmed that all Middle Easterners are dangerous and are bound to bring harm to America. Though they may be more subtle about it now than they were in years past, the sense of danger is still very much alive in the hearts of many Americans.

I attempted to bring these tensions to the surface. I stood on the corner of 86th and Lexington and asked 50 strangers one word they associated with the term "Middle East." Many people attempted to be politically correct, giving me answers such as "peace" or "freedom." However, one in five people said "war," and one in 10 replied "terrorist." I was shocked to see how honest people are when they know they will remain anonymous, how blunt they are when they are in a rush and how little they value a teenager's serious question. They assumed it was for a class report, when in fact, it is a reflection on my very life.

There are currently about 950,000 Middle Eastern American citizens living in this country. Their children don't deserve to be treated as enemies of a war they never even fought in. They should be treated with the same integrity and respect as any other American.

There is hope. This fall, TLC introduced a new show called "All-American Muslim." Although the show has met opposition for using 'propaganda to hide the radical intent of Muslims', award-winning filmmaker and third-generation Sikh American calls it a "daring project of depicting Muslim families as real people." Perhaps America needs more shows like this in order to make citizens more comfortable with the idea of peacefully coexisting with Middle Easterners.

So do a young proud American a favor: The next time you think about Middle Easterners, think of the amazing food or charitable personalities, not violence and brutality. Think of my grandmother reading Persian poetry and telling me stories of her childhood. Think of the children growing up in Middle Eastern homes in America right now, people that will hopefully become avid members of our community. Think of me.

 
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09:26 PM on 05/14/2012
Very well written and though provoking. On the answers of "War" you received, don't be too harsh. This country has been fighting wars in the Middle East for a decade. If you asked a similar question about Europe in 1944 I think that war would have been the predominant answer also. As to my answer I can't say it wouldn't have been war, but you have made me think. For that Iman, I thank you.
06:59 PM on 05/14/2012
IMAN IS THE COOLEST BEST WRITER EVER!
omg she sings too!!!
http://iman.bandcamp.com/

what a beauty
09:25 AM on 05/11/2012
the fact is incidents against people thought of as arab or muslim since 9/11 are few and far between and very rare. that is the fact.
06:25 PM on 05/11/2012
the fact is incidents against people thought of as Arab or Muslim since 9/11 are few and far between and very rare. that is the fact.

You say "fact"- I am curious- what are you basing this on? Is there data to back up your claim? Is there some published research or complied information you are drawing this conclusion from- or is this "fact” your opinion?
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iLdoRight
Encouraging The Rightest Rightness
06:43 AM on 05/11/2012
If you are good at it , Yea, but I'm just a two finger hunt and peck typing kind of person, I took it in school and got pretty good at it but never kept up the practice, just kidding. Now to be serious,

1 Samuel 16:7, "Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart"

Acts 10:34,35, "I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him"

Matthew 18:6, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea"

"For every tree is known by his own fruit. For of thorns" ? Luke6:44

If one thinks on these thought and tires to determine how we as individuals should be as influences among our fellow humans, we can each ask our own self, "If life is like a factory and each person is a product in-the-making and I have the opportunity to help each one be the best that they can be, do I want to put some damaging "dings" on them or do I want to nudge each one along in a little better condition?"
10:32 PM on 05/10/2012
I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!
10:32 PM on 05/10/2012
IMAN IS INSPIRATIONAL.
01:55 PM on 05/10/2012
Thank you for this article. I have also been in your position, being an american born Iranian with non-muslim Iranian born parents. I remember from a young age being called a terrorist, even before 9/11. When I was in grade school, I would try to hide my heritage when asked, "what are you?" to avoid any questions or teasing. When I look back on it now, I sometimes feel ashamed that I let myself be bullied into hiding my heritage but just like my teasing peers, I didn't know any better. After 9/11, it became worse but I finally began to stand my ground. I stopped letting people stereotype me as a muslim or arab, as I am neither. It is an extremely unfortunate situation but I have accepted that it has more to do with being misinformed than anything else. I am saddened by how little is known about Iranian culture and history. I have realized that most people are just curious.
01:26 PM on 05/10/2012
Keep your family traditions and be proud of your heritage as I am of my Irish'ness. There will always be ignorance in the world. But I don't consider myself an Irish-American. I believe the words of a former American President Teddy Roosevelt: " There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all... The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English-Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian-Americans or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality, than with the other citizens of the American Republic... There is no such thing as a hyphenated American who is a good American. The only man who is a good American is the man who is an American and nothing else."
01:11 PM on 05/10/2012
Not all Muslims are terrorists but most terrorists, these days, are muslim. That fact is not lost on the 20+ muslims I work with on a daily basis and with whom I get along perfectly. If they can admit it, so can we, without resorting to stereotyping an entire people. Bias can be based on lack of knowledge, fear or from a negative personal experience. To deny experience and make yourself vulnerable out of some misplaced quest to be perceived as noble and enlightened is dangerous. To paint everyone with the same brush is at least unproductive and at worse, equally dangerous.
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SeptimusDSX
Always question the obvious.
12:36 PM on 05/10/2012
Brave of you friend, but it will take quite a bit more to effect a change in attitudes. The problem is not limited to social prejudice, but all forms of prejudice. The real problem is a lack of critical thinking accompanied by laziness. Why bother to think when the TV does it for you?
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Blastrocat
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10:11 AM on 05/10/2012
Excellent article. It made me wonder how I would have responded to the question... probably would have said "oil" since it seems to be our primary focus in that area.
10:09 AM on 05/10/2012
Thank you for an important message. I am appalled at the ignorance in this country--and it is not just towards those of Middle Eastern descent. The fact that over 100 years after the Civil War there are still people who would think to call the President of the United States "n****ger" says this country has a long way to go. 9/11 was a little over 10 years ago so I am not surprised that the ignorance extends to Iranians and Iraqis. Persia does indeed have a rich culture and thank you for your attempt to enlighten the ignorant.