"Mom egot-ed today (commented on my weight, job, relationship and finances)."
"My daughter said the holes in my jeans make me look scruffy and I’m confused because I don’t remember giving birth to my mother"
"'I'll see you later today' I whisper, as I pack a sandwich in my kid's lunchbox."
“Call me Julia Roberts cause I’M RUNNING,” a social media user said of the groom’s infantile behavior in the viral video.
WHAT'S HAPPENING
"'Wow now that I know it was you and not santa who was responsible for all those gifts over the years I’d like to take a moment to thank you and apologize for the misplaced gratitude.' - no kid ever"
The EU has already called out the platform formerly known as Twitter as the worst place online for fake news.
"I used the old 'I gave birth to you' on my daughter, she said 'That was one time.'"
“I guess now Clarissa can Explain AARP," the actor quipped.
I Received Death Threats After Elon Musk Put A Target On My Back. Here's The Truth Of What Happened.
"With liberal usage of the N-word and homophobic slurs, they said that I, along with my family, should be hanged for treason."
"Nothing puts me in the spirit quite like a failed key change at a high school holiday concert."