The voice on the other end of the phone couldn't have been more enthusiastic. "Hi grandma!" said a late teen-early 20-ish voice. It definitely wasn't one of my grandsons, the oldest of whom is seven.
Newspaper columnist and author of book Inga Tells All. Lives in San Diego with husband Olof and granddog Lily
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
The voice on the other end of the phone couldn't have been more enthusiastic. "Hi grandma!" said a late teen-early 20-ish voice.
It definitely wasn't one of my grandsons, the oldest of whom is seven.
"I'm sorry," I said politely. "But I think you have the wrong number." I was about to hang up when he quickly interjected, "I knew you wouldn't recognize my voice. I'm sick. In fact that's why I'm calling." He coughs for effect.
And in a flash I knew: grandma scam! While it would have been tempting to just hang up, this suddenly seemed a lot more interesting than paying the property tax bill online which I'd been doing at the time.
Advertisement
"So which grandson are you?" I say, deciding to play along.
"Geesh, grandma, you don't know?"
"Timmy?" I say.
"Yes, Timmy," he replies. "Here's the problem. I went to Mexico for the weekend with some friends and got really sick. And now they won't let me out of the hospital if I don't pay the bill in cash. Mom and Dad didn't know I was going and they would just kill me. Pause) You've always been my favorite grandma."
Woo-hoo! This script was right out of the AARP Senior Scam Playbook. Now I was intrigued.
"So how much do you need?" I said.
"$2,000," says my fake grandson Timmy. "I know it's a lot of money but I promise I'll pay you back." Another pause, and a voice of contrition. "I've learned my lesson."
"Are you sure they won't take your medical insurance?" I inquire.
Timmy starts to sound a tad annoyed. "I already asked. Cash or nothing." He decides to up the ante. "My friends are leaving this afternoon to drive back so if I can't get out, they'll leave me behind." Upping the ante some more: "I've heard they put people in jail who can't pay their bills down here." Escalating to Defcon3: "I'm really scared."
"Don't worry, sweetie, "I say in my best faux-caring grandma voice. "Just tell me how I get the money to you"
Advertisement
If one could hear a happy dance across optical fiber, this would have been it. "Can you wire it to me via Western Union?" he gushes, that rasp in his voice temporarily gone. "Just go to WesternUnion.com. It's really easy. Have you got something to write with?" (Pause) "You really are the best grandma ever."
Oops! The property tax line is about to time me out. Don't want to have to start all over again. As much fun as this has been, it's time to wrap up TimmyGate.
"You know, Timmy," I say, "You've never been my favorite grandson. In fact, I've never really liked you at all." And I hung up.
Burning questions consumed me for the rest of the day after this phone call. The first being: how does anyone actually fall for this scam? There were dozens of specific questions I could have asked him that would have exposed him as a fake. I've read that the truly artful grandma scammers have done a little research, sometimes found out the names of the actual grandchildren, maybe even their birthdays, or their parents' names. Maybe the family pet.
But this little dweeb hadn't even bothered and was hoping to deflect questions with aspersions on grandma's love for him. Get HER to come up with the right grandchild name. I have to say that as a grandma scammer, he wasn't very good. My one shot at grandma scamdom and I get an amateur.
Advertisement
Online research on the subject later in the day suggested that the reason the grandma scam works is that grandparents are desperate to hear from their deadbeat grandkids, regardless of the excuse. Saying "I love you" is apparently the closer.
But my other burning question about "Timmy" was: how did he get my number? Is AARP selling us out? Is there a list of grandmas you can buy on the internet at grammy-scam.com? Or do they just cold call until they get a woman who sounds old? (I DO NOT SOUND OLD.)
I would have loved to have asked him before I hung up, "So Timmy, I'll actually wire you $50 if you tell me how you got my number." But he would never have told me. And I would never have sent the $50 anyway.
Earlier on Huff/Post50:
10 Tips From The Better Business Bureau To Avoid Online Dating Scams
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.