I Eat Everything I Want and I'm Thin

I will never forget watching Madonna on Oprah years ago. Madonna tells Oprah that she eats anything she wants. So Oprah asked Madonna what she ate that day. I'm assuming the interview took place in the morning and Madonna said,

"A half a bagel with butter."

Oprah said, "Real butter?"

Madonna said, "Absolutely."

Then Oprah thought about it for a minute and said, "I guess I could eat anything I wanted too if all I wanted was a half a bagel with butter."

It was the strangest exchange between two of the most successful women on the planet. I imagined Warren Buffet and Bill Gates having that conversation.

The truth is that if Madonna overate consistently, she would gain weight. We can see by her body that she doesn't. We also know that she works out like a maniac. So how does Madonna do what Oprah wishes she could?

I don't know Madonna personally but I am pretty sure it has to do with discipline, focus, drive, genetics and hard work. From what I can tell, she doesn't let up on any of it. Oprah, on the other hand, is still going on crazy diets looking for the answer.

One of my clients, who sees me for issues unrelated to weight, is a size 0 and in perfect physical shape. She is small so size 0 on her looks great and healthy, not too thin. She told me the other day that one of her neighbors brought her some muffins from Marie Callanders. She said that first of all she doesn't eat muffins and secondly, she couldn't believe the size of them. One 10 oz. muffin is 1,000 calories. If you ask her she would tell you that she eats anything she wants. When you look closer you see she wants low calorie, healthy food because that is what makes her feel and look good.

So when Madonna and Sarah Jessica Parker tell us that they eat anything they want, they aren't lying. I'm sure they really do and I'm also sure that if we added up their average daily calories vs. their average daily calorie output, we'd see that they aren't taking in that much. It's all they want and need but to some of us, it would be a diet.

When we hear someone say, I eat anything I want and stay thin; we picture someone stuffing themselves all the time. We see someone eating high fat, high calorie foods in large quantities everyday. That is not what they mean. They mean they have learned to want what makes them thin and healthy. Perhaps they have learned to eat the high calorie/high fat foods in moderation and can incorporate them into their diets. Either that, or like my "naturally thin" client, they just don't eat those foods.

So, if one of your excuses for not losing weight is genetics, and you think others are so blessed that they are just naturally thin, then you can give it up now. They have learned to want what makes them thin, happy and healthy. You can too.

If you'd like to participate in the research for Irene's new book about the process of weight loss, please visit http://www.eatingdisordertherapist.com/ and take the survey.

Comments

[NoSillyName]

I was able to eat "all I wanted", always had a "healthy" (i.e., large) appetite and stayed slim (105-115) throughout my adult life until menopause, which happened in my late 30s due to ovarian failure ten years post-hysterectomy. I have never been the same. I am 99% vegetarian, avoid sugar, HFCS, hydrogenated oils, simple carb grain products, etc. So I'm eating much more healthfully than ever, my appetite has diminished, yet I can't get the 30 lbs.I've gain to ABANDON ME SATAN!!

To tell the truth, I'm not as active as I used to be; I suffer from FM & CFS, but I can't believe I'm taking in enough calories to maintain this weight. I know about Leptin & Ghrelin and their actions associated with sleep/insomnia and wonder if my sleep disorder is playing a larger role than I realize.

I cannot accept that this is the body I will have for the remainder of my life. How many times have I read or heard "First, you must accept and love your body the way it is." HA! That's much easier said than done.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Anybody here in a similar situation?

[Idytme]

I know most women have a very hard time losing weight after menopause, but I just want to give you another possible hormone interference besides estrogen. An expert on thyroidism in dogs has found that a dog can have a normal thyroid test but a low functioning thyroid. (Dr. Jean Dodds if you want to look up her papers). I know several women who had a hard time with their weight for years, eating very little, before a thyroid test showed up low.
One natural boost for your thyroid is coconut oil. Google "coconut oil and thyroid" The oil helps your liver convert thyroid hormone, and many people have lost weight by adding 1 T of it to their diet daily. The oil is *very good for you*, just google again but with "health benefits". It tastes great and we buy organic. Give it a try for a month and see what happens, if you do have good results, talk to your doctor about tests.

[avicenna]

Leptin and other neuroendocrine hormones do function on a cyclical manner - however, your early menopause as a result of ovarian failure and hysterectomy disrupted the cyclic regulation and feedback that guided the secretion of hormones. The primary concern is bone loss - your early menopause puts you at very high risk of losing bone mass - and it sounds like you have lost lean body mass which acts as buttress for your bones. This is the primary reason for your weight gain - the dysregulation of steroidal hormones (or the lack of) would atrophy your muscle and bone mass - which demand 75% more energy to maintain (ie. your basal metabolic rate). While checking out your thyroid - I would also assess your adrenal output. I would bet your CFS is due to adrenal insufficiency - and the lack of other adrenal hormones (like testosterone) would make it difficult to build or maintain muscle. To protect against osteoporosis, weight bearing exercise is especially important for menopausal women. It doesn't sound like you have received adequate medical care with a competent endocrinologist specialized in women's health - I hope you are able to get better preventative care.

[NoSillyName]

Idytme & avicenna, thanks for your replies.

My thyroid tests "low normal" and so far I haven't been able to get a doctor to prescribe it because it is "normal. I have been interested in it for the FM/CFS because I've known a couple of others with the condition who said it helped with their fatigue. I'm sure it would help with the weight as well. I have been taking tyrosine because I've read that it helps the thyroid.

I have coconut oil (yum!) but I've read that it helps more after weight loss to prevent it return. Perhaps I'll start using if more frequently.

I do have osteopenia. I'm taking a bone supplement, vit D3, infrequent of natural progesterone cream (Pro-Gest). I have free weights and use them, but not often enough. I used to be quite muscular, not like a body builder, but in great shape.

I take a variety of supplements for various reasons, but can't list them all now.

I heard about dysregulation of the HPA Axis as a cause of CFS a few years ago when I lived in a city and attended informational group meeting for FM and for CFS (they were still considered separate conditions then; they are now viewed as the same condition with the same 35 genes malfunctioning as a trigger.)

[JScott]

But let;s forget the part the food industry plays all of this as by the quote from the post: 'brought her some muffins from Marie Callanders. She said that first of all she doesn't eat muffins and secondly, she couldn't believe the size of them. One 10 oz. muffin is 1,000 calories.'
And the constant advertising of food that is heavily meat and dairy and so called 'diet foods' that add tons of salt and sugar (or HFCS) when they take out the fat. And there have been comments from folks in other countries that come to the US and are apalled and the huge portions of food that are served. And you notice since they added HFCS instead of sugar to sodas, self serve drink bars have pretty much become the norm.

[gfk]

Thank you for this Irene. I have obesity in my family but I don't use it as an excuse to be fat. If I eat anything I want I would be fat though. It must be nice to be able to eat what you want and have it be the right amount to be fit and healthy. I'm still learning this.

[loril]

It looks like we are all different and different things work for us. That would make sense, considering the amazing diversity in the human population and the amazing complexity of the human body.

I, for one, can barely tolerate meat. If I eat more than just a tiny serving I feel like it stays in my system for days. So the "all protein, all the time" diet does not help me feel better. (Although, I imagine I would stay skinny on it, as I would only want very small portions.)

I had to unlearn my sweet-tooth ways. I still love baked goods and bread. I have just has to use constant self discipline to eat far less of them. My palate, however, has definitely changed. I can feel satisfied with much smaller portions when it comes to desserts. I have also come to appreciate and savor the wonderful flavors of fresh fruits, veggies and fresh herbs and spices.

For me, it is a combination of fairly lucky genetics, vanity and constant evaluation of what I choose to eat. I prioritize my "cheats" in order to maintain a weight that makes me feel healthy and look fairly good.

My downfall is exercise. I hate working out. I wish I could "learn" to make exercise work for me...but I have 40 some years of bad habits in this area to overcome.

[Idytme]

I think once you eat healthy for a while, junk food just makes you feel rotten, and you don't crave foods that make you feel rotten. When I was a kid, I loved potato chips, but now they feel empty when I eat them, taste like chemicals and give me a stomach ache. Fast food does that to me as well, KFC makes me so ill, I haven't eaten it in over ten years.
I also feel like crap when I eat too much. There is nothing great about feeling full, having your pants feel too tight and all the rest. And when your stomach "shrinks" it doesn't take as much food to make you feel full - so you naturally want to eat less.
Also eating the right foods, like eating meat protein which sends a chemical directly to your brain that it is getting food - as opposed to carbs that take 45 minutes to tell your brain that food has arrived, allows you to get fuller faster.
I also eat all that I want and I eat less than 1500 calories a day. When I pig out, I do it on meat and sauces and I never, ever feel guilty about it. If I ever go on an empty calorie day, I eat twice as many calories and always feel guilty.

[AlButerol]

The myth you are trying to propagate revolves around the word "learned". Nobody "learned" to eat anything. People who prefer eating healthy food do so because of a genetic disposition. I have a colleague who actually starts to salivate when you mention broccoli or cauliflower in the same way an average person reacts when you talk about hamburgers or ice cream. He was blessed by the God of DNA with healthy proclivities. I'm sure that people like Madonna have similar genetically-based attitudes towards food. So don't lob the hammer of guilt at Oprah or me or the average person on this planet as if we are all simply refusing to learn to do what's right. It's genetics baby, not learned behavior. You can't unlearn to want what you want. We don't need guilt on top of our other problems..

[Idytme]

I come from a family that tends toward the larger side. I am positive this is because we are all more insulin sensitive and we tend towards hypoglycemia. I am the most sensitive of all and have fainted because of low blood sugar.
Here is the difference, because I am so sensitive, I know that if I eat a high carb meal (even just eating one apple with no protein) I will go into a sugar crash in a few hours. So I have learned not to eat carbs, even before low carb eating was in. The biggest relief for me was studying hunter gatherer populations and understanding that humans do not need breads and grains at all.
However my family doesn't faint after a high carb meal, they just get moderately low blood sugar and then to eat again two hours later. When they, and my husband, got onto a low carb eating routine, they all craved less food because they didn't get sugar lows anymore. My husband went from having a total sweet tooth to wanting meat in the afternoon.
So yes, we are genetically crafted to eat a lot of carbs, but awareness of genetics, and shifting eating once understanding it made us change our eating and also eat and want less.

[Checquoline]

Lack of vitamin D causes insulin resistance.

[Sir681]

Nonsense! People can learn to like any kind of food, so don't blame the preference to eat healthily on genetics, else it would not be a preference.

Now, have you ever had a chance to compare the portion sizes we have here with anywhere else? You can hardly find any thing small to eat anywhere. I am a grown man and I eat a Whopper Jr meal and am satisfied. Our lives here centers around food, and lots of it, way too much.

The other thing is that a lot of places here are so pedestrian-unfriendly that one can hardly and safely walk anywhere. To go half a mile, you have to drive.

Smaller portions, walk more, take you time to eat, be satisfied with less. Those things can be learned.

[MrWampler]

Double Nonsense!

My example is always Coca-Cola. This drink is the #1 selling beverage in the world. It's "refreshing." Yet, have you ever really *tasted* Coca-Cola - like you would taste a wine. Take the time to actually connect to its flavor. Tastes awful, doesn't it? It's chemically, acidic, bitter and it makes you belch. Not one natural ingredient in it. How is this the best-selling beverage again?

Because we've learned to like it. And one can unlearn it too.

[Chrisallalone]

Hm, when my husband went from loving large bowls of ice cream to loving large plates of broccoli and lost 40+ pounds, I guess I did wonder if he had been replaced or mutated or what have you. Now that I read that food preferences are all in your genes, I'm really worried, because he's gotta be a pod person or something now. Unless there's some other explanation.