Well, lately it is in the news because famous people, and/or their family members, have chosen to end their own lives. In the last few weeks we have lost: Alexander (Lee) McQueen, Andrew Koenig and now Michael Blosil (Marie Osmond's son). It is so tragic and so painful for those who are left behind.
My brother took his own life a year and a half ago on Thanksgiving weekend. Shot himself with a gun that his best friend had tried to take away. My brother threatened to call the police and tell them that his friend had stolen the gun. Not wanting to get in legal trouble, my brother's friend returned the gun. That same friend is the one who found his body.
In the case of my brother, Lee McQueen, Michael Blosil and Andrew Koenig, we who loved them are not completely surprised by how they chose to end things. Sad, devastated, maybe even guilty, but not surprised. They were all dealing with depression. Many people dealing with depression are also self medicating so let's add substance use/abuse to the mix as well. My brother was an alcoholic. He had tried to get sober, and had limited success, but it ultimately took him down.
Depression is a horrible illness that we still, even with all our clinical advancements, don't really have a handle on. Yes we have new antidepressants that are better than the old ones, but they still aren't very good. While some may help some people, there are many for whom they do nothing. For the people that are helped by the antidepressants, they are not without side effects. The medications can take one's sex drive, ability to feel sexual pleasure, excitement and joy with them.
Depression doesn't just have one cause, which is why it is so difficult to treat. Most of us will feel depressed in our lives. It is normal under certain circumstances. When you lose someone you love, your job, your home, your health, etc...it is normal to feel depressed. We call this situational depression. For people like my brother, and others, they feel depressed most of the time just because. That is not "normal" and makes life extremely difficult to endure.
To the loved ones of Michael, Andrew, and Lee I want to say I am so sorry for your loss and I understand. Death is so final. We wish, for just a moment, we could turn back the clock and do something to make the ending different, but we can't. We are suicide survivors now. I think our loved ones were life survivors for the time they were here. We will never really know how much pain they were in but we all hope they are in a better and more peaceful place now.
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Irene Rubaum-Keller: Parentless Parents: The Challenge of Asking for Help
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I have tried hating her for what she did, and that worked for a few months -- but the bottom line is -- I want my smart, savvy sister back. I feel so terribly alone without her, especially since my parents deaths. It hurts so much.
But thank you for responding so caringly..
It leaves everyone involved with a certain sense of self-guilt and failure.
Even in my wildest nightmare I would never have imagined that my gorgeous 20 year-old son would take his own life.
If we'd bring suicide out of the conversati
lost a loved one to suicide. I agree with you that
many are creative individual
very sensitive and intelligen
great gifts to offer. The culture is often too rigid
and unforgivin
pain is too much I hope they get counseling and
reach out for the love around them.
A few months later, when my fiance's uncle killed himself, no one came rushing out. No funeral was held. No laughter. No stories. Conversati
While my grandmothe
One thing that I found valuable in the early days following these deaths was to acknowledg
Doing so allowed me to see that whatever the future brings (including my own death) cannot possibly be as bad as what transpired before. Recognizin
Time doesn't heal all wounds. They will always be with us, the living survivors. But days still contain joys that I am grateful to be able to savor. Life is precious, finite, full of pain and grief, intolerabl
Again, thanks for writing this.
A friend of mine's father killed himself, and now a decade later she still struggles with the fall out.
It is a sad thing when the cloud of depression prevents people from seeing the love that is available to them.
How a parent survive's a child's suicide, I can't even begin to imagine.
Please keep writing. You have a gift for it.
Your post reminded me of a favorite poem by Emily Dickinson.
We grow accustomed to the Dark –
When Light is put away –
As when the Neighbor holds the Lamp
To witness her Goodbye –
A Moment – We uncertain step
For newness of the night –
Then – fit our Vision to the Dark –
And meet the Road - erect –
And so of larger – Darknesses –
Those Evenings of the Brain –
When not a Moon disclose a sign –
Or Star – come out – within –
The Bravest – grope a little –
And sometimes hit a Tree
Directly in the Forehead –
But as they learn to see –
Either the Darkness alters –
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight –
And life steps almost straight.
Beautiful.