Huffpost Comedy
THE BLOG

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Irene Rubaum-Keller Headshot

Top Ten Teen Comments of 2010

Posted: Updated:

My son is now 13. Sometimes he seems 30 and sometimes 3, which I hear is normal. I also hear our relationship is normal in that he currently lives to diss me. Here are the top ten teen disses of 2010. We call it "Teen Chat".

1) "Jack, I think I'm having a mid-life crisis."
"Oh Mom, you're way too old to have a mid-life crisis."

2) After seeing a copy of my birth certificate, "Mom there is a problem with your birth certificate. It says A.D. That can't be right."
3) "Jack, we should get our Halloween decorations out." "Oh, Mom, we don't need all of that. Why don't you just go stand outside."
4) Driving back from Palm Desert we saw these huge dinosaur statues by the freeway. "Wow, Mom, that must really bring back memories."
5) "Mom, I think I know what happened to Tunguska." (The region in Siberia where all the trees fell over in a strange pattern.) "What?" "You must have been nearby and jumped up and down a few times."
6) "Mom, I don't think you could sink. Ever."
7) "Jack, Mary just told me the headshots I took of her were the best she'd had in thirty years!" "Wow, I guess she hadn't had photos taken in all that time."
8) "Jack, you need to be getting more sleep. You have bags under your eyes." "Oh yeah, well, you have bags under your chin."
9) "Dad, where is your wallet?" "It's in that bag." Jack comes over and points at me, "This one?"
10) "Mom, don't even bother knocking at my door. You will get an auto-response."

I post these as they arise on my Facebook page. My friends look forward to my "Teen Chat" updates. Recently one of my friends asked Jack about his comments and he told her he doesn't really mean them.

Do you have some favorite teen comments to share? Let us know and all my best to my fellow parents of teens. Here is to an even better 2011! Happy New Year!!!!