Want To Lose Weight? Stop Beating Yourself Up

03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

So it's a new year, a new decade and you have decided to change a few things. That's fabulous! Now can you do that without getting down on yourself for the way things are? If you can, you are in the minority. If you can't, you might end up not changing a thing.

Let's take "Michelle" (not her real name) for example. Michelle is a client of mine who has gained and lost vast amounts of weight during her 58 years on the planet. She has been up and down over 100 lbs. several times. Michelle had finally been successful at losing 150 pounds and maintaining that loss for several years. She did this by writing down everything she ate, counting calories and exercising. Very hard work but well worth the effort. Michelle loved being thin and looking great. She went shopping, dancing, dated and was out there having a great time.

Then, someone broke her heart. Yes, her thin heart. Even though she was looking her absolute best, someone she really liked rejected her. This was devastating to Michelle. She had spent much of her life as the fat girl and expected rejection. But to be rejected when she was looking her best was not something she was equipped to handle emotionally. So she began using the only trusty coping skill she had when things were at their worst. Eating. She put on 50 pounds before she was ready and willing to stop and start reversing the trend.

During her weight gain phase, Michelle was very mean to herself. She would say things like, "You fat slob. If you think men didn't like you thin, what will they think now." "You have gained back 40 pounds. How could you let that happen? What's wrong with you?" "You will never date again ..." Michelle was very adept at beating herself up as she had done so her entire life.

If you want to change your weight, or any bad habit, beating yourself up is never a good option. To change we need energy. We need to feel hopeful, positive and powerful. If you are busy using that energy to hurt yourself you are swimming upstream.

Try, instead, to start right now anew. This day, this moment, is your first and you can change anything you like right now! Change your self beating by being present now and catching yourself next time you start those thoughts. STOP them and redirect your thoughts to what you are doing right now to make things better. Try it today and see what happens.

If you'd like to make contact with Irene, you can find her here.