As the 4th of July holiday weekend comes to a close, I reflect on the independence that's afforded to me as a citizen of this country. This type of independence is not only to exercise my faith freely, but also my freedom to choose my path to a greater emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
For the last six months, I've been trying to search for the measure of success. I started my career working for a major media company where leaders modeled working long hours and stress is quite the norm. As a Type A millennial, I ran the race in full force, which resulted in promotions, pay raises, and recognitions from top leaders. Who wouldn't want these? Those results fueled me to run harder and stay in the course.
In Newton's Third Law of Motion, he stated, "what goes up must come down." Well, down went everything that made me human. Work became priority because there was no way that I would show any kind of weakness at work. My usual sleeping pattern of 7-8 hours dwindled down to 5-6 hours. For family and friends who know me well, sleep is very important to me and I have been known to fall asleep anywhere. All through college, I took naps in order to recuperate from my afternoon and evening classes. This habit followed me through my first few years in the workplace, and I would nap on my lunch break in my car. Those sleeping habits quickly were the first ones to suffer as soon as my career took off.
In my effort to lower my stress as the doctor and my mom nurse prescribed, I got hooked on yoga. I immersed myself in everything that yoga can provide. Meditation became a daily ritual that included prayer-based meditation, Deepak Chopra and Oprah's 21-Day Meditation Challenge, and Sound Baths. These rituals changed the way I dealt with stress and learned how to center myself, especially living in New York City.
Even though I found my rhythm at work even in the lack of sleep I was getting and putting more emphasis in my yoga practice, something was still not adding up for me. The stress level at work compounded in a way I could no longer sustain. My measure of success was no longer adding up to what I thought I was modeling after. My wake up call was a panic attack that occurred shortly after wrapping up a weeklong event. I knew that moment of inability to breathe that I was no longer being true to myself. No amount of money, success, or status was helping me get to my center because of the lack of care for myself.
In this journey of what success means, it's the courage to make independent choices for what is right in your life. The influence of our culture, media, and even our loved ones can easily dictate what choices look good for our life. Only our individual selves can truly depict what is the true measure of success.