In a society where suffering and negative events are recognized everywhere around us, feeling and being well is a challenge. The challenge is not about feeling bad, recognizing pain or feeling ill but truly feeling well.
Think back to your childhood. Whenever you hurt yourself, when you felt sick or someone else caused you pain, you most likely received that little extra attention from your parents. They held you. They gave you comfort and made you feel safe and this is important because only in a safe environment can we learn to develop our understanding of what and how we feel and experience life. Unfortunately there is also another side to the story.
Whenever things were okay, or even great, however, that specific attention often was not present. When life appears normal, we go ahead with our daily routine. No extra hugs, words of encouragement or even love because we are doing fine. Life gets in the way of showing the same affection as when we don't feel well.
If we look at life from a holistic approach, we understand that we are all connected through energy. Each molecule vibrates and translates that into a specific frequency which is measured in Herz (Hz). Everything we send out energetically influences the people around us. Because of this knowing, subconsciously we recognize the desire of feeling connected and cared for. It is a big part of our very core desire. It secures our survival.
Now, from a neuroscience aspect, you have to understand that your brain has a predisposition to picking up on everything negative way faster than the positive things. What that means in more detail is that it detects negative events and emotions faster due to your protective system that is instilled within to keeps you safe. It throws the red flag faster than with anything positive you may experience.
At a very young age, we train our brain that when we experience something negative or painful, the consequence is something positive as, for example, the attention of a loved one or a community coming together. The more we live through this as a child into adulthood, the deeper it is imprinted into our brain. It fills the desire of our inner core of experiencing being cared for.
In a world where we are always on the run, we only seem to stop for a moment when we don't feel well, are in pain or someone we care about suffers. We do so at least for a few seconds. We tend to share our illnesses and causes of suffering louder than any success because we subconsciously know, people will stop and listen or at least send a virtual hug. We receive the attention we yearn for. Most of the time we are consciously not aware of it.
Here is the controversy about this: Because we so desperately yearn for community plus we were taught that us not feeling well, gives us the attention and the caring love we need to survive, we focus more on what makes us feel miserable, the illness and the pain. On the other hand, we create campaigns against war, abuse and violence. We walk for the cure of cancer and so many other illnesses. We fight against what we subconsciously create.
In our society where resting your body and soul is being stigmatized as "lazy," we are creating subconsciously situations where our body reacts with illness, serving as an "excuse," a reason, to allow ourselves to rest.
Subconsciously we perceive that resting in a healthy way won't give us the attention we so long for in a world where we physically come closer together but drift more and more apart emotionally.
I believe, that we could change generations, if we'd break through this cycle of "suffering equals love" and instead create a society where we consciously and intentionally connect with others on a heart-felt level every minute of the day no matter the circumstances. I believe, that we would allow ourselves to experience a deep inner and healing connection that will transcend into interpersonal connections being beyond limits of what we know is possible.
Will you truly care about me if I am well or will you only see me, when I am miserable?