A Conversation at the Rifle Range

A Conversation at the Rifle Range
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He: This country's in a %*#! mess! You a conservative or a liberal?
Me: Me? Sure.
He: Which one?
Me: Which one about what?
He: About politics.
Me: Such as?
He: Such as States Rights v. Federal Government?
Me: I like 'em both.
He: Black Lives v. Blue Lives?
Me: I like 'em both.
He: Women's rights v. Fetus rights?
Me: I like 'em both.
He: Gun rights v. gun control?
Me: I like 'em both.
He: %#*! You're wishy-washy!
Me: No, I'm washy-wishy.
He: C'mon! What are you, a joker!
Me: No, seriously. We need a washing! A scrubbing! A good washing away the dirt! I'm washin'-wishin'!

He: You for capital punishment?
Me: No, I'm pro-life.
He: You're a liberal, aren't you?
Me: Am I?
He: You for abortion?
Me: For abortion? No, I'm pro-life.
He: So, you're a conservative?
Me: Am I?
He: Where you on war?
Me: I'm against it. I'm pro-life.
He: I knew it! You're a liberal, aren't you?
Me: Am I?
He: If everybody felt like you there'd be nobody to defend our country.
Me: I volunteered to fight in Vietnam.
He: So, you're fooling with me, aren't you? You're a conservative.
Me: Am I?
He: What about Gay Rights?
Me: What about 'em?
He: You for 'em?
Me: I'm for equal rights for all human beings.
He: I knew it? You're a liberal.
Me: Am I?

He: What about freedom of religion for Christian schools?
Me: What about it?
He: You for it?
Me: Sure am.
He: You're messing with me, man. You're a conservative, aren't you?
Me: Am I?

He: I don't really know what you are. And I don't believe you know either.
Me: Oh, I know, alright.
He: I gotta hear this. Okay, I'll bite. Who are you?
Me: A child of God. Follower of Christ. A flawed sinner saved by grace, trying to love everybody and failing a million times a day.
He: S#%*! I shoulda known!

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