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Self-Deprecating Narcissism among Christian Leaders

Posted: 04/ 2/11 08:00 PM ET

Having recently returned from the National Religious Broadcasters Convention, which I have attended on behalf of my clients for the past 30 years, there is an issue I feel compelled to address, one completely avoided by most Christians.

It has bothered me since the first time I entered the large atrium at the Washington Sheraton, where the convention used to be held in the 80s and early-90s. When I walked into the atrium in 1983 -- new to the industry -- I had no idea about what to expect, but I was shocked and ill prepared by what I witnessed, nonetheless. Within a few minutes of my entrance, the Jim & Tammie Faye Bakker Show commenced live from the atrium, complete with orchestra, singers and complementing cast. It was a performance worthy of a Las Vegas or New York production: polished, professional, well-choreographed and upbeat, as well as disingenuous, pretentious and slick.

At the center of attention, amid all of the acclaim, were Jim and Tammy Faye, both exquisitely dressed, well-manicured and perfectly coifed. My astonishment didn't end there, however. Not even close. As I stared in wild-eyed bewilderment, Jimmy Swaggert passed, wearing a camelhair topcoat draped over his shoulders, which looked like a cape, bestowing a regal quality upon him. In his wake trailed half-a-dozen young men and women, like Medieval serfs and waifs, each eager to do the bidding of their celebrity superstar. Pat Robertson came next, followed by Jerry Falwell and other celebrities, each attempting to outdo the others in ostentation. Not to be outdone, lesser luminaries of the "Electric Church" passed, shadowed by the ubiquitous entourage of comely young men and women, each attempting to outdo the other in an endless quest for self-importance.

As I witnessed this display of pretension in stunned silence, I couldn't help but wonder if the Lord walked in, would He be carrying a whip just like He did when He cast the moneychangers out of the Temple, nearly two millennia earlier. I wondered what Christ -- who was born of humble means, never pursued affluence and died ignominiously on a cross -- would think about what was occurring at the National Religious Broadcasters Convention.

After the scandals, which crippled the electric church a few years later, the convention calmed down substantially. But there remains a strong undercurrent of self-deprecating narcissism among the luminaries -- those who are considered to be the lords of evangelicalism, especially within their own fiefdoms. In the subsequent years, the faces have begun to change, but this egregious character quality has remained a constant among the superstars, past and present.

The concept of "self-deprecating narcissism" may seem like an oxymoron, but I can assure you, it is not. It does, however, require defining. As a caveat, let me acknowledge that not all of the stars of electric Christianity have this character flaw, but a substantial number do. There are a few exceptions -- precious few.

Like others who have a narcissistic personality disorder, the lords of the electric church are self-centered but, unlike their secular counterparts, the leaders of the electric church are never outwardly boastful. People may be forgiving of narcissism in movie stars, beauty queens and exceptional athletes, but certainly not of Christian leaders. This is where they differ from the classic model of narcissism. Because Christ was humble, these leaders are expected to behave similarly. Outwardly, they do, especially by the message they convey to their followers. Their demeanor is always that of a humble servant, eager to follow God's will. They have taken self-deprecating humility and made it an art form, cleverly masking their compulsive craving for attention, approbation and admiration.

Many who recognize their behavior for what it is believe these leaders are conning their followers, but that's not accurate. In fact, it's the exact opposite. A con knows what he or she is doing but chooses to do it anyway, despite the harm it causes. The electronic lords genuinely believe that what they are doing is right, which makes them far more dangerous. In their minds, they have a higher calling than others -- a closer relationship with God -- making whatever they do seen justifiable to them.

If someone gets in their way, especially someone employed by them, that person is perceived as thwarting God's will and fully deserving of the retribution they receive from the narcissistic leader. Because these leaders genuinely believe themselves to be better than others, they insist that each of their employees fall in line, regardless of how outrageous or bizarre the superstar's demands become.

To make matters worse, nearly all of the electronic lords are hypersensitive to criticism. For insulation from disapproval, the lords surround themselves with weak-willed sycophants who wouldn't dream of disagreeing with them. Instead, these well-paid non-entities consistently validate perceptions and behavior that deviate substantially from biblical standards. Within ministries like these, which dominate the electric church, there are two sets of rules: those for the narcissist and those for everyone else.

Within these ministries, a tacit "no-talk" rule is maintained, which keeps the eccentricities of the leader a secret from the rest of the world. And this rule is aggressively enforced. Whenever an underling balks, that person is shamed, castigated and humiliated, while -- at the same time -- being told that their "bad attitude" is being prayed for. If that doesn't shame the person into submission, the verbal abuse is intensified and the person is eventually terminated. Wounded, the discarded person often abandons his or her beliefs, while blaming God for what happened, saying, "God should have done something to stop it."

Undeterred by hurting others in the process of building God's Kingdom on Earth, which just happens to be their kingdom as well, these narcissists regularly take advantage of others, routinely abusing those they are "called to serve." Reasoning that the ends justify the means, they use God's name to wound others. Whenever someone gets in their way, they misuse God's authority to enforce their will, which certainly takes His name in vain. Believing that they have a higher calling, the evangelical lords are certain that God condones their behavior and methods, which the sycophants who surround them eagerly affirm.

The emotional carnage of wrecked lives left behind by these narcissists has become so extensive that it threatens to outnumber those blessed by their ministry efforts. At the same time, few are willing to call them to task, exposing their behavior to the light, reasoning that such whistle blowing would harm God's work.

Obviously, I disagree with that conclusion and have no problem exposing them. In my quarter century of working for Christian ministries, I have witnessed the shattering of many lives, which has led me to write about this subject extensively. It's a role I will continue to pursue.

 
 
 
 
 
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02:53 PM on 05/21/2011
Willie George of Church on the Move fits the bill. I grew up in that church blind to what you called the "shattering of many lives". The feeling was that to be out of Willie's will, was to be out of God's will. He actually taught an entire message about why his congregation should never call him by his name, but only Pastor George. You were actually made to feel lesser for not being called into ministry. People live with a strange sort of fear in that church. It's entirely their own bubble, which is a bit of relief because they have no influence in the real world, but their culture is so harmful to the people in it. If there is a God and he wanted me to be a believer, I grew up in the wrong church.

All that said, I have a respect for the people who show true humility not just as a pastor but as a person. It's a hard thing to be truly humble, but I think it starts with being grateful for the good people in your life, consider yourself very lucky when you're loved. Just don't take advantage of it.
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Ytrus
''it's a map''
07:27 PM on 04/05/2011
Religion, used as a tool. Pedestrian reader, shocked.
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
12:09 AM on 04/05/2011
I think the author has it right. The celebrity cult is destroying religion's ability to help people become better and more human.
And, yeah, I think I have it closer to just right than anyone else--so does that make me narcissistic?
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umbriago
The Tooth Shall Set My Fee
03:43 PM on 04/03/2011
You could be describing the entrance processional of Easter midnight mass at St. Peter's in Rome.
10:10 PM on 04/10/2011
Yes, it is the same thing, except that it is the Evangelical version.
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ninetailedfox
banning people.....so childish
02:08 PM on 04/03/2011
Something to ponder, are the fundamenta­list rewriting history? Arent the liberal christians also guilty of revisionis­m by pretending to be peaceful, compassion­ate and tolerant even though actual factual history books dont support the ideology of peaceful tolerant christians­?
12:52 PM on 04/04/2011
Well the philosophy of "liberalism" is intensely problematic because it assumes that the "system" will inevitable progress to something better. This has been proven false because of World War I and II. Nevertheless, liberal historians tend to write history with that progressive meta-narrative in mind. Christians, particularly of the 19th and 20th centuries shared this model. So on that I would agree with you.

There are Christian movements, both ancient and modern, that reject both the fundamentalist and liberal models. The Nestorians in antiquity never engaged in the same destruction that other groups engaged in. Also, the emerging Church has often rejected the same issues and calls to violence of the past within Christianity
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ninetailedfox
banning people.....so childish
02:00 PM on 04/03/2011
Interesting article. A few things caught my eye, and some criticisms.

. People may be forgiving of narcissism in movie stars, beauty queens and exceptional athletes, but certainly not of Christian leaders

The term Christian leader is an oxymoron. For one, Christians are supposed to be followers, never EVER leaders.

The electronic lords genuinely believe that what they are doing is right, which makes them far more dangerous. In their minds, they have a higher calling than others -- a closer relationship with God -- making whatever they do seen justifiable to them.

Many christians believe they are above human law. When I was a Christian, I didnt question the dangerous belief this was. Now that Ive left(which was several years ago), I realize that christianity in general is far too dangerous and liberalizing christianity does nothing but trivialize a very serious flaw
researcher
researcher
12:15 PM on 04/03/2011
my friends preacher states on sun morning when he wants extra money.

go home pray to god and let god decide how much you should give.

it works every time last week he raised 10,000 plus besides the regular sun morning take.

moral of story god is very generous with your money. :-)

he also states god is with us today in church. hidden meaning of course if you are not in church god is not with you. god is not infinite thing just in church with you.

atheists are made not born and religion is the best atheist maker there is, scientism comes in a close second.
06:58 PM on 04/03/2011
I would fan you, but I like your fan count too much as it currently stands.
10:39 AM on 04/03/2011
Of serious concern to me is the group of ministers who offer a seemingly more systematic, theologized cover for this sort of narcissism. I have in mind specifically John Piper's "Desiring God" theology. Piper would be no fan of some of the people Mr. Watts accurately calls out, but a theology that centralizes individual desire on the presumption that the object of desire is Truth/the Good/God does not consider that the thing desired is at least partially a projection of Truth/Goodness/God. A deep self-confidence gets smuggled in (i.e., "I can trust myself to recognize Truth/God, and I can trust my desire for God to be true in its object and intent") while the language still sounds humble ("all I desire is God, not my own gain or wishes"). Self-righteousness is almost inevitable without deep self-scrutiny that extends all the way to one's own God-concept. The apostle Paul wrestled with it, too.

Mr. Watts's experience seems to put him in with the "prosperity gospel" crowd more, and I think he's right on. But lest the discussion remain focused on the Bakkers et al., I would point out that self-deprecating narcissism is a problem among even the prosperity gospel's evangelical critics--maybe a more pernicious problem with the critics because it all sounds like responsible theology, and Piper doesn't wear flashy jewelry.
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Tracy Fortune
Geek, mother, lesbian, fair & compassionate ;^)
05:50 AM on 04/03/2011
I barely survived a 2 year relationship with a partner diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What you describe here isn't even something anyone but a close-up victim can truly appreciate.

What you've described would be a selfish jerk to most- they just can't grasp the evil & the complete lack of empathy that is the real narcissist. Worse, is how the NPD can "play a part" convincingly- not only running you down in the process, but building themselves up simultaneously. Read here- it's pretty spot-on:

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html

Read every bit of this site. It's self-protection and yes, people like this are all around you...
researcher
researcher
12:16 PM on 04/03/2011
I heard one :"guru" state nothing comes into experience uninvited.

from my point of view less invite for some. :-)
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WarriorLemming
Willard Romney, "runs-with-scissors".
03:14 AM on 04/03/2011
QUOTE:
"Whenever an underling balks, that person is shamed, castigated and humiliated, while -- at the same time -- being told that their "bad attitude" is being prayed for. If that doesn't shame the person into submission, the verbal abuse is intensified and the person is eventually terminated. Wounded, the discarded person often abandons his or her beliefs, while blaming God for what happened, saying, "God should have done something to stop it."

Suffice to say, reading that brought back ill and bitter feelings from personal experience spent in a rather large Assemblies of God church for approx. a two year period--this article is spot on. I've since stopped blaming "God" and have learned to blame the appropriate people--of course, I no longer believe there is a God or god, whatever. meh
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Jack Watts
08:41 AM on 04/03/2011
It's easy to see why you would feel that way. Most abused people do, but for just one minute, think about this. Christ was spit upon, beaten, and murdered by religious leaders, which means he understands your pain completely.
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ninetailedfox
banning people.....so childish
02:03 PM on 04/03/2011
"Christ" was a leader. That is the huge message most christians ignore. Following christ does not a better person make. That is from many experiences, and from my own intuition.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
02:14 AM on 04/03/2011
Oh, I neglected to mention that in addition to the perfectly coiffed hair and impecabbly-tailored suit, Swaggart was wearing several rings that had to be worth thousands of dollars each. All this is of course financed by the offerings of his followers...and they kept sending money even after a second scandal.
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Jack Watts
08:43 AM on 04/03/2011
Actually, it's worse than that, but you are correct.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
08:57 AM on 04/03/2011
I'm sure we don't know a tenth of what these characters are up to. We only know about Swaggart because he got caught out.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
01:53 AM on 04/03/2011
(continued from last post)

In addition to his boasts about his charity work, Swaggart was well-known for his censorious attitude towards GLBT people and others whom he considered "moral failures". Then he was caught, "erm" with his pants down with a prostitute. I would have felt sorry for him but for all the vituperation he had spewed over the years. By which measure you judge others, you yourself will be judged.

A lot of these clowns are still carrying on, as narcicisstic as ever and I wonder how people still fall for their nonsense and send all that money in.
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Jack Watts
08:47 AM on 04/03/2011
Again, you are spot on. I've often wondered if Swaggert's messages about moral purity were an attempt by him to control himself. I believe I'm correct, but I don't know for sure.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
08:54 AM on 04/03/2011
Thank you. I think you are right, too, though we are unlikely to ever know for sure.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
01:47 AM on 04/03/2011
Just for giggles and fits I used to watch the Trinity Broadcasting Network in its early days. The first thing I noticed was the phoniness of the various personalities featured. The most outstanding was a half-hour or so show starring, I believe, Jimmy Swaggart. There he sat, hair perfectly coiffed, wearing a very expensive suit and tie and carrying on about how many good works his charity performed. There was an air of narcissism and insincerity about the whole thing.

Other shows were pretty much similar: plastic-looking individuals doiing their best to act humble but not succeeding. I understand that Christians have TV ministries and all and do provide some spiritual solace for homebound and ill people who otherwise would have little outside religious contact and I have no problem with that.

I just shake my head, though, when people who have so little send in their "love offerings" to support these people's lives in a level of luxury that is alsmot obscene. Ostentatious homes, expensive homes and cars, private jets...sad for a religion whose founder lived from hand to mouth and basically "walked his talk".

I could be more tolerant of their foibles--after all we all have them--were many of them not up there condemning and putting people down right and left. Jimmy Swaggart, or as I call him, Jimmy Braggart was a prime example of this.
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Jack Watts
08:50 AM on 04/03/2011
Okay, this is the best comment I've had for the three articles of mine the Huffington Post has published:

"I just shake my head, though, when people who have so little send in their "love offerings" to support these people's lives in a level of luxury that is alsmot obscene. Ostentatio us homes, expensive homes and cars, private jets...sad for a religion whose founder lived from hand to mouth and basically 'walked his talk.'"

brilliant insight.
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johnnybic
Seeking to impose the gay agenda since 1971
03:51 PM on 04/04/2011
I believe the same words can be applied to many of the RCC's recently appointed bishops, archbishops, and cardinals. The days of Paul VI's appointees renouncing the mansions, chaffeurs, and other worldy trappings are long gone, sadly. Even the former Franciscan Chaput in Denver -- who one would think would model his life after the Poverello -- adores his Irish linen and lace surplices. This comment would elicit, I am certain, the "self-deprecating narcissism" of which you wrote.
12:36 AM on 04/03/2011
I'm still, after 40 years still shocked. Still shocked that there are people that actually are so uneducated and naive that these people fly around in private jets.
I grew up blue coller, with little education, but you must actually have the intelligence of a piece of wood to give these people money.

What kind of fear do these people have to actually need these kinds of scammers to make them feel better about their lives.

Give your money to a homeless shelter and you will have a much better chance of getting into heaven.
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Uncle Bob
Darwin loves you.
11:29 PM on 04/02/2011
Narcissism is like nihilism, in that it is always used to describe someone else. To me it is always a red flag, an invisible tag line that says "look how humble I am!".

There is a certain amount of admiration to be offered the mega-church clergy and tv evangelicals, they are more honest in some ways. They tell you what they are after in the first 30 seconds and don't leave you guessing. Can't say the same for most.
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SocratesFan
Elitist who loves books and learning
05:07 AM on 04/03/2011
It may be "always used to describe someone else," but that, by itself, doesn't make the charge WRONG.

If someone is displaying narcissistic behavior, he needs to be called on it before he hurts, or inconveniences, someone.

That we refuse to do this is part of the reason why the U.S. has become such an opportunistic society as of late.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
08:59 AM on 04/03/2011
Fanned and faved. Exactly.