They were the couple who inspired every single woman who thought she was too old to be sexy and attractive to younger men. They made it acceptable for an older woman and a younger man to fall madly in love. And pictures of them always made us happy and hopeful. But as of three days ago, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are officially divorced. What went wrong? Here are some facts, as well as my opinion.
Kutcher met Moore when he was 25 and she was 41. Two years later they got married. When I think about how much I changed from 25 to 41, I can't even imagine how many potential issues this couple had, just because of how much growth Kutcher would go through over the next decade and a half. Marriage is hard enough for ANY couple. Factor in such a large age gap, and you are already starting at somewhat of a disadvantage.
In my opinion, people in their 20s are still trying to figure out life. I did really stupid things in my 20s, I changed careers several times, I dated all the wrong men, and basically had my priorities in bad order. I'm not saying that's the case for Kutcher or anyone else in their 20s, I just think it's possible.
Now, let's address life at 41. I remember really getting my life together in my early 40s. I was getting divorced, and sure, I was insecure and it wasn't the happiest of times in my life. But, as I got into my forties, I became more comfortable in my skin, I had self assurance I didn't have as a younger woman, and I was just smarter, not making emotional decisions like I did in my youth.
At 41, Moore was a divorced, single mother who had gone from a Hollywood fascination and our favorite big screen actress to disappearing into a peaceful, family life. So, what did she really have in common with Kutcher? Not minimizing what they had. They really seemed like they were in love for a long, long time. But, like they introduced the world to the older-woman younger-man relationship, they are now showing us that maybe these relationships have a shelf life. Maybe as we grow, the age difference becomes more pronounced and less manageable.
All that said, even if they were three years apart instead of 16, they could have drifted apart and broken up. Men and women cheat and leave each other regardless of age difference. There are no guarantees that a relationship is going to last forever even when the couple are close in age or the same age.
Here's the part that kind of bothers me. I just read that "sources say Ashton is thinking of getting engaged to Mila Kunis." This to me is just another example of someone rushing into another marriage too soon. Why do people do that?? Listen, I LOVE Mila Kunis and I think she and Ashton are an adorable couple. And I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up together. But why does it have to happen tomorrow? Secondly, these could just be rumors, and maybe the couple will wait. I hope they do.
As for as Demi, I have a prediction. I have loved her since I saw her in "St. Elmo's Fire" and "About Last Night." I think she is drop dead gorgeous, I think she's smart and she's a great actor. I have a feeling she will reinvent herself and do something really special. I don't think her fans have ever forgotten about her. And lastly, I think she will find love again. I really, really do.
Kutcher will continue to thrive. He can't make enough great rom-coms. And honestly, Kunis will do the same.
But there is a part of me who will never forget the blissful Demi and Ashton. They gave us the fairytale we all wanted, and they showed us that age is just a number when it comes to falling in love. Unfortunately, they also showed us that happily ever after might have an expiration date.
Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the blog, Divorced Girl Smiling. She is also the author of the comedic novel, FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE about life after divorce. Ms. Pilossoph is a weekly business features reporter and columnist for Sun-Times Media. She lives in Chicago with her two kids. And she's divorced (obviously.)
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