There's a bit of the hullabaloo going on with our favorite g-men. Apparently, they forgot to pay the phone bill for a couple of years, and a report's just come out that some of those wiretaps they got from the phone companies have been sporadically going down, in the middle of cases no less. Now, the ACLU, or as I like to call them, "Asshole Complaining about Legal Unfairness" (fine, unfairness isn't a good word--sue me, I've got a crummy thesaurus) who've been looking for an opportunity to whine about the "illegal wiretapping" for months, have latched onto the phone company shutting them down. To explain, when the ACLU complained initially to the phone companies, talking about some constitutional hooey, the phone companies said that they were just trying to do their patriotic duty to help the FBI find terrorists between phone conversations about The Office. It made a lot of sense. Now though, the ACLU is saying, "Hey hey, phone companies. If you're really so patriotic, why are you shutting down the wiretaps?" It's a ridiculous idea that completely contradicts what the phone company is up to. Can't the ACLU see that if the phone company had to shut down the wiretaps in order to protect our way of life?
You and I, my gentle reader, are rational people who can understand the phone companies' logic. But for old smelly liberal out there who doesn't seem to "get it," let's take a minute or two and put it right into his head space, as long as it's not filled up with marijuana and Phish. Am I right? I thought so.
We all know why we were attacked on September 11. The terrorists hate our freedom. We were just so awesome that someone said, "let's get those guys!" We're free to do a lot of things in this country, and luckily, the FBI was free to monitor those things. But as we all know, freedom can never be free. As well as living in a free democracy, we live in a capitalist country. The terrorists hate us for that as well. They want to be capitalists too, but they're unable to make money since all they have is sand.
By insisting that the FBI pay their bills, the phone companies were making sure that the wheels of capitalism kept running! Never forget! If the phone companies were to have let the FBI not pay their bills, the terrorists would have won! Even if the terrorists were able to get a few acts of terror through because the FBI was unable to contact their head offices with information that could have stopped them, it doesn't matter! Our economy is what's important!
No matter if you agree with the government wiretapping or if you're a high as a kite hippy, we can all see that the phone companies stopping that wiretapping was a strong defense of our dollar. We owe them our thanks.