Jacob Dickerman

Jacob Dickerman

Posted April 9, 2009 | 07:47 AM (EST)

Gay Marriage Is After My Rights

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I don't know if you've seen it yet, but if you're like me and two thirds of America, you need to see the new video from The National Organization for Marriage. It captures so perfectly the rights that are being impinged upon by gay marriage: the right to stop gay people from getting married. But what the video shows even better is something I've been aware of for some time. Gay marriage isn't about gay people: it's about me.

See, unlike the rest of the two thirds of America who don't believe in gay marriage, I'm attractive. I'm educated, funny, well spoken, and generally a pleasure to be around. I'm exactly what the gays want, and with my background in playwrighting and my past in theater, they already know that the homosexuals have a foot in my door.

Gay marriage is about turning me gay. After all, what else outside of my fear of not being able to commit myself to another person before the eyes of the government was stopping me from gaining a love of dick? I can already feel it starting. Since the decision in Iowa, I've noticed words creeping into my lexicon like Chiraz and Emory Board. I've begun to realize that D&G is a fashion label and that Monet is not. I'm even showering more. Gay marriage is trying to take vaginas out of my life forever.

I don't know what to do. A storm is gathering, and I know what's going to happen next. It'll start Raining Men. Every spe-ci-men.

I don't know if you've seen it yet, but if you're like me and two thirds of America, you need to see the new video from The National Organization for Marriage. It captures so perfectly the rights that...
I don't know if you've seen it yet, but if you're like me and two thirds of America, you need to see the new video from The National Organization for Marriage. It captures so perfectly the rights that...
 
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How cute is Jacob Dickerman???!!!!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:42 PM on 04/10/2009
- Ziploc I'm a Fan of Ziploc 4 fans permalink

LOL. Brilliant!!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:11 PM on 04/10/2009
- CJ1 I'm a Fan of CJ1 16 fans permalink

NOM's anti-gay rally in R.I. drew a whopping THREE people! LOL! And the rage of their "throng" was caught on camera...T­alk about looking stoopid.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:36 PM on 04/09/2009
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do you have a link? i love to laugh!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:53 PM on 04/09/2009

Thanks a BUNCH, Jacob Dickerman, for pulling out every tired, old, gay sterotype for the purpose of....

For the purpose of WHAT, exactly?

Perhaps you spent too much time in the theatre to realize that a lot of us are every bit as 'manly' as you are.

A lot of us play sports, could care less about designer duds, and even have 'manly' dogs and HUGE trucks.

But, thanks, Jacob Dickerman, for pulling out the stupid old stereotypes for the purpose of...

For the purpose of WHAT, exactly.

It's raining men? Really, dude? REALLY????­??????????­??

Thanks for nothing.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:42 PM on 04/09/2009
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On behalf of Jacob Dickerson, you're welcome. And the Huffington Post agrees.

(These comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Jacob Dickerson or the Huffington Post.)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:18 PM on 04/09/2009
- mishi I'm a Fan of mishi 6 fans permalink

Good Lord, Butch, lighten up. It's a joke - get that, a J-O-K-E - putting down stereotypes. Obviously, not every gay guy is into D&G, just like not every man has a sense of irony and wit.

We who are masculinit­y-impaired do, though, kneel before your HUGE, compensatory truck.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:23 PM on 04/09/2009
- taddles I'm a Fan of taddles 28 fans permalink

It has a lift kit in it, it's VERY huge and VERY lifted...b­ig truck...ve­ry big, and he has a "manly" dog. Does that mean his dog walks on two legs and wears jeans and a Gold's gym muscle shirts and hits on chicks? You supose the dog drives the truck?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:50 PM on 04/09/2009

gay guy here... hence the handle.

What's D&G ???

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:15 PM on 04/09/2009

Somehow I doubt you are half as manly as you want to be based on your post trying to scream I am manly!!!!!
Maybe if you didn't try so hard at being something you are obviously not you might have caught he was JOKING....­.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:38 PM on 04/09/2009
- mishi I'm a Fan of mishi 6 fans permalink

Yes, it's mighty wind that's a breakin'..­..

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:45 PM on 04/09/2009

So, what part of a homosexual marriage is turning you gay? More to the point, allowing homosexuals to marry each other does not mean that all marriages have to be homosexual. I guess I don't follow the line between civil rights and forcing straight people to turn. I am a heterosexual male, married to a woman. If two men want to get married to each other....I am not involved in their relationship. I am involved only in my marriage, not theirs. Just as I am not involved in my brother's marriage or my parent's marriage, or any other heterosexual marriages.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:44 PM on 04/09/2009
- mishi I'm a Fan of mishi 6 fans permalink

Honey, one word from a big ol' homo: IR-O-NY

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:44 PM on 04/09/2009
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You do realize that your'e reading the "COMEDY" page?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:42 PM on 04/09/2009
- taddles I'm a Fan of taddles 28 fans permalink

Oh my.....som­eone isn't using all their intellectual potential today.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:52 PM on 04/09/2009
- LoreLeo I'm a Fan of LoreLeo 2 fans permalink
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Woe is me! I shall be forced to marry a woman now! Oh well, at least I won't have to worry about getting pregnant, which should cut down on all the abortions I've been forced to have since that's legal too.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:08 AM on 04/09/2009
- Gidster I'm a Fan of Gidster 218 fans permalink
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lol...

The points given in that ad are salacious and for the most part false!
I saw one of the NOM reps on Hardball, in the same sentence she demanded state sponsored discrimination against a segment of Americans, then said she is not a bigot.....­...!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:55 AM on 04/09/2009
- M1 I'm a Fan of M1 36 fans permalink
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I liked it when she called the HRC president a liar and then turned around and told him it was not nice to call people liars when he challenged her. Hypocrite could not even stop herself in a 5 minute tape.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:21 PM on 04/09/2009
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You should have posted the NOM's audition tape:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZaGks5LkkI

The people in the ads aren't even real. The whole thing is a sham.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:49 AM on 04/09/2009
- CapableOne I'm a Fan of CapableOne 6 fans permalink
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Oops, NOM has pulled that one already...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:15 AM on 04/10/2009
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It's been pulled. Must have been embarrassing for them. Heck their spokesperson is embarrassing enough. He lisps more than Carson from Queer Eye!

I mean how Gay is the spokesperson for their ad?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:45 PM on 04/10/2009
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Another sign of just how bad the economy is right now: that gay actors are so desparate they would take this sort of gig.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:07 PM on 04/10/2009
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