The Kindle is Amazon's amazing new ebook reader. Our technology correspondent, Sarcasmo the Talking Toaster, is just dying to get one in his hands. He sent in his reasons from one of your kitchens!
6. Convenience.
Sarcasmo is amazed at how light and small Amazon's device is. Sarcasmo may be wrong on this though, as most of Sarcasmo's books are 10 feet tall, in the shape of five pointed stars, and covered in satanic verse, which happens to attract attention. Yes, Sarcasmo is a satanist. Do you have an issue with that?
5. Ability to carry many books.
Even though Sarcasmo takes between two and four weeks to finish a book, Sarcasmo would like to believe that Sarcasmo may at some point be reading anywhere between 30 and 40 books throughout the day. If you are able to read between 30 and 40 books throughout the day, Sarcasmo would like to know if you'd be willing to be sacrificed to his dark lord at the next new moon?
4. "Paper-like display."
Sarcasmo is, unfortunately, allergic to paper. If he comes too close to it, it catches on fire. Sarcasmo's own books must all be laminated for both their and his protection. Sarcasmo has, however, always been jealous of people who can touch paper. Sarcasmo has sacrificed the still beating hearts of many people so that his dark god may allow him to be a paper toucher, but it seems he has simply not yet found the right heart. Until he finds it, Sarcasmo will content himself with the Kindle's surprisingly paper-like display.
3. Internet connectivity.
The Kindle will be able to connect online and allow Sarcasmo to view the many blogs he reads every day to get news of Satan's war against God. Sarcasmo thinks it's amazing that with nothing but a simple wireless signal, you can interact so quickly with Satan's worshippers the world over. Sarcasmo believes that this wireless technology could do wonders for the world. Sarcasmo has a question for you. Can you imagine being able to connect wirelessly with your computer or phone? Because now, Sarcasmo can.
2. Price!
With the new Kindle, Sarcasmo will be able pay as little as five dollars for a book. And once Sarcasmo has saved up the 400 dollars and purchased all the books he already owns so he can read them on his Kindle, he can see no end to how much he'll save!
And the Number One reason Sarcasmo the Talking Toaster wants to buy a Kindle...
Sarcasmo is a retarded, satanic toaster.