How to Really Support Mom on Mother's Day (Hint: Ditch the Flowers)

05/07/2015 05:20 pm ET | Updated May 07, 2016

Poll any of the moms in the room with you or on your social media what they would like to get for Mother's Day and you will start to see overwhelmingly similar answers that will boil down to some form of "time alone" or "me time."

It seems like the trite answer, but it's true. (I see some of you rolling your eyes.) We really do need some uninterrupted, guilt-free time for ourselves. It's just something that most women, and especially moms, don't take the time for during a busy week (bless our little multi-tasking hearts).

While we're busy juggling jobs and significant others and kids and schedules and extra curricular activities, chances are we're just not going to get to the end of the day (or week) and say, "Oh yeah, I'm headed to the spa." Because, the majority of the time, everyone else wins out over mom's time for herself.

In case you aren't aware, moms are always "on." If you don't have a kid, it's hard to explain, but it's something that happens when you become a mother. There's an internal button that flips to ON OVERDRIVE when you're a mom. It's that thing where moms look like they're sleeping, but they're conscious enough to know that the cookie jar is being opened downstairs. It's that thing that allows moms to pick out their child's "MOMMY!" in a crowd of other children yelling "mommy" on the playground. When you're a mom, it's like a million of your nerve endings have been cut and are constantly exposed to nonstop stimuli and you're hyper aware of what's going on around you at all times.

And, it's exhausting.

So when moms finally have a complete and total meltdown where we're eating cookies in the closet while we're doing the ugly, snotty cry, we are serious when we say we need some time for ourselves.

So, if you're considering flowers, or a cute Mom is #1 mug, or an appliance, or making her breakfast in bed, just... don't. Instead, give her the thing that she will cherish the most: some time alone. Make her a coupon for a night out and then make her go. Tell her that you'll pick the kids up from school and shuttle them around for a week, or for a month of Saturdays. If she loves pampering, give her a gift certificate for an entire day at the spa (not just a mani-pedi). Or, if you're a real baller, pay for a weekend away for her at a hotel in a quaint little area close to your house, but not too close, and include some of her favorite books.

Those things? Those are the things that moms really want, but will rarely ask for during Mother's Day. Not only will she thank you, but she'll be a better mom (and wife and partner) for getting some time for herself to recharge. We promise.

(And, for the love of all that is good, don't do any of that passive-aggressive guilt trip crap about giving her some "me" time.)

A version of this post appeared on Follow Prime Parents Club on Twitter and Facebook.