You open the fridge.
Milk, three eggs and a limp cucumber that's oozing some unsavory liquid.
There is nothing to eat. In the entire house there is nothing.
A decision based solely on looking in the fridge.
The freezer got bypassed, it's so full your playing frozen veg jenga every time you open it to get an ice lolly.
The cupboards?
Well, the cupboards are full to bursting and if you add any more tins of baked beans onto it's manic shelves it might just fart in protest!
But no, there is nothing.
So you write a list, only the basics you tell yourself. Milk, bread, eggs and cheese oh and those Nando sachets thingies to recreate a 'cheeky' chicken dinner.
So with your list in one hand and determination to stick to the list etched into your brain, you head out to your nearest supermarket.
It is busy, always so busy...
Trolley or basket, trolley or basket. So many decisions before you've even walked through the doors! You opt for a trolley a decision you will regret on your way out.
The store workers are packing the shelves whilst the customers are shopping causing everyone to play musical trolleys with unstable looking crates, pushchairs carting overgrown children and grandmas with their mobility trolleys.
Phew!
You made it through the first four aisles, but during your trolley dodging and saying hello to old friends stocking up on digestive biscuits, you haven't noticed that your own trolley is half full!
How? When? Who did that? #wasn'tme
- Two for the price of one -- Two boxes of Porridge
Every opportunity and bargain is used to fill your trolley.
"Oooooh apple cutters, egg timers and bottle openers are on sale." Buy them and add them to the three of each you already have at home.
All of which are:
Unopened. In the box. Slightly dusty. #bargainhoarderhunter
The trolley is getting harder to push, your shopping list is scrunched up and stuck together with your stale chewing gum.
Unreadable and now completely irrelevant.
100 items.
Well done, you are now fully stocked
Until next week...