The end has finally come. The battle rounds of Season 3 of "The Voice" came to a close this week, but not without a bang. We saw what Cee Lo and Adam deemed one of the best and most even battles ever, a background singer that stole the spotlight and the worst crimping job on the show yet. Poor Kelly, Crapa ... in more ways than one.
Read on to find out who the final three performers joining the knockout rounds are. Speaking of which, if you understand Carson's explanation of the knockout rounds better than we did -- Isn't it the battle rounds, but with different songs instead of duets? -- please share in the comments.
Adriana Louise vs. Jordan Pruitt
"Hot & Cold," Katy Perry
Former Disney darling Jordan is up against gang violence victim Adriana. Seems like a fair fight. When they step up to the piano for their first rehearsal, Adriana is the first contestant to genuinely be thrilled by Billie Joe Armstrong.
Billie Joe could hear the professionalism in Jordan and really liked the raspiness in her voice, while
X-Teens thinks Adriana is holding back and wants to hear more aggression.
Chelsey: "Why didn't Vajayjay Hudgens leave Jordan a message on the Sprint tablet?"
Jaimie: "That was way harsh, Baby V."
Struggling musician Adriana is threatened by Jordan's stage experience and at their final rehearsal, Christina thinks Jordan should venture out and take risks.
Chelsey: "X-Tina really is the only coadge who sings all the time. It's such a, 'No, you're doing it wrong. Listen to me do it right' thing."
Jaimie: "Because she's an internationally renowned pop star."
"Because I worked with Disney for so long, it was kind of like a security blanket," Jordan says. But she thinks she has "an aggressive personality -- people just haven't seen it yet." Rawr.
Christina is really hoping to find a future pop superstar in one of these ladies and she thinks it'll all come down to the big battle night.
"I experienced success at such a young age and I feel like this is my second chance at success," Jordan says before she takes the stage. "I am not going home tonight. "It seems like a death wish, but moving on.
Will it be the "fearless New York waitress," Carson wonders, or "the singer who once toured with the Jonas Brothers?" Hard to say, Cars.
During the performance, Jordan is working some hairography, crowd clapping and impressive high heel jumping, but she seems to lack the genuine passion and real attitude Adriana brings to the performance.
As Christina takes time to mull over her "super tough decision," as Carson has deemed it, Cee Lo says theirs was "one of the best battles we've had." "You both are competitive vocalists," Cee Lo adds and compares this to an Olympic competition. But he liked Adriana's feist so he's go with her.
"I don't think that we've ever had a battle that's been so even," Adam says. He doesn't know how to help Christina make a decision, but ultimately, he says he'd go with Jordan because she peaked at the end.
Blake says he's "never heard a break in runs" like he did with Jordan so he's going with her too. He also wishes he had a steal left, but what's done is done, Shelton.
Ultimately, it's up to Christina. She says she bonded with Jordan due to their Disney upbringings and says she was surprised by the risks she took. But because of the notes Adriana hit, Christina says that the performer "went there" and X-Teens goes with the girl from the Bronx.
Chelsey: "Adriana went there. Like 'Degrassi.'"
Jaimie: "X-Teens is Team Nickelodeon. That would explain her decision."
Backstage, Adriana seems legitimately shocked by her coadge's choice, while on the stage, Jordan starts to tear up. "Ugh. Honey, please don't cry," X-Teens says as she holds on to her weave before half-rushing the stage to hug Ms. Pruitt.
Chelsey: "Christina waddles to the stage."
Jaimie: "She's trying to make sure her boobs don't hit her in the face."
Backstage, Jordan says she thought it was going to be her and it wasn't. Cue more tears.
Chelsey: "Ugh, Jordan. Even defeat couldn't un-cocky you."
Jaimie: "It's that Disney confidence. Mickey taught it to her."
Chelsey: "'If you can dream it, you can do it.' That is a Walt Disney quote and also my quote from my senior yearbook, I think."
Jaimie: "It would be."
Winner: Adriana Louise
Kelly Crapa vs. Michaela Page
"I Hate Myself for Loving You," Joan Jett
We weren't formally introduced to either of these ladies during the blind auditions, but Kelly is a 15-year-old country singer from Connecticut (we weren't aware that Connecticut allows country music) and Michaela is a 16-year-old punk rock chick with a mohawk from Boca Raton, FL, a.k.a. the land of Jewish grandparents, so this is confusing as well. These girls belong in a Starbucks contradiction commercial.
Chelsey: "Crapa ... that is a silly last name."
Jaimie: "She looks like Ali Lohan."
Chelsey: "Of course Michaela sang P!nk during her blind audition. She is so un-Blake."
Jaimie: "SO UNBLAKE. She has Melanie Martinez hair though in the multi-colored-ness."
As the two girls practice the song for the first time around the grand white piano, Buble is very impressed by Michaela's pipes, stating that she is a "60 year old black woman trapped in the body of a punk girl." And that marks the second contestant this season to be compared to an elderly black woman (looking at you, Cody Belew). Blake tells Michaela not to oversing, and he tells Kelly that she needs to sing like a punk rocker.
During the final rehearsal, Kelly proves she's a force to be reckoned with as she ups the country flair to compete with Michaela's strong vocals. Coadge Blake is pleasantly surprised with Kelly and tells her that he is very impressed with her improvements.
Jaimie: "What do you think Michaela looks like when she wakes up?"
Chelsey: "Like, her hair? A train wreck."
As the two girls hit the stage, it appears that the hairstylist was either wasted or lazy while crimping Kelly's hair. Crimping should not be a thing this century regardless, but this situation is just offensive.
Jaimie: "This should be a lesson to all 15-year-old girls. Do not let someone bring a crimper to your head without your say so."
Chelsey: "JUST SAY NO."
The performance begins and it is a Team Christina-esque cat fight, taken up a few notches. Definitely not something we expect to see on Team Blake.
Jaimie: "Whoooooaaaaaa. I can't tell if they practiced this, but there is some serious sass."
Chelsey: "THROW ELBOWS! Also, all I hear is Katie Holmes."
The battle to end all battles continues to escalate throughout the performance, and we legitimately feel like these two girls are about to fight.
Chelsey: "Kelly has bitch face on like whoa."
Jaimie: "She learned it in Connecticut."
Chelsey: "True. Living life with her nose turned up."
Jaimie: "I'd go with Michaela."
Chelsey: "I think so too."
Jaimie: "No hug at the end of this performance, I'm guessing."
Christina and Cee Lo both think that Michaela is the winner of the battle. Adam refers to it as a "musical pillow fight," which is insulting and pervy all at once. Nice one, Levine. Coadge Blake is proud of both of the girls, but says that Michaela's one year of experience over Kelly makes her the winner of the battle.
Winner: Michaela Page
Avery Wilson vs. Chevonne
Team: Cee Lo
"Titanium," David Guetta ft. Sia
Cee Lo pairs Connecticut dancer-turned-singer Avery Wilson against Jersey back-up singer Chevonne. This is some tri-state area shit! Avery comes from a family of dancers, but his father told him that he's a singer. Chevonne toured with Gaga. 'Nuff said.
When they meet their celebrity mentor Rob Thomas, Chevonne freaks out, which is kind of hilarious. As rehearsals begin, she's is killing it, and Avery struggles. Rob Thomas praises Chevonne, and she freaks out even more.
Chelsey: "My god, she is still going on about Rob Thomas. This is hilarious"
Jaimie: "In general, the freakouts over Rob Thomas have been hilarious. The fact that they have occurred is hilarious."
Chelsey: "True. 'ROB THOMAS SINGING MY PRAISE!? I HAVE DREAMED OF THIS MOMENT!.' Like, girl. You toured with GAGA."
At the final rehearsal, Avery has really stepped his game up.
Jaimie: "Ohhhhh. Avery sounds nice."
Chelsey: "He does. But he looks like he's wearing a pendant of life."
Chevonne is having trouble controlling her voice, but Cee Lo is also concerned about Avery's consistency. Perhaps he should give a temple guard his pendant to advance. It is clear that this a battle of raw talent vs. experience.
Chelsey: "Fat Dave Grohl is in the background, sipping on Starbucks. Guy's gotta stay awake! No snoozing!"
Jaimie: "Last one, DG! You can do it!"
As Avery and Chevonne prepare for battle, Chevonne says that she loves Avery, but she needs to win this as she bounces around backstage.
Chelsey: "I love how they've yet to refer to this as the final battle, like we don't know it's the last one and we don't know that X-Tina will be stealing the loser."
Carson gets over-excited as he announces the two contestants, and practically screams "Let the battle ... begin" at the top of his lungs. WE HEAR YOU, CARSON. You have a microphone.
The battle begins, as Carson told us it would, and the two sound great together, and much better than they sounded together during rehearsal.
Jaimie: "Cee Lo is so happy."
Chelsey: "Oh he has happy feet for sure."
Jaimie: "I love Avery's outfit. I don't like every note Chevonne sings, but some are just SO awesome."
Avery's dance moves flow much better than Chevonne's, whose moves seem forced and over-dramatic.
Chelsey: "Avery just glided like he was on roller blades."
Jaimie: "Christine is laughing at Chevonne. Because she is so NASTY."
Chelsey: "Totally. 'Haha, look at this silly girl! I'm so talented.'"
Jaimie: "'I'm gonna steal her because the producers said so!'"
The battle ends, and it feels fairly clear that Avery won it. Adam and Blake both say that Avery is the definite winner, while Christina is "amazed" by Chevonne's stage presence and thinks that she is the winner (a.k.a. this was the last battle and they made Christina use her final steal so the teams would be even). Chevonne starts speaking to Christina directly, and it's awkward.
Jaimie: "Why is Chevonne talking to Christina? 'Thank you. You so get me.'"
Chelsey: "Assless chaps, man. Assless chaps. I wonder if that's how Christina chooses people ... 'Can I get this girl to wear assless chaps? Probably. PUSHIN' MY BUTTON!'"
Cee Lo agrees with his boyz and chooses Avery as the winner, but soon enough, X-Tina comes in for the steal. WHOA! SURPRISE! But Chevonne is incredibly happy, as is her family, and it's cute. She then continues to talk to Christina directly and then refers to her backstage as "one of my idols of life." Can't wait to see you in them assless chaps, gurl!
Winner: Avery Wilson
Stolen: Chevonne, Team Christina
"The Voice" airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on NBC.