For generations, American schoolchildren have learned that a penny saved is a penny earned. This week, we learned that unbelievably, this is no longer true. Because the Treasury Department's not really on top of their game to be frank and those pennies in your penny jar have more than a penny's worth of metal in them.
In fact, a penny in your pocket right now is actually worth up to 2.13 cents melted down and even with recent adjustments, those new 2007 pennies were about to see cost the government 1.73 cents to mint.
A penny saved is no longer a penny earned. Ben Franklin's wisdom is in re-write.
I'm sure there is some Democratic responsibility in this but the press release from the Treasury (Republican-led) department takes the moronic nature of this situation and kicks it right upstairs. Even the current administration must understand what this means - it's kind of a big mistake.
Because those 100 pennies aren't worth a dollar - they're worth over two bucks melted down. We need to deal with this because last time I checked, we still live in capitalist society and I'm opening up a new company - Melt My Ass Some Serious Coin, LLC. I'll buy pennies for pennies, melt them and make 100% on my money in 48 hours.
That's called ROI of the Gods. Annualized that's more than high-end Republican donors have been clearing over the past 6 years - almost. What's that? Mad Money's Jim Cramer's on line two? I'll call him back.
So what the Treasury do? Detail how they're going to fix the problem - right?
Nope. Here's the quote of the day.
"We don't want to see our pennies and nickels melted down so a few individuals can take advantage of the American taxpayer," Mint Director Edmund Moy said in a statement.
Ed, we're not talking about taking advantage of the taxpayer, I want to take advantage of your stupidity. There's a difference and let's be honest, if you can't handle penny making duties - and don't get me started about our 8 cent nickels - then you can't make laws preventing me from making dollars.
I just realized the only thing dumber than not being able to make pennies. Telling people that their pennies are actually now pennies and a half. Because frankly how long would it have been before someone had just stumbled upon this fact?
Try forever.
So what we have here is a multiple compound fracture of the brain. Screw up the making of a penny and then tell the world the most basic unit of your currency is fubared. Then try to pass a law or two saying our mistake can't count because that would be a really bad thing. Good luck.
I'm launching my company as a penny stock. I have great hopes for it.