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God's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

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Hey, everybody, God here. I may be omnipotent, but I am just as prone to taking stock as all of you, my long-suffering subjects. I trust you will find some inspiration for your own self-improvement in these, my philosophical musings, and I hope you enjoy this rare opportunity to, if you will, meet your maker.

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James Napoli is an author and humorist. More of his comedy content for the Web can be found here.