God's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

I, God, want to be a better listener, but sometimes I get so busy I can't tell the OMG in a prayer for help from the OMG in an orgasm. Makes for some awkward visitations.
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Hey, everybody, God here. I may be omnipotent, but I am just as prone to taking stock as all of you, my long-suffering subjects. I trust you will find some inspiration for your own self-improvement in these, my philosophical musings, and I hope you enjoy this rare opportunity to, if you will, meet your maker.

Stop Being So Hard On Myself

God's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

James Napoli is an author and humorist. More of his comedy content for the Web can be found here.

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