I Miss the Simpler Times When Birds Were Falling Out of the Sky

06/22/2011 03:02 pm ET | Updated Aug 22, 2011


Things were better in the good old days. Lately all we hear about is the terrible economy, our involvement in conflicts in foreign countries, our public representatives involved in embarrassing sex scandals and the increasing and bitter division between political parties that threatens to destroy the foundation of our democracy.

It wasn't like that back in the day. Everything was more innocent back then. It was a simpler time, when the only thing we had to worry about was birds falling out of the sky.

Man, those were the days, am I right?

Britney was getting set to unleash her new single; Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark had only just begun reporting on-stage mishaps; Snooki's book was released and it would still be several weeks before we would know how badly it would sell. We were happy. We were carefree. We were caught up in the halcyon days, full of promise and certain only of a bright future. No stresses about medical care, quality education or a tumbling stock market. No, the most we had to deal with was the gosh-darn birds falling out of the sky.

Oh, well. We cannot turn back the clock to those glorious, untroubled times. What we can do is never forget them. And then, in thirty years, we can send out cantankerous forwarded emails to all the fellow codgers on our cc list about how the kids today weren't even born when all the good stuff happened.

I sure feel sorry for the future generations who have missed out on that pure, guileless era of unexplained and possibly pre-apocalyptic bird deaths. They'll never have it as good as we once did.

James Napoli is an author and humorist. More of his comedy content for the web can be found here.