I Wish All These Protests Would End So I Can Focus on Trivial Crap Again

02/15/2011 12:16 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011
  • James Napoli Satirist, author of The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm


Do you have any idea how hard it is to think about Justin Bieber when people are risking their lives to end corrupt governments in so many places right now?

How the hell am I supposed to concentrate on what a douche Glenn Beck is when the brave people of Yemen, Iran and Algeria, emboldened by events in Tunisia and Egypt, are bravely standing up to the status quo?

To make matters worse, I can't shake the feeling that perhaps Jersey Shore and American Idol aren't as important as what is currently unfolding on the world stage. And this is to say nothing of how Facebook always puts a new default setting on your preferences without telling you, and now we all have to buy flat-screens that are 3-D ready even though we don't care about 3-D, and plus Charlie Sheen and everything.

Damn. History has a way of screwing up all the things that matter most in our lives, doesn't it?

And perhaps the most unsettling aspect is that it's probably going to be a while before all these socio-political conflicts are resolved. I'm going to have to get used to the struggle for a more just and fair society in faraway places trumping the real news for who knows how long? If things get really bad, I may start thinking about how budget cuts and stuff right here in America are going to make things more difficult for working people--and Lord knows I've always relied on Snooki and Lindsay Lohan to keep me from going there! :)

Well, we all just have to hope for a day when the unrest in the Middle East will be resolved and things will get better, so we can rearrange our priorities again.

Oh, my God. I hope all the corrupt governments get toppled before they start the new season of Dancing With the Stars.

James Napoli is an author and humorist. More of his comedy content for the Web can be found here.