Top Ten Benefits of a Rick Santorum Presidency

We seem to be in an anything-can-happen moment. And we must prepare for the logical outcome of that moment by being as positive as we can be about its consequences. May these thoughts provide that positivity.

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James Napoli is an author and humorist. More of his comedy content for the web can be found here.

 

 

 

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Comments

[Skaught BJ]

02:27 AM on 02/27/2012

I'm really hoping Santorum can get American women to cover their heads. As we know, men get emotional around women, especially those showing skin, and who is protecting my right to impure thoughts?

[praetorious]

10:09 PM on 02/24/2012

“President Pus? It's possible... naw, just kidding. He's insane. Hoo-hoo!

http://evawatson.squarespace.com/staying-awake/2012/2/24/dont-say-pus.html

[ColleentheDream]

09:25 PM on 02/22/2012

Take a look around. Society has gone so far downhill. It's easier to follow the "feel good" path than to stand up and do what is right. If my grandparents came back today, they would have tears flowing from their eyes. I'm going to turn the corner and become strong and stand up for the values that were instilled in me. The people that don't like Santorum are the people that realize they have lowered their values and don't want to be reminded of it.

[BMcCue7]

07:24 AM on 02/25/2012

For a lot of people, things are BETTER now than they used to be a few generations ago.

Why? Because some people actually did have the courage to stand up for what is right.

[mzrecycle]

07:50 AM on 02/25/2012

All Dems and most Repubs DON'T like Santorum. Just a few deluded far Right think he's great.

[Tmus82]

01:18 AM on 02/22/2012

Tbow in 2016

[flyinghigh0905]

02:57 PM on 03/01/2012

No.

[Tmus82]

01:17 AM on 02/22/2012

Oh Ricky if god wanted a republican president he would have made a viable candidate for the party... But he didn't ha ha ha ha

[land2341]

05:11 PM on 02/21/2012

Once upon a time Iranian woman had the world's highest literacy rate and many personal rights. Then they had a people's revolution which ushered in their own personal dark ages. Do not think it could not happen here. It is not enough to HOPE - we have to work to prevent this. The simple fact that he has gotten this far with such extreme views should make your privates pucker. If it hasn't yet, you're not paying attention.

[mzrecycle]

07:50 AM on 02/25/2012

It happened in Afghanistan as well.

[janicedow1]

06:30 PM on 02/17/2012

That was wonderful, and right on! I'll have to pass this one to my friends! Thanks, but also so glad he'll NEVER be president!

[James Napoli]

02:05 PM on 02/18/2012

Your lips to whoever's ears...thanks so much, glad you enjoyed it and thanks for spreading the word!

[themightyabealrd]

05:01 AM on 02/16/2012

And the additional benefit of having the U.S. population decrease by tens of millions as people like me move to Canada, Mexico, Europe....wherever Ricky ain't!

[T-Bow]

04:07 PM on 02/15/2012

Jon Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel and Bill Maher...three of the most unfunny and uselessly irrelevant people on the planet...Get off now!

[Dodger300]

10:57 PM on 02/15/2012

Sounds like Rep. West's "Liberals, get the HELL out of the country. And yes, I said HELL!"

Sorry to have to inform you, but America doesn't belong to you.

[Tmus82]

01:13 AM on 02/22/2012

Haha your so much funnier then they are...

[RJROW]

03:42 PM on 02/15/2012

Top 10 benefits of a Santorum Presidency:
1. a modern day crusade in the middle east.
2. the vatican moves its offices to Wasington
3. big pharma makes drug that stops gay people from being gay
4. women all quit working and start having more kids and cleaning up after their family
5. creationism becomes a constitutional amendment
6. birth control is replaced by fertility drugs at all stores
7. Santorum pass law that requires all disabled, retired, and special needs individuals to work for min wage.
8. Abolishes Obama health care, replacing it with only the privliged get treatment plan
9. all womwn in the military are forced to reclassify job status to cooking, cleaning, or supply MOS
10. Repeals all laws passed in U.S. history that protect workers, including child labor laws

[janicedow1]

06:33 PM on 02/17/2012

I would say the Vatican doesn't just move to the D.C., the Vatican takes over.

[RJROW]

06:44 PM on 02/19/2012

This throwback is so scary that voters of any and every party should be terrified of what he would do to our nation if elected. We donn't need a repeat of the middle ages, when church and state were basically the same, and the people were subjugated and repressed by both.

[Wordcommando]

01:28 PM on 02/15/2012

Napoli nails it as usual.

[James Napoli]

02:06 PM on 02/18/2012

Good words indeed coming from the commando of words!