Listen, I think it's really sweet and precious how all you people on Facebook get together to play Words with Friends. It's real fun and everything, coming up with crazy, half-baked words that you don't even know, but then you run it by the Words with Friends database and hey, presto, they accept it. Next thing you know, your so-called friend is on the other end of his or her device going, "Selcouth? Are you kidding me? That's a word?"
So, yeah, it's nice that you can be all smart and erudite with your Facebook friends and get all, like, "oh, we have so much in common because of our love of words; oh aren't we a special subset of humankind because we still value the language and everything?"
Stop kidding yourselves. Sure, it might be satisfying to picture your opponent eating your cyber dust as you strategically plan the most effective way for the tiles with the highest point values to land on the double and triple letter scores. Yes, it's pleasant to get some kind of reward out of knowing that "Chi" can also be spelled "Qi."
Wouldn't it be a hell of a lot more cathartic to just rip somebody a new one with every stinking play?
That's what Words with Enemies has done for me, and I know it can introduce you to a whole new world of word-based entertainment, too.
Half the time you're playing Words with Friends you just want to reach out and dope-slap the moron you're paired with anyway. So why not go the whole nine yards and just keep trying to out-insult each other? It's like a freeing, unencumbered game of The Dozens played on a virtual city stoop.
So get down off your intellectual high horse. Stop trying to impress people you already know with your prodigious and varied vocabulary. Pick someone who pisses you off, and arrange those tiles in such a way as to indisputably communicate how much they have irreversibly irked you.
Have a game of Words with Enemies. I guarantee you will be praying to get one of the Fs.
More of James Napoli's comedy content for the web can found here.