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James Peron

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The "Soup of Casual Sex" or "Why the Kids Are Alright"

Posted: 09/06/11 01:09 PM ET

Apparently the millennial generation, or at least most of them, "are just drifting in the cultural soup of casual sex," according to Jennifer Morse, nee Roback, a shill for the National Organization for [sic] Marriage. The exceptions not diving into this casual sex soup are "the religiously serious, college educated young adults [who] know what they are about. They are intentionally living a counter-cultural lifestyle."

The implications are that most young people are secular oriented hedonists and that the minority are "religiously serious." Morse is wrong that the young are just drifting in this "soup" she has concocted. But she is right about something. Larger and larger percentages of the young are openly rejecting religion.

A Pew Research Center report, Religion Among the Millennials, indicates that a post-Christian era is dawning on the United States, and it is most clear among the young. Pew looks at religious beliefs among the various generations of Americans. They break it down into the "Greatest," those born before 1928; the "Silent", born between 1928-45; "Boomers," 1946-64; "Gen X," 1965-1980; and "Millennials," born after 1981.

Only 5% of the Greatest say they have no religious affiliation. It is 8% for the Silent, 13% for Boomers, 20% for Gen X, and 26% for Millennials. While 81% of Americans, over the age of 30, say they are Christian, for those younger than that, the percentage drops 13 points to 68%. While it is now common for Americans of all ages to leave a religion and become unaffiliated, it is more common for young people to do so. Pew found that 18% of all young people, 18-29, have switched from affiliated to unaffiliated, whereas only 4% went in the other direction. For individuals over 30 years of age, 11% have left a religion behind to become unaffiliated.

The evangelically-inclined pollsters at the Barna Group found that "a new generation is more skeptical of and resistant to Christianity than were people of the same age just a decade ago." The young are viewing Christianity far more negatively today than previous generations did at the same age. They found "nine out of the top 12 perceptions were negative." And one thing driving this negative perception is "they believe that Christians show excessive contempt and unloving attitudes towards gays and lesbians." Of course, Morse, as a NOM operative, has been an active campaigner against equality of rights for gay people thus contributing the to very decline in religion that she laments.

But the very idea that Millennials are diving into a cultural soup of sexual hedonism is just wrong. Certainly, the Jenny Roback I knew, in both Chicago and Connecticut, was "living in sin" with her boyfriend at the time. Young people today may be more secular -- I prefer rational -- but they are also more sexually careful than the Boomers of Jenny's generation.

A National Institute for Health study finds that teens, 15-19 are relatively conservative in their sexual choices. Just over half of females said they had zero sexual partners in the previous year, while 24.2% of them said they had one sexual partner and 13.5% said they had two or more partners. The numbers were similar for males with 48.9% saying they had no partners, and 25.1% saying they had just one sexual partner. While 21% of males reported two or more partners, given the disparity between male reports and female reports, a good deal of this strikes me as adolescent male bravado.

What we have actually seen is that since Morse was in college the sexual activity rate of teens has been in fairly steady decline. "Data over the years on vaginal intercourse among never-married adolescents shows a steady decline since 1988," according to the Centers for Disease Control. But just as Morse has been abandoning her previous libertarian stands, the young of today, are picking up the values she has cast aside. They may be more conservative in practice but they more tolerant and socially liberal than previous generations.

The Public Religion Research Institute, in a report, Committed to Availability, Conflicted About Morality, found the young to be strongly libertarian in their policy prescriptions even if they are personally more conservative. Whereas only 58% of the general public believes abortion should be available in their community, 68% of the Millennials do. And 57% of the Millennials have no moral qualms about sex between people of the same gender. The report says: "Millennials strongly support gender equality and rights for gay and lesbian people and generally have more permissive attitudes towards sexuality issues." They found that 76% either supported gay marriage (57%) or civil unions (19%).

The shift in sexual values started before any misguided "abstinence" programs were pushed into state-run schools, so they aren't responsible. What we are finding is that each generation of Americans becomes more secular and more small-l libertarian in their social values, even if they become more conservative in their own behavior. Conservatives, such as Morse, may lament the state of youth culture today, but compared to her generation, I have to say that the kids are alright. As far as I can see they are adopting, in larger number than ever before, the values she once held. And I consider that pretty sensible.

 
 
 
 
 
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08:52 PM on 09/09/2011
When I was a kid, the adults didn't really want to know what we were up to. So we didn't tell them. In their ignorance, they believed we were being good.

I expect the kids, today, do the same.
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cinemaven
Mom, wife, social & political activist, writer...
09:27 PM on 09/07/2011
I grew up in the late 60's and the 70's... I was at a high school party where two teachers dispensed drugs and sex (not to me... I was a good girl, I was) and when the principal found out, he said he wished he hadn't missed the party. It was a very different time from today where something like that would be on the front page of every paper in the world.

My sons are 19 and 24 and they've done nothing but make me proud.
I hope both have healthy sexual relationships in their lives, I hope they both find love (one has found it and is getting married this year) and I hope they work to keep it.

When I think of my sons and their friends, they are much less susceptible to peer pressure than my era was. They are all great kids with a few flaws but nothing serious. The only kids in my sons peer groups who got pregnant as teens were the ones with the very conservative parents who didn't let them have sex ed and preached nothing but abstinence... coincidence? I think not!
cdianek
An antibiotic-resistant micro-bio
11:02 AM on 09/07/2011
While I sometimes wonder about the complete accuracy of a poll where anyone - children, teenagers, adults - have to self-confess to "bad" behavior, I must admit the numbers here are encouraging.

I'm a tail-end Boomer, and have two Millennial sons. While I have no intention of self-confessing bad behavior my ownself, I will admit that my sons' peer group are, as a whole, much more cautious about many more things than we were at their age. Sure they have their outliers, the dumbasses who do all kinds of stupid things, but what group doesn't? I'd like to think that, in our own family, a parenting approach directly opposite of the strict, Southern Baptist upbringing I had made them more aware of things and took a lot of the mystery out of it, as opposed to me falling headlong into a lot of "bad" things in my early adulthood.

I find it particularly interesting that while religious affiliation has declined, the subsequent "moral depravation" in the form of sexual activity has not risen. It shows that religion does not necessarily guide moral behavior, and makes me wonder if the true threat to the churches is not a bunch of hoochies running around, but less rears in the pews, and less money in the plate.
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James Peron
06:46 PM on 09/07/2011
There are always problems with polls when it comes to reporting sexual activity because people lie. Just do a poll at a good fundamentalist church asking how many are engaged in extra marital affairs and compare it to reality. But, if the same poll is done year after year you are able to judge trends, even if you can't have precise numbers. And, given the more liberal views about sex that the young have today you would think they would be less inclined to hide the facts, not more so. If previous generations were more reticent to admit the truth, and this generation is more open, then the trend is even bigger than reported.
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JudgeCCrater
From under a NJ boardwalk thanks to free Wi-Fi!
09:28 PM on 09/06/2011
"a new generation is more skeptical of and resistant to Christianity than were people of the same age just a decade ago" i.e., they are much smarter. Religion - and Christianity in particular - has become a weapon the rich use to continue to enslave the poor. With the assistance of megachurch pastors everywhere.
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StillMadMatt
Offending the right people is its own virtue.
04:48 AM on 09/07/2011
Its a good racket selling Jebus.
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
08:21 PM on 09/06/2011
As a brand, Christianity has fallen on deservedly hard times. The word once meant people who were willing to help others, accept community responsibility, and try to live genuinely kind and virtuous lives. It now means narcissistic greed, homophobia, and utter lack of compassion or community. Many of the young people who eschew religion are really eschewing the vilely debased public image, and are in fact, both spiritual and religious in their lives.
07:39 PM on 09/06/2011
Where is this "soup"?
05:43 PM on 09/06/2011
Doing research by watching popular music videos may have been the wrong approach but she enjoyed it.
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r henry
I live between concrete walls
02:28 PM on 09/09/2011
Have you seen any of the current pop music videos? I would think it would be torture.
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Querent
I just had to say that.
04:37 PM on 09/06/2011
I was brought up in a family which attended five religious services a week. I've observed so-called Christians at close range for most of my life. Most of the professing Christians I know are obvious phonies. I'd say only small minorities of church-goers are really Christians, by which I mean actual practitioners of the behaviors prescribed by Jesus, and many of those are so mystically oriented that they are barely intelligible. Modern fundamentalist Christianity is a sham. This is why mass numbers of people are leaving religion in the US.
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JudgeCCrater
From under a NJ boardwalk thanks to free Wi-Fi!
09:30 PM on 09/06/2011
Yep. Literally translated, 'christian' means "Christ-like." Most Christians have turned the word into an oxymoron, sadly.
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StillMadMatt
Offending the right people is its own virtue.
04:49 AM on 09/07/2011
Literally translated "virgin" in the language used at the time of jesus 's birth means ....unwed. Go figure.
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09:43 PM on 09/06/2011
the most hateful egregious comments and acts come from people who profess to be Christians and of the over 1000 hate groups in the country are professed ''Christians" I Jesus comes again he is going to be very angry at them
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neighborhoodmole
no one really knows who anyone is here
04:11 PM on 09/06/2011
There is a natural selection of cultures, those that promote the behavior that results in the most success of their society will win out over others. Unlike biological selection, people can change their culture and those which are flexible and willing to adopt to new conditions the fastest will succeed over those that cling to older, outdated values. In the past, abstinence from sex outside committed long term relationships was the best way to prevent disease and unwanted pregnancies. In the past half century, science and technology have given us effective and safe birth control and the knowledge to prevent STDs. Those cultures that provide accurate sex education and affordable birth control and prophylactics will win out over those that cling to the previously successful, but now uncompetitive culture of no fun! Younger people tend to adopt to cultural change more easily. Educated young people in Europe enjoy their early adulthood having safe sex without hangups, allowing their society to benefit from their labors without the drain of early, unplanned families.
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StillMadMatt
Offending the right people is its own virtue.
04:50 AM on 09/07/2011
Gotta love Europe.
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thejazz
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.
04:05 PM on 09/06/2011
as a gen-xer with a millennial son, I must say he is a hell of a lot more sensible than I ever was. And more careful sexually as well (My wife and I are very honest and open about sex with our 3 kids). Non of our kids have any real use for religion, even though we have taken them to church. We haven't bad mouthed religion, but haven't promoted it either. Now we just do not go unless it is a special occasion, and then it is more of a social community thing rather than religious.

Having lived in different western countries, with regard to the religion, the United States seems to be a generation behind everyone else. Other countries are giving up on religiousness much faster than the U.S. Shows you the power of the religious in the U.S., and what they feared most. People making up their own mind. Let's hope it continues.
06:08 PM on 09/06/2011
You try to present a balanced view by your family towards religion. You are transparent in your venom towards religion.
Also, people don't "make up their own mind", especially children. They are taught things. When parents don't teach them about any subject including religion and faith, others will. Your kids learned from you that religion was not important. They then learned from peers, teachers, movie and music stars, authors, etc, etc., and filled in the blanks.
07:28 PM on 09/06/2011
Judging by my own experience as a child I can say you are wrong. Children are much smarter than you give them credit for, especially teens, they do and always have made up their own mind. Some people are just more inclined to follow the herd, perhaps you count yourself in that group. However, your own failings are not an excuse to project said failings and views onto others.
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AdamWest1313
Hardcore Agnostic
11:18 PM on 09/06/2011
My parents raised me to be catholic. I had only catholic friends. I became a hardline agnostic at 12.

Nobody taught me to doubt.

And venom? So anyone who has anything bad to say about religion must have "venom towards religion"?
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cinemaven
Mom, wife, social & political activist, writer...
09:39 PM on 09/07/2011
I so agree with this
My dad told us that religion is usually an accident of birth but in the bible, all the great prophets went on their own spiritual journey to define their faith so he set us on our own journey. I have a sis who's Catholic, an Anglican sis and a Presbyterian sis and I'm spiritual but don't believe in organized religion. We raised my sons the way I was raised and they both have read many of the major books of faith. One is an atheist (and probably the most Christian person you'll ever meet because he's kind and good and caring and giving) and the other is currently Buddhist with the same wonderful attributes as his brother. Both are so responsible, honest, funny and a lot more sensible than we ever were and we couldn't be more proud of them.
03:33 PM on 09/06/2011
While I don't think religion has anything to do with it, today's youths are lazy, disrespectful, spoiled little brats. And the worst part about it... they aren't even smart enough to recognize it.
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James Peron
04:13 PM on 09/06/2011
Wow, with evidence like that, maybe I should retract? On second thought, not. Remarks about "today's youth" that are so broadly insulting is really the youth equivalent of racism. To say that "youth" or "blacks" or "gays" are such and such, is really uncalled for, and almost always, if not always, not supported by evidence.
04:59 PM on 09/06/2011
So you are clearly one of them. Next.
05:04 PM on 09/06/2011
James - Well said! I often become quite frustrated as well how acceptable it has become to stereotype, bad-mouth, condemn entire generations as if there's a one size fits all definition.

Thanks for the informative article.
06:16 PM on 09/06/2011
You make a sweeping generalization like that sir, and you're offering a clear invitation to the dance. Evidence please.
07:56 PM on 09/06/2011
(continued from my last comment) my future kids and the now new children my friends have, are being raise with the same basic principles of different religions. you know... be kind, dont steal, dont lie and all of the other good lessons yet we watched (our whole lives) as people sat in judgement of everyone else (at the same time they were abusing kids, cheating on their spouses, embezzling money, spitting out hate for other people that they didnt agree with= thats a big one!!) without putting the mirror to themselves.
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bernikitty
single mom of 3, nursing student
03:33 PM on 09/06/2011
there you liberals go again, with your facts and data, when all that really counts is finger-wagging, bible-thumping, righteous indignation,and a longing for the "good ole days"!
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James Peron
04:16 PM on 09/06/2011
Well, I'm a liberal but only in the classical sense. If I had to be labeled with a modern term I'm closest to libertarian. I am happily liberal is the Adam Smith "Theory of Moral Sentiments" kind of way, or even the tradition of Moorfield Storey the great anti-war, free market, defender of the rights of African-Americans (he was first president of the NAACP). I am a left-libertarian in that I think social freedom and civil liberties need a heavy emphasis and that the corporate/political alliance is bad for America, but still, when things are added up, probably a libertarian. And facts matter to me, if freedom is consistent with reality we need to know it.
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bernikitty
single mom of 3, nursing student
05:45 PM on 09/06/2011
excellent article.

i bought my eight year old a book that spelled out the facts of life. we read it together and i answered her questions as openly as i possibly could. (i brought the book when she came home one day and told me how her friend told her babies were made--it was hilariously erroneous).

after we read the book i told her that this was information that i was just giving to her, was just for her and not for her to share. that her friend's parents would decide when to give this information to them.

'abstinence only' is still king here in alabama, providing your child comprehensive sex education is viewed by many religious conservatives here as giving them license "to swim in the soup" as you put it.

that is just sad. the reality is that no one asks their parent's premission to have their first sexual experience and we need to make sure they have the knowledge to make good choices and protect themselves.
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
03:19 PM on 09/06/2011
it's going to be a long tough slog before the country outlives the christianists and their near stranglehold on the repubs. ( what the big corporations let them have that is)
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neighborhoodmole
no one really knows who anyone is here
04:50 PM on 09/06/2011
I don't think it will take that long. 50 years ago, racist attitudes in the South seemed intractable. Then there was a cultural shift helped by the mass media and a growing visibility of blacks in mainstream society. I grew up in Florida when bathrooms were still segregated by race, then there was a period of uncomfortable integration, followed by tentative acceptance of some blacks that people knew "were OK" then most people stopped being prejudiced when most people around them stopped. So cultural changes can and do occur!
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
06:36 PM on 09/06/2011
I "pray" you are right! and you make a good point.
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02:10 PM on 09/06/2011
I think young people today are losing faith, because of the world they see around them. The America that they were taught was so great, is now crumbling, and they're seeing that those who played by the rules all these years are now getting shafted. I don't blame them for their anger and pessimism.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
03:42 AM on 09/07/2011
Fanned and faved. I'm no longer young (58) and I can see why young people are alienated and angry.

My journey from Christianity happened when my eyes were opened to all the hate and hypocrisy I witnessed around me. I saw people who readily condemned me as gay and then, almost inevitably they turned out to be pedophiles. Others were just incredibly mean-spirited with no love whatsoever for their fellow human beings. I can honestly understand why the young are leaving religion behind.
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psnyder325
Yep, I'm a Socialist. Deal.
02:58 PM on 09/07/2011
Ioan --- I had a similar experience. I was a minister and, over the years, became increasingly disgusted with the Church and its hypocrisy. While straight and married, I had lots of gay and lesbian friends....and got tired of the drumbeat of hatred from many so-called "Christian" bodies. While I still believe in God and respect the words and teachings of Jesus, I could no longer keep calling myself a Christian, and couldn't stand to darken the door of a Church anymore. I am sorry to hear of your difficult and condemnatory experience. The Church is SUPPOSED to be peddling Love, but I had had enough of "Christian Love," and you, apparently, did too.
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James Peron
06:59 PM on 09/07/2011
I don't see any anger or pessimism reported from the young. I see them pursuing, for the most part, rational values for their own lives and being tolerant of others.
12:56 PM on 09/06/2011
I know it's very true of myself and my peers (I'm in the 'Millenials' generation, whatever the hell that means).

I waited until I was in my twenties, and even since I have had a total of three partners. We were all cautious, spoke carefully about what we wanted, and have been honest with eachother about how we've felt on such issues.

What I've found most consistent is actually the lies the right likes to tell about these matters. Take for example Morse's comments on 'sexual soup' (now there's a horrifying image), but also the odious and obviously false 'rainbow parties' (look that up, I won't go into details). It's a never ending series of hit jobs and exaggerated sob stories that, damn the facts, are aimed at digging into peoples' emotional responses and not to target their reasoning minds.
05:39 PM on 09/06/2011
Great comment.
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psnyder325
Yep, I'm a Socialist. Deal.
06:21 PM on 09/06/2011
LOL on the rainbow parties. When I was a kid, there was a rumor started that smoking banana peels would make you high. For a while grocers wouldn't sell kids bananas or ask "You gonna eat 'em or smoke 'em?" The old fogeys have to have SOMETHING to have moral outrage about or their whole religious narrow values system collapses. Without moral outrage, there is no need for superstitions.
01:04 PM on 09/07/2011
I'd agree, with the revision "without moral outrage or ignorance of reality." Not knowing what causes epilepsy for example, that's a damn fine reason to believe in demons for some people. Not knowing what causes albinism seems like a good reason to assume these people are witches in some african countries, leading to brutal murders. They don't understand reality, and as a result we have horror. It's part of why I get so disgusted and to a degree angry that creationists for example try to impose their idiocy on the public school system.