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James Peron

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Why I Gave Up Christmas

Posted: 12/22/11 03:56 PM ET

Like most kids, I grew up celebrating Christmas and I didn't give it up when I became an adult. Even though I gave up religion and a belief in a god, I still celebrated in Christmas.

What I mean is I continued with what Christmas had become in the modern world -- it was a time of pure joy. I even confess that I love the commercialism of Christmas. I tend to think people are far less lethal when doing business with one another -- provided, of course, transactions are voluntary.

The old pagan ritual of gift giving is one worthy of preservation. It is shows people you value them, that they are important to you. It celebrates those who reflect our highest values -- the people we love.

Like many people in the West, Christmas lost any religious significance for me, but I kept celebrating. I would wish others a "Merry Christmas" and thank them when they wished the same to me. I loved the idea that the holiday emphasized the joyous aspects of life and wasn't steeped in a message of "repent or perish." Christmas was people at their best.

Remember by this time I was a non-believer and like most non-believers wasn't offended by secular pleasures associated with the holiday. I drew the line where I think the Founders drew the line: Government should not be involved in promoting or attacking religion. It should be neutral.

I thought the Constitutional separation of church and state should be upheld. While I think there are flaws in the Constitution, it is fundamentally a decent document and one I wished the politicians took a bit more seriously.

I don't want government-financed school teachers leading prayer; using tax funds to promote religion. While Nativity scenes don't offend me, the use of public land, which means public monies, does. Keep government out of the business of promoting religion and I'm fine.

Outside of that, I was happy to celebrate the holiday. Yes, I grew tired of constant bad remakes of old Christmas songs, and the endless barrage of awful television shows with mandatory Christmas themes, but none of it caused me to drop Christmas.

I remember lugging the Christmas tree home -- and not one of these fake trees. I got a real one. Living in a flat overlooking Castro Street in San Francisco meant carrying the tree. The two of us would walk several blocks carrying the tree and taking it up the stairs to the third floor. We had a large living room with a Bay window overlooking the street; opposite was a marble fireplace. We'd put the tree just to the left of the fireplace. With high Victorian ceilings, there was never a problem of space. It would be decorated with lights and ornaments, with gifts placed underneath.

When it was all over, we'd chop the tree into small pieces and use it in the fireplace to heat the flat. It was a holiday ritual I enjoyed.

Then I stopped. I just went cold turkey with Christmas. I stopped sending cards, didn't decorate and only gave gifts to the one person that mattered most to me. I also stopped saying "Merry Christmas" and started to feel insulted when others wished it to me.

What changed, was that cultural conservatives started harping about an imaginary war on Christmas. They started making the merger of religion and state part of their agenda to "save America." When challenged about using state funds to promote religion they proclaimed a "culture war."

As part of that culture war, they staked an exclusive claim on Christmas, and insisted that the religious aspect be put first and foremost. Christmas, as a holiday, existed before Christ. It was the Catholic Church that proclaimed, with no evidence, that the already-existing holiday would be deemed the birthday of Jesus. Christmas, however, never lost the non-religious aspect or the joy.

But the Christian right claimed it as their own. If a chain store dared wish people a "Happy Holiday," in deference to the reality that different people celebrate different holidays and not all their customers were Bible-believing fundamentalists, the Religious Right would wage war on them. They would be denounced from pulpits, in badly written right-wing newsletters and on hysterical right-wing web sites and radio shows. Boycotts would be announced. Christmas became a proxy for the right wing's culture war.

If you said "Merry Christmas," it was accepted by them that you wanted to adopt their agenda on so-called family issues. It was now a way of expressing support for government laws against abortion and gay people. It became a term that had an entire agenda behind it -- and this libertarian-minded individual felt uncomfortable with that.

So I stopped celebrating Christmas. The Grinch from the religious right turned a holiday I loved into part of their hate-filled culture war; I no longer felt comfortable celebrating it. I didn't want anyone to think I supported any part of the moralistic crusade. I'm a small-government guy. I like depoliticized markets and property rights and have little confidence in political control of most things. But I don't share the small-minded prejudices and bigotries that infest the Religious Right the way fleas cover a wild dog. Their agenda is not mine.

The ornaments are gone. There are no lights up, no cards sent. I don't wish people a "Merry Christmas," but will wish them a "Happy Holiday". And when they wish "Merry Christmas" to me, I thank them pleasantly, inform them I'm not a Christian and wish them a
Happy Holiday."

Who would have imagined people so hell-bent on saving Christmas would be the very ones who destroyed it for me.

Happy Holidays, and I mean it too.

 
 
 
Like most kids, I grew up celebrating Christmas and I didn't give it up when I became an adult. Even though I gave up religion and a belief in a god, I still celebrated in Christmas. What I mean is I...
Like most kids, I grew up celebrating Christmas and I didn't give it up when I became an adult. Even though I gave up religion and a belief in a god, I still celebrated in Christmas. What I mean is I...
 
 
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03:39 PM on 12/23/2011
Thank you for sharing this. I am a Christian who does not celebrate xmas for the simple reason, that it is not truly a 'Christian' holy day or feast day. What I have always found weird is why give me a present when you don't even know if I am alive? It's fake. And I don't believe GOD wants fake people. You know who gives me the hardest time about not celebrating? You guessed it....other 'Christians".
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gneep
if it wasn't always the same, it'd be different
01:09 PM on 12/23/2011
I celebrate the most ridiculous holiday in existence......Fractosh....(it includes Toads) no kidding it is true.......
11:57 AM on 12/23/2011
Christmas is a highly exaggerated event, even for Christianity. The holiest day in the Christian year is Easter to celebrate the mythic rise of Jesus. I don't celebrate it as a religious event either as I find the whole build up to it highly offensive and artificial. Shouldn't people foster peace and goodwill all year round and not just that one day of the year? Santa Claus is not real, children. And the original "Christmas tree" had to do with hanging victims on pine trees with their entrails strewn over the branches, and this is what the Catholic Church chose to suborn to convert locals? Yuck. The right wing fundamentalists can have it, in its original version...it's more their taste anyway. Happy Holidays is the only sensible thing to say.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
AntiClast
If it ain't broke, don't break it!
10:54 AM on 12/23/2011
It's really ironic that Christians hooked the winter solstice celebration and then complain that there's too much partying and not enough Jesus.

It's a cold and dark time of year in the northern hemisphere, live it up. Put Saturn back into Saturnalia.
10:34 AM on 12/23/2011
Hi, James, and welcome to Hanukah!!! It's a great holiday - and a good percentage of the people who celebrate aren't at all religious. Many even have a tree. You get to eat special foods, give gifts, play games and smile. What's not to like?
Of course, you could go with Diwali, but in America you'd be slightly out of step, timewise, with the majority. Or Kwanza. Nothing wrong with Solstice!
Or you can simply continue to enjoy YOUR holiday YOUR way until the silly, silly people go away - as they will.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Shauni Waterdragon
Out to lunch on several levels.
09:45 AM on 12/23/2011
As a Wiccan I celebrate Yule on December 21st, but as the majority of Wiccans do, I also celebrate Christmas, for the same reasons you speak of. Your point is well taken, and I agree that the aggressive, in-your-face insistence of the Christian Right Wing to force a theological system on our country has really soured the idea of Peace on Earth and Goodwill to ALL Men in their celebrations.

The War on Christmas has nothing to do with religious faith and everything to do with political power. It is possible to continue to celebrate Christmas if you keep your personal beliefs and traditions to the front and refuse to be influenced by those who use Christmas as a tool. A pox on them! Don't let them make you feel bitterness over the loss of something special. Remember the true meaning of Christmas is love, peace and brotherhood, and embrace it! And know that in the end a lump of coal will always be waiting in the stocking of those bad boys and girls who want to ruin it for everyone else! Blessed be.
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RC Hindle
"Power isn't all that money buys"
08:17 AM on 12/23/2011
I sorry that the author has "given up" on Christmas. I'm Buddhist (the only one in my family) but I still celebrate Christmas for the same reasons the author described in paragraphs 2 and 3. Yes, there is much about the holiday that could use changed. But because others have used the holiday for their own political purposes, doesn't mean (at least to me) that it's all bad and should be discarded. The idea of "Peace on Earth, good will toward men" is as fine a human aspiration as there is. Let those who hate do their thing, but I will continue to celebrate another faith's holy day because the original idea is one that is so...........human.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Stephen Stafford
Be the answer to somebody's prayer!
06:19 AM on 12/23/2011
Silliness personified. Now people are giving up holidays they did not celebrate, and announcing that they are no longer making a mockery of others' religious and cultural celebrations.

No moment of silence, but we can sing a verse or two of "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina" for Peron?
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James Peron
06:44 AM on 12/23/2011
How was this a holiday I did not celebrate? I am amazed when a total stranger has the audacity to tell me what I was doing.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Stephen Stafford
Be the answer to somebody's prayer!
07:26 AM on 12/23/2011
Christmas celebrates Christ's birth. I may be incorrect, however, I thought the article said you do not believe in Christ. I do not understand how you can celebrate Christ's birth when you do not believe in Christ.

Is there some error in whole or part in my understanding of your beliefs? My reading was that you rejected the religion and then later rejected the holiday. The Christmas holiday, in my view, has no meaning if you do not believe in Christ.

I am responding audaciously to your audacious assertions. What part of your assertions did I misunderstand?
05:38 AM on 12/23/2011
Glad to hear that you stopped.

You were belittling the greatest gift to humankind. It's not a "just be happy" holiday.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
James Peron
06:45 AM on 12/23/2011
Of course, you know Christ was not born in December. The evidence of shepherds in the fields indicates spring or summer. No one knows. The old holiday of celebrating the winter solstice was converted into a Christian holiday as part of the Vatican's attempt to co-opt non-Christian days and given them a new Christian meaning. You can't find any historical evidence that Jesus was born in December.
07:05 AM on 12/23/2011
We are NOT talking about a date. Even today, the Eastern orthodox church does not recognize Christmas in December.
05:17 AM on 12/23/2011
The Word of God says "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8

If Jesus Christ and His birth as a gift to us was the true reason for our celebration within our hearts, then Christmas won't change. When we see others led astray by materialism, we enlighten out of love for humanity as He did with us. Like His shepherd parable searching for that lost sheep, the Spirit of Christ within us moves us to bring them back to the fold. Like home. Not to a holiday.

Reportedly, there are about 2.1 billion Christians, the last I checked. If only 10% worked to do this faithfully each year, materialism as a focus wouldn't stand a chance. LOVE is much more powerful.

Just a few weeks ago, I recall listening to the story of Steve Job's pain from being adopted thus feeling abandoned. Billions and success as #1 didn't fill the void the love of Christ can when you truly know Him. The Christmas season then becomes to you as it should. NOTHING can destroy it.
04:15 AM on 12/23/2011
Ah, indeed this whole war on christmas is dumb. I'm also a non-believer and have been for a long, long time. We still celebrate christmas but it's really only because I have five sons. Once they are grown and out of the house I'm sure i'll have grand children and still celebrate it but only for them.

One thing I don't get is how is it "wrong" for a store to put happy holidays instead of merry christmas? By putting merry christmas they are excluding all but the christians, which apparently is a terrible, terrible thing. When you say happy holidays it includes all faiths, beliefs and non-beliefs. Is that really such a bad thing? apparently so.

oh and i do find it funny how so uneducated many of the christians are when it comes to the origins of christmas. but then again, as a non-believer I always have known more about other religions than my friends who seclude themselves to one sect.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lisa SpomerKrasnoff
02:41 AM on 12/23/2011
I know the feeling. And Tim Tebow is almost turning me against football too!

Nah, still love my Saints!
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LMPE
I connect the most dissimilar things
01:46 AM on 12/23/2011
As it so happens, there IS a war on Christmas taking place, but it's not the one that Bill O'Reilly claims exists. The commercialization of Christmas is the most obvious aspect, but laying off millions of people and/or cutting their benefits, often forcing them to go into debt just to pay medical bills, is another.
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Vapula
Failure is not an option
01:20 AM on 12/23/2011
25 December the celebration of Sol Invictus.
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Vapula
Failure is not an option
01:18 AM on 12/23/2011
I've gone one step further: I've given up on all religion. Religion should be a force for good but it is more a force of evil. I can do without that.