Thanks for the Warning GOP; We'll Keep That in Mind!

You've got to give real credit to these sensible, noble Republicans, who, forced to watch their presidential candidate's campaign begin an ignoble nose-dive, have been gracious enough to warn American voters against the dangers of letting the Democrats gain control of both houses of Congress as well. Just this past weekend, the RNC, campaign co-chair Tom Ridge, pundits like David Frum, and even ol' John McCain himself, lined up to wisely and generously counsel us to "balance" the increasingly likely Presidency of Barack Obama with a solid crop of pragmatic conservatives in Congress, and avoid the potential nightmare of "one-party rule."

Well, I just wanna say, thanks fellas. That sure is admirable of you -- real "Country First" stuff. After all, just imagine the cataclysmic consequences if both the White House and Congress were controlled by Democrats. Things could really get bad in this great land of ours: why, we might even see a steep, historic plunge in housing prices, a precipitous drop in consumer confidence and a plummeting, out-of-control stock market. Without the all-important "checks and balances" provided by sturdy, real-world Republican senators and congressmen, we might even find ourselves overstretched in a couple of ill-advised wars around the globe, with a trigger-happy and arrogant foreign policy, which could do irreparable damage to our image globally. Gosh, we can't let that happen. Things are going so swimmingly!

And just imagine the devastation to our environment should there not be enough eco-friendly Republicans around to provide forward-thinking leadership on renewable energy and protection of our wildlife and coastlines. Jeez Louise, let's not be forced to dodge a bullet here, people; are you really going to let Harry "Class Struggle" Reid and Nancy "The Bolshevik" Pelosi run wild in the legislative streets for the next two years? Think of the dangers: Without a strong Republican counterweight, Congress might well get constantly bogged down by obstruction, in-fighting and filibustering, and that would surely begin to deteriorate the sterling national identity and public confidence that Congress has thoughtfully crafted for the last eight years.

Most of all, imagine the terrible toll on all the poor Joe the Plumbers out there should Barack Obama's neo-Marxist tax code get passed by a Leninist-leaning, "tax-and-spend" Congress. Mr. Wurzelbrachelbacher would be forced by these "redistributionistas" to accept a significant break on his taxes, plus receive tax credits for every new job his (admittedly fictitious) plumbing firm creates; and I'm sure you know where that road leads: making sure that every American profits when the country does well, not just the already fabulously rich. Yep; you heard it: "spreading the wealth around." Who ever heard of a progressive tax structure (besides McCain's hero Teddy Roosevelt)? Menshevik madness! Talk about a Red Scare; where's Michelle Bachman when we need a "real," "pro-American" hero?

So rather than rail against these sober, well-meaning Republicans -- especially those world-weary conservative pundits who are beginning to admit probable defeat, even as they "warn" against the dangers of a Dem-deluge -- let's be sure to thank them in advance for looking out for us and saving us from driving ourselves over a Trotskyite cliff. These buttoned-downed truth agents, from Bill Kristol to Charles Krauthammer, have clearly done their historic homework, and they simply wouldn't want the country to get off of the excellent track that we've been on since St. George so convincingly slew the Dragon Gore back in 2000. Look; after all the great, unselfish advice they've given us over the years -- on free-market economics, unilateral foreign policy, the response to Hurricane Katrina, caring for the environment, and the urgency of maintaining America's "essential" Christian values -- we'd be doggone crazy not to heed their sage counsel this time around.

Comments

[Dyami]

04:14 PM on 11/03/2008

dig your message but a special shout-out to how it was crafted. Wading through myriad blogs, articles and asundry flotsam online I crave writing which meets some fairly demanding criteria: fresh nuances, biting but not caustic humor, historical and literary perspectiv­e, superb editing and brevity! My hat is off to you James Rotondi.

[rrotondi]

12:37 PM on 11/03/2008

Thank you! The situation is so egregious in so many ways you would think the Republican­s
would have the class to just hang their heads and mutter apologies. No, they put up another couple
of relatively ignorant, gun-toting cowboy types.

The only appropriat­e reaction to this election choice is a landslide for Obama and Democrats everywhere­! And I am not a registered Democrat!!­!

[linndrum]

12:00 PM on 11/03/2008

Great piece! At this point, it's difficult to imagine what the conservati­ves are trying to conserve. :)
- Roger Linn

[TikkunOlam]

09:49 AM on 11/03/2008

Here, here!

[James Rotondi]

11:49 PM on 11/02/2008

Yes indeed. Can you imagine the nerve, that after selling the country down the drain for a decade and clogging up our national arteries, these so-called grown-ups in the conservati­ve base still have the audacity (The Audacity of "Nope"!) to tell us that, to maintain its "integrity­," we need a system that includes their "checks and balances"! It's amazing that they can't simply own their own failure. Do they think anyone even cares for their advice at this point?

Your comments are most welcome. Thanks for reading. JR

[lushnorooz]

09:28 PM on 11/02/2008

Ha!

Yes, what a laugh. After everything that could possibly go wrong having already gone wrong with the Republican­s at the helm, that a Democratic majority is "dangerous­" and should be prevented by "responsib­le" citizens. A pathetic last ditch effort to get even a few seats.

This piece would not be so funny if the Repubs weren't so behind in the polls. Glad the robocalls and other dirty tricks don't seem to be helping. Thank you Mr. Rotondi for rounding up in this witty piece all the contributi­ng factors to the damage done by the Bush Admin over the last 8 years.

[powersdem23]

07:49 PM on 11/02/2008

Totally pisses me off that they think we're dumb enough to listen to them all over again. Amen Sir. Maybe we can right the ship before we all fall overboard.

[hippynanainblingland]

02:56 PM on 11/02/2008

Well said!

[SGDBrooklyn]

02:48 PM on 11/02/2008

Thank you James Rotondi for (rightly) reminding us that we have few good things to lose if we end up with a Democratic president and Democratic majorities in the House and Senate. It is the one configurat­ion that will allow much needed changes to the GOP dominated status quo to actually happen on the scale it needs to.

What happens with a GOP lead in the House and/or Senate? Nothing. Absolutely nothing that promises reform of conservati­ve policies (think back to Clinton's second term). You can't have your cake, and you can't eat it either. Good bills and new programs dry up and disappear. In 2012, we'll have swing voters unhappy with an seemingly uneffectiv­e administra­tion.

Open the gates, vote Democratic in all races, that's the way to truly support real change.

[powersdem23]

02:18 AM on 11/03/2008

very well put comment. I hope with all my heart that we can make some of these things happen and quickly before we damage our country, economy, and reputation more (not to mention how much we've damaged the world at large).