THE BLOG
01/10/2013 05:06 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Two Days in March

When will the right-wing conservative coalition and the United States government get out of my bedroom? I didn't invite them in, and God knows I don't want to go into their bedrooms. The right-wing conservative coalition continuously slams LGBT people for "pushing the homosexual agenda" while they are trying to force their agenda on us. I want them to stop!

And even more importantly, what business is it of three women and six men who wear black robes to decide whether or not a United States citizen of age has the right to marry another United States citizen of age? Equal protection under the law is already guaranteed under the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution, and the basic rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are guaranteed under the United States Declaration of Independence. So please, get out of my bedroom, home, life. I didn't invite you in, and I want you to go away.

It should be noted, in order to be transparent, that I was raised in a Christian home and, as a child, went to a church that preached damnation. I went on to attend a Methodist college where I was required to take six hours of religion -- one of the best things to ever happen to me. I learned that there are many different types of religion and spiritual people, and that I had a right to decide for myself what I would believe. As my education progressed, I went through various phases of belief and nonbelief, never once trying to force any of those on anyone else. To this day I feel that I am on a spiritual journey.

Today my belief centers around there being a god, a higher power, an energy force or what have you that surrounds us at all times. In many ways it is similar to the idea of the god of many religions, where that god knows what we are doing at all times, only my god doesn't judge me or require me to force my belief on anyone else. My god, like me, is content to allow others to live their lives as equals and to the fullest of their potential and happiness -- like the U.S. Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution.

However, at the end of March (my birthday week), the United States Supreme Court will hear not one but two days of arguments over laws affecting my marriage -- to a man I have been with for over 33 years. The first case deals with California's constitutional amendment forbidding marriage equality (this will impact our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as guaranteed under the United States Declaration of Independence), and the second deals with the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) that denies my husband and me the right to obtain federal benefits available to other married couples who happen to be of the opposite sex (this deals with equal protection under the law per the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution). Yes, these are two days that could undermine the very ground on which our country was founded, two days that could establish apartheid in the United States by creating a separate class of United States citizens by denying LGBT citizens their full rights.

Think for one minute about our lesbian and gay military personnel and the impact that DOMA has on them even in the absence of "don't ask, don't tell." There are husbands and wives of military personnel who are denied military-issued IDs because our federal government doesn't recognize them, because of DOMA. These IDs are an essential part of military life, for they allow people who possess them to get on base and access the commissary and child care, among other benefits taken for granted by the same people who deny those benefits to same-sex couples. For two days in March, one of which will address DOMA, we could see so much of what we have gained lost because nine people in black robes, for some unknown reason, have the right to determine whether or not the spouses of our gay service people have the same rights as all other American citizens. This is frightening to me.

Since when does running the country have anything to do with social issues? It doesn't and shouldn't. My marriage has no impact on anyone else's marriage. It serves to strengthen the social fabric by offering a stable environment in which two loving people share their lives. To be denied over 1,000 federal laws that protect married people in this country is to treat us as a disparate class. How sad it is that we still treat our LGBT military personnel as a disparate class while they give their lives defending our country.

So I ask again: What right do the right-wing conservative coalition and the Unites States Supreme Court have in my bedroom? Better yet: How would you feel if your marriage (your love for another human being) were on the line and could be dissolved, discredited or shunted to a second-class-citizen level? I know how I feel about the fact that, for two days in March, nine people in black robes will get together to hear arguments as to whether or not my marriage should be protected: I feel disgusted, violated and angry. I'm also scared, and that is one emotion that I thought I had put behind me.

Imagine this happening to you, if you will. How would you feel? I am confident that you would feel the same way I do.

Let's hope (and pray, if you will) that the Supreme Court of the United States is not so far behind public opinion and will make what I consider to be the right decision: to grant LGBT Americans equal protection under the law as granted under the Constitution. I have no desire to wait any longer or turn back the clock. Let me know what you think.

Subscribe to the Queer Voices email.
Get all of the queer news that matters to you.