"I Want to Be Dick Armey's Wife"

A barrage of requests to marry Former Republicker* House Majority Leader Dick Armey have surfaced following his remarks to Slate's Joan Walsh on the January 28th broadcast of Hardball with Chris Matthews.

While debating the possible failure or success of the stimulus package passed by the Democratic majority in the House, Armey said to Walsh, "I'm so damn glad you could never be my wife [because] I surely wouldn't have to listen to that prattle from you every day," adding "That's what I'm talking about -- she's making a political malarkey here." He also repeatedly insisted that Walsh "give it a rest" when she reminded the Hardball audience how Armey's economic strategies have repeatedly failed.

Host Chris Matthews and another guest, Bob Herbert of The New York Times, called Armey's sexist remarks out of line, and Herbert demanded an apology to Walsh, Matthews and the Hardball audience.

However, several women have come forward expressing their desire to become the next Mrs. Dick Armey.

"Who wouldn't want to marry Dick Armey?" asked Joanna McDonald. "I would never have to think for myself again. It doesn't matter that all of his decisions are bad. I wouldn't have to make any!"

Another woman, Beth Franklin, said that becoming Mrs. Armey would give her the chance to catch up on some reading. "Sure, being Dick Armey's wife may have its setbacks, but if he doesn't think I'm meant to speak my mind, then I can just kinda sit back and read Twilight all day."

Even men are trying to get in on the action. Michael Jameson says, "I just want to see if he'll say something homophobic too. Oh, wait, he's done that already."**

Though some budding female political commentators, like seven-year-old Chloe Hanks, have seen their dreams of becoming the next Mrs. Armey fade away. "I always wanted to be a public speaker and marry Dick Armey, but Mr. Armey doesn't like girls talking. Now I'll never be able to marry him." Little Chloe tried to speak again, but could not hold back her tears.

The desire for these women to become Dick Armey's wife comes as a shock to some, especially as the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act is about to become law. But while the Republicker Party continues to gnash their teeth over losing the election and scrounge for someone to blame, some women have decided that the current role of the formerly "grand" old party of the former Congressman is more ideal for their economically depressed lives. Says Franklin, "I figure maybe it's time to stop whining about my problems, sit back and be irrelevant for a little while."

*Apparently, since the GOP are in the mood to act like children, they are now almost constantly referring to the "Democrat Party." Until they knock it off, I'm referring to them as the "Republicker Party." I can be immature too.

**"My mother says that in the 59 years since being married to my father, no one had ever called her Elsie Fag." -- Congressman Barney Frank, in response to Texas Republican Dick Armey's claim that, his reference to Barney Frank as "Barney Fag" was a mere mispronunciation.

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Comments

[Paw1]

I wish I had a cool name like Dick Armey...

[swellsoire]

I know! What an appropriately name! He must have bitten his mother on his way out of her birth canal. I chuckle every time I hear his name mentioned. It generates the mental image of an army of male genitalia rigidly goose-stepping through Poland.

[WyomingJack]

I'm from Wyoming where the men are all men and the sheep are all scared. I want to be Dick Army's wife.

Love ya,
Jack

[Badger84]

Thanks Jamie, I've learned a new and useful word today: republicker. (I refuse to use capital letters.)

[OtayPanky]

Every once in a while you get a real nugget out of Hardball. People lose the facade and start foaming at the mouth in public, just like they do in private.

Armey was awesomely idiotic.

Good times!

[BuzzingAlong]

Think about the kind of person and man Dick Army is and you begin to imagine the type of women who would marry someone like him.

I am now begining to understand what kind of women marry republicans.

[kissmygrits]

hahaha. This is HILARIOUS. And that guy is s c u m tastic.

[mybelovedcountry]

Democrats have to milk that tape for all it is worth...an­d the pugs don't stand a chance with women's vote.
The lady from salon was more articulate,more informed and sharper than the so-called congress man. Shame he had to put her down in that manner.The­y should be made to pay dearly....­women are you in the house!

[Wigelah]

This was far and away one of the most outlandishly sexist happenings lately. It was bad enough that he kept telling her to give it a rest but he had to be cartoonishly repugnant. He is a vile and repulsive moronic sexist monster. He made me sick during that interview and without a doubt he didn't accidently mispronounce anything. His lack of respect is like a giant light shining on his cockroach words. I might have to move to wherever it is that he is from so I can vote against him. And, good job to Chris Matthews, for immediately standing up for Joan. That did not go unappreciated.

[Yurdelite]

He is from Texas and you do not want to move there with the likes of the Bushes--two Georges, Phil Gramm (mental recession), Dick Armey and Tom Delay. A cast of republican th ugs...

[senseandnonsense]

Republicants is pretty good!

[Myshkin57]

I don't get why this isn't the scandal of the day. I saw the exchange as it aired and was shocked.

[Andrew Huston]

Republicker. I love it! I have grown so tired of hearing Democrat Party. When this happens, why don't Mathews, Stephanopolis, David Gregory , etc. look at these people and say "Oh grow up. How can anyone take you seriously if you can't even use your opponents proper name."

P.S. For years I thought we should refer to the GOP as Republicants, cause they can't get anything done.

[WyomingJack]

Good name. Obama heads the party of "Yes We Can" and the GOP is the "Republica­n'ts." I like it.