To: McCain-Palin, Re: McCain-Palin - I Am Not a Moron

10/03/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

I would never claim to be an expert in anything, but I can definitely say I am not a complete and total moron. (Despite what you may read in the comments sections of some past blogs of mine.) But I was rather insulted -- and many people should be -- by the pick of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as Sen. John McCain's running mate. Did the camp really think that we would be fooled by a vagina on the ticket?

Casting a vote for McCain was never an option for me. I don't care if he put Jesus Christ himself on the ticket. (I don't think he'd accept the invitation anyway.) I'm a liberal Democrat. It simply wasn't going to happen. Even if I didn't end up too wild about the Democratic ticket, I would have voted against the GOP. (Paging Sen. John Kerry...) But those voters who were on the fence and intrigued enough by Sen. Hillary Clinton should seriously have their panties, boxers and things in a huge wad right now. Because Sarah Palin is the most obvious political ploy I've seen in my admittedly short involvement as a political observer.

Gov. Palin is no idiot either, I should be clear. She is smart, successful and very popular in her home state. And I respect her for proving that there is such thing as work-life balance when it comes to juggling career and family. Amen, sister. I hope I'll be able to do the same when I pop out Eli Henry and his sisters with my brave, brave superhero of a husband. (Whoever he may be.) But taking a look at Palin's experience and credentials, this is Harriet Miers all over again. Palin was chosen because she's a woman and it looked good. It's been said before -- no man with her credentials would have been considered a "maverick" choice, or a "risky gamble." He would have been a stupid choice. But change the pronoun, find someone who looks like the love child of Tina Fey> and Mariska Hargitay, and give her a voice like a cheery "Fargo" character and it's a whole other ball game. It shouldn't be.

There was no way that John McCain looked at Palin on paper (since he never really bothered to, I don't know, hang out with her more than once or twice) and said, "Yup -- this one is definitely the second best choice for president next to me and me only." In fact, I'm pretty sure all he did was look at her headshot and decide she was perfect for the part. Poor Mitt Romney -- to think he used to be the front-runner for the slot and the prettiest one. Talk about thunder-stealing.

That may sound sexist, but so was this choice. McCain wants the PUMAs. He wants those women who were excited about a woman in the White House and were let down, and won't get over it. (And by the way, ladies -- get over it.) So he chose a woman for the White House. And some women who were on the fence party-wise may like Palin on the ticket because they can respect her service and her morals. But how stupid does the McCain camp think some of those other women are? They liked Hillary Clinton because she was a Democrat. They liked her because she wanted to end the war, reverse the Bush economy, fix healthcare and, probably most importantly, preserve our right to choose. Meanwhile, Palin is having dueling Michael Dukakis and Jamie Lynn Spears moments while the GOP figures out how to tactfully celebrate their nominee while waiting for New Orleans to dodge Hurricane Gustav. (The GOP, the party that was effectively destroyed three years ago when its president screwed up after Hurricane Katrina. What a pickle.) To say nothing of that whole "firing a trooper using her political clout" thing.

And ironically, First Lady Laura Bush is warning that the Democrats will be the sexist ones. Maybe Democratic VP candidate Sen. Joe Biden will let something slip. (Why can I totally see him accidentally calling Palin "kitten" like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters? Maybe it's just me...) But the McCain camp already made the sexist choice. If a Michelle Huckabee, Wilhelmina Romney or Tina Pawlenty existed and were put on the ticket, it would have made a world's more sense than Sarah Palin. But she was chosen to pretty up the ticket and grab the headlines. And by the way, Joe Biden -- I think you're damn good-looking too. But you've done stuff. National-level type stuff.

Sorry, but after the stellar touchdown that was the Barack Obama acceptance speech, this announcement was a confounding field goal that hit the posts.