King of Pain
Pain is part of the body's defense system, triggering a reflex reaction to retract from a painful stimulus, and helps adjust behavior to increase avoidance of that particular harmful situation in the future. So says Wikipedia. My favorite reference to Pain comes from The Princess Bride by William Goldman (I have quoted it on HuffPo before):
"Life is pain and anyone who tells you different is selling something."
Deepak Chopra explained that MJ asked him for narcotics to ease his pain. He seemed to ask everyone who had a medical license and some who didn't. He seemed to ask for himself and others, Mr. Omar I presume was a fellow junkie without medical insurance...
We're being shown now, in the weeks following Mr. Jackson's death, the supposed headwaters of his river of pain, the accident with Pepsi and the literal head on fire. It is a harrowing image, flames leaping off his head seconds before others came to his rescue.
The explanation is that this moment was the drug start point that eventually took over his life. I don't believe it. The pain he suffered was from his birth, from his being and becoming the commodity that then made him the omnipotent King of the Pop-Goes-The-Weasel-Jacko-In-The-Neverland-Box that destroyed him. Few children, put into the intense focus of their precious youth being marketed for other's pleasure, come out unscathed and with any sense of mental balance. I won't name names but we all know who they are as they have navigated their fame and falls on the covers of magazines and at the top of news hours. Rarely are the parents really held accountable for the fragile, destroyed youths as many of the young people get the F*&^% away as fast as their agents and lawyers get them... but the imprint is there, it cannot be undone without a painful process of self discovery and as we know... pain needs to be killed... not tolerated and examined.
Listen, I can relate. I too found painkillers after a routine cosmetic surgical procedure and I too became addicted, the morphine becomes the warm bath from which to escape painful reality. I was a lucky one. I was able to see that the pain had started long ago and far away and that the finding the narcotic was merely a matter of time. The pain needed numbing. My recovery from drug addiction is the single greatest accomplishment of my life... but it takes work -- hard, painful work -- but the help is there, in every town and career, drug/drink freed members of society, from every single walk and talk of life to help and guide.
I believe Mr. Jackson was in pain. Burns are a horrible injury and excruciating to recover from... but there was a time, when the physical pain ends and the emotional trauma takes over for which he needed the real help, the real treatment, the real focus. Mr. Jackson was an addict. It is coming out. Everywhere. He wanted relief and would get it in any name, place or method he could. It was and is a conspiracy of silence and I'm sure there were attempts to intervene and I'm sure his family and friends tried... but the addict gets what the addict wants, relief from the pain of their life... We all participated. We are all involved. Donations should be donated to drug treatment and prevention, not to his children. They don't need money. They need their father and sadly he is dead. Maybe, his morphing face will be know for not being the King of Pop but the sad mask of trauma and neglect and fear and yes... pain.
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what makes this even more tragic is that it was completely avoidable.and i dont just mean he shouldnt have taken painkillers in the first place. I know, like millions of others, the misery of painkiller dependency. There are really only two options once the opiods have their grip, stopping or dying. The trouble is, even knowing this, its virtually impossible to quit without serious help. After 9 years of addiction, i was just taking the pills to stop the nightmare of withdrawal. I tried tapering, suboxone, everything but to no avail. I had been hiding it from my wife for all that time but inevitably she found out. The very next day (!) we were in the offices of the Waismann Method, a detoxification under anesthesia facility in LA. In fact the offices are in Beverly Hills, about a twenty minute drive from where MJ was renting his house. Three days after that first meeting my body was free of opiates and that was two beautiful years ago!..I go to some forums and hear the misery and hopelessness and feel obliged to share my story so people like me can get all the information they need to make informed decisions about their lives. I cannot help thinking that if MJ had this information, perhaps we would be singing along in London and not mourning another senseless passing..
Your post is exceptional. You've drilled down to the core, and shared yourself in the process. My respect and admiration for you grows considerably, Madam Activia..... Well done, and thank you.
Instead of the King of Pain, how about The King of Sorrows. Oh if we all could drown out the things that trouble our soul in an altered state of reality. Addiction is an excuse to wallow. I wallowed long enough. Depression, childhood abuse, familial dysfunction, loneliness and sadness. At what point does the super-ego grab hold of the Id to say enough is enough. Unrestrained it is a slow form of suicide, the ultimate act of self-hatred. The great fall. Building it up to tear it down and America loves the show. MJ had everything to live for, even tolerance for his flaws and eccentricities, money beyond imagination. Does he deserve our sympathy or our contempt for many of us have defeated this monster of addiction without his resources or his stature. Somewhere I read that a live dog is better than a dead lion. We have been there and survived, still alive. We must be some kind of warrior. Fight on brotheren, press on. Let your tears be few and your grief be short. At the end of the day, Mr. Jackson chose his own destiny.
There are many people guilty of pushing medication. My daughter has on sevaral occassions said I need medication. I go to the doctor and they ask questions, I say no to all the questions, very honestly. I tell them what brought on my daughter saying such things to me and they say well that isn't a reason to get medication. ( I think my daughter is a control freak).
Two times I have had foot surgery, I have opted not to have the pain prescription filled. I took tylenol just fine in one day after surgery.
I also don't drink alcohol around any children of any age. I never wanted them to see alcohol drinking as the only way to have fun.
I am very overweight so there is something there that I do take out my "pain" of stress in life on, I am far from perfect. I look at Jamie Lees body and wish I looked like that, but glad I have had no bad medication addictions.
Jamie Continue to enjoy life!
As they say in the recovery community, Jamie, keep your comments focused on yourself.
stay on your own side of the street.....
.this article was a mass of finger pointing for a hugely
talented star. we'll never know how much stress he lived under. drugs and alcohol are best friends until they don't work. what a sad article and it lacks in charity.
Jamie Lee, I've been there too, and you're spot on. My drug of choice was ETOH.............I've been clean and sober 15 years. Yes I still have 'pain', but I've learned wholesome healthy ways to deal with it with the help of AA and my Higher Power.
Based on some experiences with a close family member, I have learned that many, if not most addictions are the result of undiagnosed and untreated depression.
I believe that Michael may have had depression for most of his life. Considering his upbringing,that would not be surprising.
I have very mixed feelings about Katherine Jackson getting custody of Michael's beoved children. She didn't intervene in the abuse in his childhood, and probably not strongly about his later drug abuse.
It appears he was supporting at least 10 other family members in Katherine's house, and his mother has already petioned the court for funds.., prior even, to his burial. What will happen when the kids get older and want to get out from under all these people? And why did she not threaten Michael with Child Protective Services if he didn't get clean? The fear of losing his children might have saved him. Maybe Joe is not the only villian here.
It became obvious with all the news coverage, that Jackson had been a full-blown addict for years. What compounded the madness was that he had the money to support it in an unbelievable fashion. The fact that you can have Diprivan in the house, with a doctor to administer it is unbelievable.
The really disturbing thing is the fact that he had the money, which allowed him to be surrounded by an army of enablers. The Pepsi accident happened in 1984, that’s 25 years of addiction. Half his life was spent in a drug haze.
The doctors and other providers of drugs obviously loved the money; because you’d think if any of them had a conscience, they would’ve tried to detox him, not sustain the addiction.
The doctor should be prosecuted for giving him Diprivan, which shouldn’t even be outside the walls of a hospital, and is only administered by an anesthesiologist. The fact that the doctor was using it in this fashion should be a criminal offense.
What he really needed was a psychotherapist, in conjunction with a program of recovery. The fact that there was never an intervention by the family is definitely puzzling as well.
I don't trust much of what I hear in the media, but somewhere it was reported that Dr. Murray didn't have a license to practice medicine in Calif...anyone know if this is true or not?
The first day I heard (and saw) that Dr. Murray has licenses in both California and Texas.
I love it when a celebrity writes a post, and so many here trip all over themselves writing "thank you" notes in the hope of a personal response.
MJ like EP, and HH hadn't produced anything worth a second look or listen in years.
"I love it when a celebrity writes a post, and so many here trip all over themselves writing "thank you" notes in the hope of a personal response."
Haha. You are so right, rektruax!!
They dont even read all those post, I bet. But we "NORMAL" people are incorrectable.
SHOCKING ARTICLE JAMIE ! MIND BLOWING ! Reading this story did two things to me; First was the same thing that it did to everyone else, it IMPRESSED me. It was well written and informative as well as entertainingly easy to read and related to, I loved it! But secondly; I was amazed that as beautiful & talented an entertainer as you are could be such a talented writer as well. Some people just get an unfair portion from the blessings fairy ! Thank you for further enlightening the world to the dillema that was Michael Jacksons and many many americans today. Addiction is a modern day terrorist and congratulations on your personal victory. You are an inspiration to others - keep carrying the message ! I too am a committed messenger... thank you.
stop by and say hi sometime
Drew Pillow http://drewpillow.blogspot.com/
Thank you Jamie Lee for your insightful commentary. An intentionally disturbing and compassionate reflection on a life. I appreciate the awareness that your recovery has shed on this one life.
Jamie Lee, I thank you for your insights and your compassionate understanding of one of MJ's problems, the one that apparently led to his early death.
I do have to take issue with your statement that at some point the pain ends. While it may be that the psychologiacal need may soon outway the physical pain, its is not true that the pain - the true physical pain - eventually ends. This falacy has led way to many people to seek any means necessary to end the true physical pain they do feel. As you know, psychological pain is undertreated in our society. It is also true, though some strides have been made , that true physical pain is incredibily under treated in our society. Unfortunately, this often has led to pain sufferers being labeled as addicts, as you suggested, when, in truth, they are trying to treat the physical pain that prevents them from living a "normal" life.
I did not know MJ at the level you seem to have known him. While most of you observations seem sound, I wonder how it is that you know that his pain was a result of his background and not a result of his injuries.
Many good wishes to you.
Retromega
Jackson lived how he wanted and died. The only one responsible for how he lived was him.
Many people were dealt bad cards in life, how you deal with that defines you as a person. There are a vast number of people who over came horrible challenges and were successful in their personal and professional lives, absent the spot light of the public eye.
Jackson made odd and bad choices not as a child but over 32 years of his adult hood (50-18). His old man was abusive, big deal. He was in the public eye, big deal. The Jackson and Elvis lines of life were very close. They killed themselves.
He has 'finally' found peace, now.....i so loved his music and him. :)
"the old man was abusive; big deal."
It is indeed a VERY big deal. I'm guessing you are not a survivor of any type of abuse. Your comment is short-sighted and nasty.
Thank you Jamie Lee Curtis. for speaking out about Michael Jackson's pain. Once you have walked in another's shoes, you know. You know drug addiction and I know Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a survivor and as a psychotherapist who specializes in trauma. PTSD is a crippling disorder caused by trauma. The public is familiar with wartime trauma but more prevalent is childhood abuse and/or neglect. Michael talked to Oprah Winfrey and others about his father's abuse and his terrible loneliness as a child. The mind/emotional life/brain of the child is so damaged that addictions are common. Yes, the brain's emotional neural connections are damaged. PTSD is a medical condition and, if the doctors treating Michael did not evaluate for it, that was medical malpractice as surely as the illegal prescription of drugs.
The press has honored Michael or vilified him. Both miss the essence of the man. PTSD causes terrible anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, depression, and difficulty forming adult, healthy relationships.
There are excellent treatments for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that have been highly researched for effectiveness. We need to educate ourselves, the media and our government so that our returning troops receive the help we owe them. And we must help the children around us who may be suffering abuse but have no one to turn to. And lets' learn from Michael's life and feel sorrow at his pain and loss.
I have yet to see the heart of the issue, "the elephant in the room" so to speak of MJ's addiction. His parents. When are we going to stop sympathizing and start holding people like this accountable?! Iam truly sorry they lost their son but if they had been more concerned with his well being instead of his profitablity, we would not be in this discussion!
I agree. MJ supported two generations of an army of Jacksons - via his mother - including the "expenses" for the Encino compound. That she allowed him to, via her as conduit, is shameful. First, it prevented his brothers from growing into independent roles as supporters of their own wives/children - and, second - it made Michael into the patriarch/breadwinner that Joe Jackson never has and never will be, though (again) Katherine Jackson's refusal to DIVORCE him and protect her children/grandchildren from him, allows him to dysfunctionally and toxically function as if he has been/is.
Michael Jackson should have had counseling and intervention no matter what - years ago. NOBODY cared enough to do it - and since the entire family (except for Janet) is financially dependent upon him in life and now death - nobody could.
Only Katherine Jackson had his ear and trust. She chose to allow her son to be commoditized for the rest of the family to exploit for his entire life. That he was in pain because of this FACT...should be of no surprise to anyone. If your mother burdens you with too much, unfairly...as a condition for holding HER husband/family together...you have been very poorly served in this life.
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