Sometimes, it all gets to be too much. It forces me to stop and question the likelihood of success in the near future.
How can President Bush be expected to bring peace and democracy to Iraq when the world cannot even agree on international standards for hangings?
Those people hoping for heads to roll over the mess in Iraq need to start being more specific in what they ask for, obviously. On Monday Barzan Ibrahim, Saddam's half brother and former intelligence chief, was hanged. The physician on site did not need to check for a pulse, however, as Ibrahim's head was severed by the noose. It is really tough to find good gallows help these days.
The Sunni community was outraged by this "mutilation" of the body. But government spokesperson assured that the gallows were built to international standards and in accordance with human rights organizations.
Not surprisingly, a member of a human rights organization disputed this claim. Param-Preet Singh, counsel for the international justice program at Human Rights Watch, said she was not aware of any internationally recognized standards for hanging.
What is the world coming to when we can't establish some simple ground rules for hanging? This seems like a policy a lame duck President could really get behind. Forget about overhauling Social Security; that's a grand slam in the bottom of the 9th inning of the seventh game of the World Series. Dubya desperately needs just to start a rally by getting to first base, any way, any how.
In my first year of Little League baseball, my dad managed the team. We were terrible. Apparently, the other managers took advantage of my old man's inexperience at drafting unknown second graders, and stuck him with all the boys who rode the short bus to school. But that didn't stop him from trying to maximize our offensive production. Whenever we were close to scoring a run and a spastic kid was at bat, my father would encouragingly yell, "A walk's as good as a hit!" This strategy centered on the statistical fact that an eight-year old pitcher was more likely to throw four balls as opposed to three strikes; by not swinging (and missing), our batter dramatically increased his odds of reaching base safely.
President Bush should take a similar approach to tourniquet-ing his support at home and abroad. I think everyone - Sunnis and Shiites, Israelis and Palestinians, Yankees and Red Sox - would climb on board the "Healthy Hanging" bandwagon. Start with a simple rule: Heads should remain capitated during the execution.
Guys on street corners from Brooklyn to Baghdad are already selling T-shirts.
I smell a movement.