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I just came up with the greatest reality show ever. Hands down. Yes, of course Britney is involved.

But not just her.

Britney needs a partner as equally talented (don't scoff; Brit used to have skills), insane and self-destructive as she is. Under my concept, these two train wrecks will marry and procreate, thus producing the world's most riveting baby-watch.

It's THE TRUMAN SHOW meets "Celebrity Rehab".

Ah, but who's da Man to fit the bill?

NFL star/strip joint thug, Adam "Pacman" Jones.

Think about it.

Britney recently lost custody of her kids. She should be on her best behavior to convince the judge she's fit for motherhood. Instead, she - Bad Idea #1 - missed a court hearing last week and - Bad Idea #2 - ran off to Mexico with one of her paparazzo!

Pacman did not play during the 2007 NFL season due to a suspension for a litany of arrests, the most serious of which occurred in a Las Vegas strip club. He should be on his best behavior to convince the NFL Commissioner to reinstate him for 2008. Instead, he - Bad Idea #1 - entered an Atlanta strip club on January 3rd and - Bad Idea #2 - allegedly punched a female defense attorney in the eye!

Have two once-successful people ever made so many poor career/life decisions in such a short time and stayed alive?

I still need a name for the show. "The Ho & The Pro"? "Gold Records, Gold Teeth"?

Britney and Pacman would make Whitney and Bobby look like The Huxtables.

Let us count all the hot buttons: Race, Sex, Drugs & Wealth. (Wait, that sounds a lot like a current ABC show.) What's the over/under on how many stripper poles they'll have in the house?

The show is a network executive's dream because it'll air for 18 years, but probably more since the odds of their offspring graduating high school on time are slimmer than Ron Paul's in the presidential race. "Brit and Pac" will be the reality television equivalent of "Law and Order."

This idea could be my big break. Damn this writer's strike!