I need to offer President Bush an apology. I will never make fun of his intellect or lack thereof, again.
Yesterday I invented a word on national television. I did not intense to do so. Rather, I meant to say what I meant. But I didn't. I don't know how I got to that conjunction, but there's no use burning the bridge after I've crossed it.
I was a guest on CNBC's "On The Money," discussing the controversy over pharmaceutical companies having access to physicians' prescribing data. Many doctors don't realize that drug reps monitor every prescription they write, allowing salespeople to leverage that information during sales calls. Dr. Bradley Drexler, one of the first medical professionals to sound the alarm, and I appeared together.
The host Bill Griffeth asked me in closing what I thought the impact on drug reps would be if legislation passes banning the pharmaceutical companies from utilizing prescribing data. Instead of displaying brevity and levity, i.e., "Drug reps without that information would be like Barry Bonds without steroids," I babbled for a minute about how reps use the data to manipulate doctors. Zzzzz. At the end of my final sentence, I choked. Speaking in terms of how well a drug works, I intended to say, "efficacy." Instead, I said, "effication." That word does not exist. Not in English, anyway. Stephen Colbert I am not.
The instant I introduced "effication" to the world, I realized my mistake. I wanted to correct myself, but Mr. Griffeth had already begun his concluding remarks. Thinking that guests who interrupt the host's wrap up do not get invited back to the show, I kept quiet. But then I thought, when am I gonna make it back to Haiti?
My cell phone has been ringing nonstop. My email inbox is overflowing with messages. Friends in my former industry have never been so eager to get in touch with me. "Just for my education, please define 'effication'..."
So, I now feel Dubya's pain. I know what it's like to be mockeried, and I am ashamed to have thrown stones from this glass house.
Mr. President, please accept this heartfelt apostrophe.