As long as I avoided experiencing my emotions, I resorted to addictive patterns. And even though I have maintained a 200-pound weight loss for nearly a decade, I still do. The reason is pretty simple - I am human and not perfect. I am not always in touch with my emotions and sometimes I only know that I am upset when I am halfway through what I call a mini-binge. I call it a mini-binge because my binges used to be eating for a family of five. Now it's just a couple pieces of pizza. And since I no longer always do black and white thinking (you know, seeing only the extremes as alternatives), I can stop and go back to eating in a way that works best for my body.
My last mini binge was a few days ago when I was feeling discounted. That particular button is a kicker for me, as it can be triggered not only by others' behavior, but also by my own as well. As a matter of fact, I'm probably much better at discounting myself than the world is at discounting me. I used to see people as divided into two categories (there's that black and white thinking again) -- the "what's wrong with me" people and the "what's wrong with them" people. For years I was a "what's wrong with me" person. Now I know it's a "nothing's wrong with anyone" world we live in, where we are all doing the best we can with what we have.
My little mini-binge was part of a process I call using fillers. As addictive behaviors go, ones dealing with food and eating are among the most complicated and complex. I'm not suggesting that alcoholism is by any means easy, but it is possible to stop drinking alcohol entirely and live a balanced life. The same goes for most drugs. Even sex. But when it comes to food and eating, abstinence is not a viable alternative. So those of us who deal with these particular issues have a pretty tricky row to hoe.
One of the tricks is learning how to deal with the fillers. First we need to recognize that the behavior is going on and then learn how to deal with the underlying emotional kickers and needs that the food or eating behavior is satisfying. This week we'll take a look at some of the ways in which we use food as part of addictive processes. Next time, we'll dig a little deeper into those you find the most interesting, so be sure to comment on your particular mini-binge trigger from the list below.
Either comment below or email at JanShep@aol.com
Jenni Schaefer: Mom, It's Not Your Fault
Irene Rubaum-Keller: Should Eating Disorders Be Covered on Reality TV?
Eating Disorders | Anorexia | Bulimia | Binge Eating Disorder ...
National Eating Disorders Association
Eating disorders - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Rise in eating disorder hospital admission
As a full-blooded Italian-American, I grew up eating wonderful food - and OVEReating wonderful food (my family's definition of 'full' was when you couldn't move). While food never became a disorder, I certainly have a relationship with it. I love it. I know I shouldn't have too much of it. But my willpower doesn't serve me as well as it once did (getting older somehow makes it more palatable to have that dessert...or those pieces of pizza...I'm reading too many obituaries that confirm my overall "Eat-drink-be merry" conviction. The conundrum is invariably to watch my intake, since I truly do enjoy looking fit. It's a tough line to straddle. I read something a model said which I'll paraphrase: "No food tastes as good as thin looks." I love that. I try to remember it. And then some wonderful food shows up in front of me (because I cooked it or ordered it) and I decide, "Hmmm...maybe it DOES taste as good...I'll have a thin day tomorrow (sometimes I do sometimes I don't). Unquestionably, our relationship with food is lifelong and, frequently, frustrating. Once again, it comes down to Choices... (the old 'eat it today; wear it tomorrow). You make me think about these things. And that's a very good thing. Your friend, Andrea
So if life happens? I call this an "X" day...and say dont worry about it. Odd? Unhelpful advice? I've learned that it is the second day binge - often occurring because emotionally or physically the body hasn't recovered - that derails us. Ever had a binge and the next day you are so tired or you say to yourself you are worthless or just "give-up" on your healthy eating plan? If we can focus on the next two days after a binge being okay, or "check mark" days, then likely the binge will pass. How do we do that? I like a lot of Jan's advice on the mental side. On the food side, it's important to focus on nutrient balance (Carb + protein + Healthy fat + unlimited vegetables)- especially to get in sufficient protein to counterbalance the sugar's effect. Nutrient balance should occur as eating occasions every 3 hours. The timing is important as, with the right portions of nutrients - about 1 serving each (AKA menu worksheet www.ashleykoffapproved.com) gives you 3 hours of nutrition. Also, post binge, the emotional and / or physical reaction can leave one sick, digestively. Here I rely on nutrients like magnesium -Natural Calm is my go-to (I am also a spokesperson cause this stuff works!) because it enters the cells and actually helps turn-off our stress response. Another idea: a "liquid" day- pureed vegetable soups, or coconut water kefir or coconut water based smoothie - to give your digestive system
Let's discuss how to (possibly) prevent a sugar incident and how to get yourself back up on the wagon should one occur. Key triggers for sugar are fatigue - emotional and physical, digestive issues (taking antibiotics, hormones), and caffeine / stimulant use. These can seem unavoidable and "just happen" but its worth reiterating that if you are fatigued and going for a sugar fix, try turning to bed instead or taking a bath (it also helps if you don't keep sugar-based snacks and treats in the house so it makes it more effort to grab them). If you are noticing recurrent bloating, gas, and changes in your bowel movements it would be good to speak with a healthcare professional about these digestive issues. I recommend Align - a probiotic (I do spokesperson work for them because I've had amazing results with the product for my patients) - for anyone who has concerns about not having adequate good bacteria (the anti-biotic example above is a good one because it removes both good and bad bacteria) which reduces the growth of bad bacteria which feeds off (and can drive cravings for) sugar. And finally, if you do love your caffeine, try to have a nutrient balanced eating occasion with it (some protein and healthy fat - like nuts with a cappucino) to avoid the crash that can occur when the caffeine or other stimulant's effect wears off.
see part 2 in the next
Unfortunately most programs to lose weight or deal with binging focus on food and ignore the emotional programming.
Focusing on what you do or do not eat to control or lose weight is like trying to fly by flapping your arms. Better to focus on the stress of the emotion whether it be frustration, happiness, upset, anger, joy and learn to take it straight rather than diluting with food. The use of fillers is great to use with any emotion.
Yes, 95% of all diets and eating programs fail. Why? For a free report please go to http://www.EmotionalEatingCure.com
Being overweight all of those years taught me something very important - the feelings, emotions, and problems are still there, long after the pizza box is empty and there's no more ice cream in the carton.
Using fillers to stuff uncomfortable emotions such as depression, loneliness, sadness and anger.
I know for me, it's also a control thing. My way of controlling something in the face of all the things I can't... Like, I can't do the thing that will make my job easier at work, but eating another helping of whatever WILL make me feel good (temporarily), so take that work, I'm gonna eat it.
*Using fillers to stuff uncomfortable emotions such as depression, loneliness, sadness and anger;
*Using fillers to avoid taking action such as confronting the real issue or problem that is facing you &
*Using fillers to plug up the empty places you feel inside instead of working to develop fulfilling relationships with yourself and others.
I struggle with them every single day. Binging has always been my coping mechanism whenever I'm down, lonely, avoiding a tough issue, or feeling empty.
I've never understood why food is so comforting to me. I usually get mad at myself after a binge and I end up feeling guilty then going to then working out like a maniac thinking I can burn all those calories I just shoveled down. It's like a never ending cycle. I have over the years gotten better at it. But I still have days when I can binge on enough food to feed a small army, seriously. I am still struggling to find exactly how to get rid of those "triggers" that set me off on a binge. I'm trying to find a "hobby" or something that will keep me busy or be there to turn to when I feel myself about to go over the edge into a binge session. I'm still a work in progress, but I can't wait til there's a day when I don't turn to food for comfort.
it is only in the last fewyears that I've found myself obsessing
about food/weight and literally unable to stop eating when it comes to
sugar and flour. The
other day I ate a cookie sample and as soon as I put the cookie in my
mouth i went from sane to crazy and bought a box of cookies
and finished half of them in the car before I even got out of the parking
lot. My comfort (too benign a word for the pain I experience when I indulge)
food is ice cream. It is as
soothing as a martini or a glass of wine. I don't go out and dance naked
on tables afterwards, but I do have a hangover -- mentally/emotionally --
Why did I do that?" "I'm a failure" and physically -- lethargic, congested, headaches.
because i found so much comfort and support in AA I have tried a food
addicts program ( FA), but found that it only fed my
disease of shame and obsession. The rigidity of the program turned me into every alcoholic's nightmare, i.e., the f--- you syndrome, which really is all about f--- me. So, don't know waht to do. Or I take that back. I know what to do, but i don't know how to do it.
Your column today helped me start today with a less shaming, more hopeful attitude. Hope it continues.
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=28817
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124084009832659309.html