The Sisterhood of Women with Big Feet

At Barney's shoe sale the best selection is in size 5 or 10. I read it on the front page of Thursday's Style section of the Times. This was the first time I had ever heard of an advantage to wearing a size 10. I have a long, sad history of shoe size trauma so this was big news.

My problem began with Mary Janes, the round-toed, black patent leather shoes with a strap across the instep that are de rigueur for little girls in party dresses. As an eight-year-old with size 7 feet, Mary Janes were a non-starter. They were children's shoes and came in children's sizes. Unfortunately, my feet were definitely adult-sized. Giant Mary Janes didn't exist then. If my 8-year-old self or a contemporary doppleganger needed giant Mary Janes today, she could go to Barney's shoe sale and ask her mom for the $529 Louboutin version, open toed and deep purple. Cute with white knee sox, doncha think?

My history of shoe trauma is highlighted by trips to Tall Gals Shoes, featuring attractive footwear for gigantic nurses or maybe my grandmother--and not my chic grandmother either. I never learned to ice-skate because the only rental skates in my size were the dread boys' skates---low brown shoes with hockey blades, not the pretty white boots that girls wore to twirl in the center of the rink.

A story about shoe size can no more avoid Cinderella than General Motors can avoid bankruptcy. The Times writer saves her Cinderella reference for the end as she muses on the notion that the extravagance and beauty of Barney's shoes embody the promise that they will somehow "lead all Cinderellas to locate their proper mates." That is, according to the fairytale, IF they do not have big, ugly stepsister-ish feet.

The structural reliability -- even superiority -- of my feet helps me maintain a little perspective. So do the women I call the "Sisterhood of Women with Big Feet." I don't know their names, but they're right out there on sharing their shoe size as we browse dejectedly at the sparse "10 and over" racks at DSW. We understand each other. We recommend shoe stores, we who wear 10 ½ or 11 are shocked but sympathetic toward the sister who wears a 12. And because big feet tend to belong to big women, we discuss whether we really want to add 5 or 6 inch heels to our heights---subway doors become an issue.

We share our fury at manufacturers whose shoes are made in half sizes up to 10 and then skip to 11 and in rare cases 12. Do they believe that past a certain point fit doesn't matter, that big is big

"Yer feets too big!" Fats Waller bellows in his 1939 classic, "from your ankles up, I say you sure are sweet, from there down, there's just too much feet." Is this funny? I can't tell; but it has staying power. Sesame Street, that bastion of sensitivity and kindness, has a cartoon version of the song, which ends with the grossly toe-nailed heroine marching off with her feet in a pair of buses. Very funny.

Limping on blisters from too many shoes that I hoped would stretch out, I coped. I discovered that shoes could be stretched by: the shoemaker; a shoetree-like device bought by mail-order; by soaking new shoes in "shoe-stretch" and wearing them around the house with sweat socks, and I frequented depressing shoe stores that advertised specials for wide and long feet. The big shoe picture is getting better. Generally speaking, each generation is taller than the preceding one and taller goes along with bigger feet; so it will be easier to find shoes that fit.

But the memory of the jovial shoe salesman who didn't have ballet flats in my size and suggested that I "just wear the boxes" will be with me forever. He laughed at 12-year-old me as I wept for pretty shoes. If only I had known that someday far in the future a writer would declare (more or less correctly) that wearing size 10 is an advantage. However, when I was that sobbing child, Barney's was a discount store for men and boys. I guess miracles do happen.

Comments

[slokarma]

O the horror of it all.......­..Last year I was in a department store and couldn't find anything over a ten. I asked the woman stocking the shelves in the shoe department and her question to me........­"Wow, Your feet are big, did you play basketball?" HUH? I almost took those size 7 heels off her "cute" little feet and nailed her in her petite footed head!

My mother used to joke that I should just wear the box. I just spent most of this week pouring over the internet and visiting shoe stores to find nice summer shoes that fit!!! I think some shoe makers just add an two inches to the toes of their size nines and call them 11's! They don't fit! They aren't comfortable. My toes are not 3 inches long!

UNITE AND MUTINY!

[clarendon67]

I have the opposite problem. I am 5'3" and wear a size 6. People are always commenting on my feet. Your feet are so small. What do they expect that for my size my feet should be larger. I really hate when thy do that.
By the way I am a shoes freak.

[joandark]

Sisterhood is powerful---we who belong to the SOWWIBF are automatically entitled to buy any shoes we find that we love and don't hurt our feet----even giant purple patent leather mary janes.

[vim876]

I'm sorry, but I just can't weep for size 10 shoes. There are so many in so many colors and styles. I wear a size 13, and the only places I can find shoes that fit is Nordtrom or Nordstrom Rack. I would love to have size 10 or even 11 shoes. Most shoe companies actually make a 10.

[Lolotehe]

Size 11 here, and I think it makes for a stronger personality. You can't be a girly-girl when none of the girly-girl clothes fit you.

I caused a bit of a stir once in a mall shoe-store when they told me they only carried up to size 10. (doing minor Godzilla impersonation) "I'M THE BIGGEST THING IN THE STORE! RARRR!!!!"

Or the woman at Payless who watched me walk in and then walk right back out. "You didn't find anything?" No, ma'am. I've seen all your size 11 shoes and I didn't like either of them.

But, as the old joke goes, you know what they say about women with big hands and feet?
"They're impossible to shop for."

[susanthe]

Wear the heels! If the short guys can't handle it, kick 'em to the curb.

I wear a graceful size ten - I don't wear heels any more - but I love shoes! It's possible to have big feet and groovy shoes, you just have to look for them.

[Threeoaks]

My husband has asked me for tomorrow's weather (my feet you see, reach all the way..). Har Har.

[NoToGOP08]

DSW rocks! My size 10s are forever grateful for their collection.

Now if only they made tops that fit Dcups and higher.

[goosie29]

I almost share your pain! :-) I have always been on the border between medium and large, and barely escaped with my dignity. I'm 5'10" and wear sizes ranging from 9 to 10 (though 10 is always a little big :-), yipee!!!

[slightlygeeky]

I well remember the forced march to Tall Girls from grade 6 up, the only place to find big shoes in the 60s -- and the humiliation of the hideous clonkers I had to wear. Consequently I have an obsession with cute shoes, never, ever to be satisfied. (I wear 11.5, which is totally impossible). It seemed to me a few years ago there were more choices -- I could actually find shoes I didn't have to settle for, but recently there is nothing I really like. I'd give anything for a cute ballet shoe that fit me properly! I did try some stilettos not that long ago, but the half inch extra at the back meant I had to hold on the wall to be able to walk -- too bad, because personally I love the extra inches that make me 6'2".

So where do you find great shoes for big feet? I'd love to hear people's secrets. I do Zappos, Shoebuy, Nordstrom -- where else for 11+??

[dotsthefunist]

I will always think of Barney's as what it was so long ago and apologize for buying size 10 lady's boots during the 70s for my size 8 mens feet ,they were well made,cool looking and half the price of mens boots.

[LitDr2B]

My daughter is in the same position; she's been wearing women's size 7 since last year (and she just turned 10).

It hasn't yet occurred to her to be bothered by her shoe size, but she hasn't started clamoring for "cute" shoes yet. She's still in a "tomboy" stage.

Anyway, I am sorry that idiots said those horrible things to you at such an impressionable age, and hope my daughter won't have to undergo the same ridicule. :(

[Elise Smith]

I share this same problem of having too big of feet. What girl does not dream of having those adorable little stilettos? I know I did and I still do.
As you mentioned wearing size 10 means standing at 6 foot can be expected.
In other words is it worth spending at least $100 on a pair of shoes that will now make you stand taller than 75% of the male population?
I suppose you could say this just makes us tall women be more selective in who we choose to date (that is if you want your man to be taller than you).
The best apples are always at the top of the tree. So maybe we should buy those size 10 stilettos!

[kimest3e]

Buy the size 10 stilettos Elise. I am 5'9 with size 10 feet and wear my 5 in heels with pride. :>)