I was kind of putting off writing this post. You might say I've been
stewing. (Cue bombastic parting speech.) I think this season has been
an interesting one for Top Chef. Dare I say, it was no less than a
battle between the forces of good & evil!
Hung Vs. The World, say you? No - it was battle between typical
reality TV slop leanings and something better... it was a little show
about something I like to call cooking.
Which side won? Well, let's kick off the finale...WHEREIN MY HEART
BREAKS when I see that Top Chef has finally succumbed to reality TV
clichés and put us in a "live studio audience" filled with "friends
and family" and a woo-hooing audience.
That settles that.
Anyway, after a montage of the season, we're in Aspen. Dale is
brushing his teeth, looking kind of attractive or at least louche in
his luxe bathrobe. Casey is putting on eyeliner and Hung is at least
1/2-naked except for a giant green amulet on his chest, washing his
face. What's the back story on this amulet?! Does he sleep in it? Is
it something he's worn underneath his shirt the whole season? Is it
magic? Is Hung a sprite?
The chefs meet Padma and Tom to hear about their final elimination. To
do this, they must take a ride to the tippity top of the mountain. All
of these mountain shots are giving me frightening flashbacks to my
family trip to Yosemite, when my wily parents, obviously trying to get
rid of their four kids for the day (or better yet, kill one of us)
signed us kids up for a 10-hour burro ride up the side of some
cliff-face. The burros were understandably unhappy with their lots in
life and seemed to ponder suicide with every hairpin turn up the
mountain.
Anyway, Tom and Padma are surrounded by a bounty of ingredients, which
I presume some poor production assistant had to get to the top of the
mountain (hopefully not on a burro) and a Top Chef ice sculpture!
Who said this show wasn't classy?
The challenge, they say, is simple: "cook us the best meal you've ever
cooked in your life." Sounds good. "However, this season we're going
to do things a little differently...you'll all cook at the same time in the same
kitchen, cooking (and serving) your food simultaneously."
TIME OUT!
Last season we had 2 contestants, which is the way it should be - and
they served dinners on 2 different nights - the way it should be! We
really got to see what/how they cooked it. How can the judges really
taste the food when they're sampling 3 dishes at once?
TIME IN!
The chefs have 35 minutes to work on their menus and hand it to Tom.
They gather around the table of food and try things in tiny, rapid
bites, looking like little rabbits. Hung spits something out
contemptuously.
After they hand in their menus, they receive celebrity sous-chefs.
Hung winds up with Rocco Dispirito (looking, surprisingly, not botoxed
to high-heaven) Casey gets Michelle Bernstein (I like her) and Dale
gets Todd English (Eric Ripert who? Mommy like. Mommy like lots.)
Michelle Bernstein is concerned about Casey's pork belly: "Pork belly
is so tough...I'm praying that the pork belly will get tender enough
in time."
Dale says Todd English "was basically my prep bitch...I'm confident
enough at this point that I am a great chef and I am a great cook...I
don't know if I want advice." Bold words!
The next day, alone, the chefs prepare for the big dinner.
Dale has a plan: "I have a plan. Nothing's gonna change. No little
snafus." Good plan.
Hung has decided to cook his meal in the back, away from Dale and
Casey, on portable stoves. Hung says, "My strategy today is to get my
mind focused." He further laments, "The judges tell me that my food
lacks soul...that's like being run over by a truck!" Hung also says
that three courses is like "a walk in the park."
Cue Tom's entrance. Tom announces that the chefs will have to prepare
a fourth course, with the help of some "very special" sous chefs. The
sous chefs are - of course!- Sarah the Cheesemaker, "mad dog" Howie
and CJ the gentle giant.
Hung looks like he's going to puke. He says, "CJ hates my guts and
Howie's kind of a messy cook." But Hung gets incredibly lucky and
winds up with Sarah. Casey gets Howie and Dale gets CJ. Everyone gets
along and I will say that Howie (my secret love, clearly) is perfectly
nice and helpful.
DINNER!
The chefs from the day before are there, along with Gail, Tom, Padma,
Ted and Malarkey, looking nervous. Malarkey is without hat, but I
think we can all presume he's wearing his thinking cap.
FIRST COURSE
Hung does a raw hamachi & potatoes (his version of fish and chips)
olive oil, and as he describes it, "a touch of love" which I hope is a
hilarious shout-out to his storyline; Dale does a foie gras mousse
with radishes, pistachios, peaches and a pinch of Ras el Hanout; Casey
does a scallop and fois gras thing with a sous vide gala apple and a
dollop of salmon roe.
People think that Hung's is really "beautiful," Dale's is "too rich"
and "heavy" and that Casey's roe is not working and is too strong for
the dish. It's agreed that the only "major offense" of this course was
Casey's roe.
SECOND COURSE
Hung does a shrimp sauteed with caramelized palm sugar, tamarind, lime,
coconut foam, and 1000 other ingredients. Dale does a seared Sea
Scallop with Purslane, Marinated Grapes and Dehydrated Corn (this is
his CJ collaboration). Casey does a sake poached jumbo prawn in a yuzo
broth.
Dale's dish is getting the best review. Hung, Tom says, vainly trying
to keep up the "Hung has no soul" story line, is "Afraid to let go."
Casey is suffering again: "It's just too much stuff."
Back in the kitchen, it's time to cook the third course. Or, as Hung
screams, "It's DUCKY TIME!" America, why do you hate Hung so?
THIRD COURSE
Hung makes a Sous Vide Duck with Truffle Scented Broth and Mushroom Ragout, Dale
makes Gnocchi with Lobster, Bacon, Corn and Chanterelles in Curry
Broth and Casey makes a crispy pork belly with a roasted peach and
ginger pea shoots and cardamom crème fraiche.
Hung's duck is the undisputed winner of this round. Todd English says,
"This is three star Michelin in my book." Michelle Bernstein says,
"It's really perfect. I'm a little jealous." Mad (hatless) Hatter
Malarkey looks homicidal with envy.
People are really, really disliking Dale's gnocchi and Casey's pork
belly, which everyone thinks is overcooked. Michelle Bernstein says,
"I was worried...she really overdid it, she might have left it in the
oven...I don't know."
FOURTH COURSE:
Casey makes a seared Sirloin with Chanterelles and Ruby Chard, Crispy
Fingerlings with Red Wine and Parsley Puree. This is her dish with
Howie, which actually I think was mostly Howie in conception and
definitely execution.
Dale makes a Colorado Rack of Lamb (poached in duck fat!), as well as
the deconstructed ratatouille with anchovies and sauce vert.
Hung makes a chocolate cake with raspberries and almond tuile and
fresh vanilla cream.
The winner of this round seems to be Dale. People agree Hung's
chocolate cake is a safe choice, but impeccable and beautifully
presented. Tom seems a little cranky though, and down on Hung's cake.
Casey is getting some more positive comments for her dish, which
really is Howie's - ironically, they say that "Casey is really being
true to herself." It's pretty clear though, that she's out of the
running.
JUDGES TABLE:
The highlights of the judges table were Ted saying to Dale, "You are
one decadent boy" and Casey, under scrutiny, blaming the altitude and
Howie for her missteps (in particular the caviar on the prawn in her
second course). She also insists that there weren't any leeks, which
Tom viciously calls her on.
And...the winner is....
HUNG!
He jumps up and down screaming. Marcel, looking like a wolverine, runs
out from the audience to hug him. Hung cries! Screams!
Hung: "I'm SOOO excited. I worked so hard to get here and to prove
myself...and to have so much support from America!" Hung, I think
you're wrong there. America seems to dislike you. However, I like
Hung and I'm glad cooking triumphed over personality.
Hung is getting a hug from Tom, then he says, he says something that
will clear it all up, something that will make us understand the
mystery that is Hung, something, something...
"I"M JUST..."
And he's cut off as we go to commercial.
And that, my friends, is that.
THOUGHTS?!?!