Does the Highest Score Always Win?

For those of us who have school age children (and I have four) the last week has seen the start of that annual limbo that marks the end of the school year and awaits the start of summer camp. I have had to digress from my preoccupation with Third World strife and Darfur in particular to parent 24/7.

In my house Scrabble has filled the limbo. We play all day and until way too late at night. What used to be an enjoyable and educational game has practically evolved into a blood sport, which makes it a perfect metaphor for the state of the nation (at war) today.

So, with homage to Luke Rhinehart’s The Dice Man I conducted an exploration of American politics according to the rules of Scrabble and came up with some interesting observations.

When judged by the Scrabble point system, the KOREAN war weighs in at 10 points, compared to VIETNAM at 12, but the winner is IRAQ at 13 points. A quick assessment of some of today’s key players has TONY BLAIR at 14, OSAMA BIN LADEN at 18, GEORGE W BUSH at 21 and CONDALEEZA RICE at a whopping 28 points.

Some of the fears and issues that started this whole mess, the AXIS OF EVIL (23), and WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION (37) along with the current putative threat of NUCLEAR PROLIFERATION IN IRAN (33) might make us question our REPUBLICAN (16) leadership and the CRAZY QUILT (33) of justice at Guantanamo Bay.

For those of us struggling to find the truth out there it is worth noting that FOX NEWS at 20 points beats both NPR (5) and PBS (7) combined!

So the moral of all is (which I have been trying to teach my children) is to avoid blood sports (and war), acknowledge that the true winner in life is not always the one with the highest score and that the best man does not always win (REPUBLICANS 17, DEMOCRATS 14). Consider BONO (only 6 points) and his noble work with D.A.T.A (5) and ONE (3) versus the JANJAWEED (27) and GLOBAL POVERTY (24).