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Janice Harper

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The Bully Label Has to Go

Posted: 11/01/11 04:16 PM ET

Whenever I hear the word "bully," I run for cover. I don't know what scares me more -- the memories of venomous torment from nasty brutes with waggish tongues, or the troubling tide of anti-bullying rhetoric that I fear will do far more to embolden than control such mean-spirited people. But I have discovered that to even discuss these concerns often leads to accusations, stereotypes and silencing responses nearly as aggressive as "bullying" itself.

The trend in anti-bullying rhetoric, policies and laws is intended to bring an end to the interpersonal aggression that dehumanizes, humiliates and seriously wounds children and adults in organizational settings such as schools, workplaces, and communities. In that regard, I applaud the objective. But in recent years the strategy that has been adopted toward this end has been flawed in many respects. First among these flaws has been the manner in which people are treated as things rather than people with the use of the term "bully."

Calling a person a "bully" may be effective in bringing an aggressive individual down to size, but that very quality is what makes the label so problematic. The use of any derogatory label to describe a person is dehumanizing and promotes stereotypes. When we dehumanize a person with a label, we make it easier to attack them. In warfare, soldiers learn to kill other people by referring to them with terms associated with animals, monsters, evil, or any of a number of names which make it easier to see them as fundamentally different from the rest of humanity and hence, a threat to group survival.

In organizational settings, the increasing use of the bully label is similarly used to defend eliminating people from the group for the good of the group. But the label is not likely to stick to anyone in a position of organizational power; it will stick to the person that those in organizational power want to eliminate -- the whistleblower who is "too negative," the high performer who is "too demanding," or the target of discrimination who is "always complaining." All that is needed to achieve that end is to begin the branding, and group consensus will follow provided organizational leadership wants that person gone.

Autocratic world leaders have a keen understanding of how this process operates. Certain people can be eliminated -- by their own citizen counterparts -- merely by creating classes of people who are considered first, different from the rest of the group, then by conferring value upon that difference, and finally, by casting that difference as a threat to the others. By creating a class of people who are considered to have less value than others, and not being worthy of the same rights as others, it is not necessary to establish that a person's behavior or thinking is a problem; all that is necessary to eradicate them is to persuade others that the person belongs to the disfavored class. That is done most effectively by simply stating, and repeating, the disfavored label upon them, until others adopt it as well.

This same process operates in organizational settings by creating an ambiguous class of people who will not be tolerated among the group. By an ambiguous class, I mean that the characterizations that apply to the group are seemingly clear yet sufficiently fuzzy that almost anyone can at one time or another be characterized as belonging to the group. Whose behavior becomes characterized as offensive, unacceptable, verbally abusive, arbitrary and demanding -- behaviors grouped under the label of "bully" -- is more likely to reflect relationships of power than individual character. For example, the worker who has filed a grievance only to become the target of unrelenting retaliation is likely to become defensive, unhappy, angry and to file grievances -- the very acts which can quickly be labeled by management as offensive, abusive, unacceptable, demanding and arbitrary -- and hence, the acts of a "bully." The next step for management is to promote consensus.

The most effective way to strip anyone of value and deprive them of fundamental rights - whether that be human rights, civil rights, or even basic de-facto rights to fair play, safety and dignity at school or in the workplace -- is to achieve a consensus that they belong in the less valued class. That consensus is readily achieved in organizational settings because those in positions of power influence collective perceptions and self interest, and humans will almost always align their perceptions with their self interest regardless of the facts.

Anti-bulling policies are particularly effective weapons for autocratic organizations because they appeal to our social vulnerability, fears and self interest. By promoting policies that suggest bullies will not be tolerated, the group is appeased; after all, who wants to be bullied? Once such policies are in place, however, shunning, name calling, gossip and elimination will follow anyone who is branded a bully -- while ironically, these very behaviors would otherwise be considered bullying themselves were they not sanctioned by those in positions of leadership.

These concerns are not to suggest that aggression in organizations should be tolerated. My concern is that the current bullying rhetoric promotes a stereotype of "bullies" and "bullying" that is ripe for abuse and escalating aggression. It is far more useful, in my view, to discuss collective or social aggression rather than "bullying," and to talk about aggressive people, rather than "bullies." By shifting the discussion to the behavior itself, and by talking about people rather than things (and "bullies" are indeed treated as things in this rhetoric), the wide range of aggressive behaviors that are exhibited in organizational settings is more visible, and the range of solutions more open to discussion.

"Bullying" has in recent years become an industry in itself, launching careers and businesses in consulting, coaching, testing, and training. It is indeed a brand, whether through the emotional responses the term is intended to elicit, or through the lasting scars on anyone who, for whatever reason, gets branded as a bully. Some people are indeed aggressive and abusive and their behavior merits intervention. But to more objectively determine who these people are, it's high time we step off the bully pulpit, and look to the many forms of organizational aggression that are manifest in schools, workplaces and communities. Only by thinking outside the bully box will we begin to behave more compassionately toward those with whom we work and live, and less like "bullies" ourselves.

 

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Whenever I hear the word "bully," I run for cover. I don't know what scares me more -- the memories of venomous torment from nasty brutes with waggish tongues, or the troubling tide of anti-bullying ...
Whenever I hear the word "bully," I run for cover. I don't know what scares me more -- the memories of venomous torment from nasty brutes with waggish tongues, or the troubling tide of anti-bullying ...
 
 
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10:04 AM on 11/08/2011
Hi Dr. Harper,

I wrote up a response to your blog post on my blog, Minding the Workplace, looking at the bully label especially from the perspective of bullying in the workplace:

http://newworkplace.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/the-bully-label-too-stigmatizing-too-mild-or-too-inevitable/

I hope it contributes to a fruitful discussion.

Best,
David Yamada
Professor of Law and Director, New Workplace Institute
Suffolk University Law School, Boston
11:30 PM on 11/04/2011
Thank you for your article. You have so much insight.
03:32 PM on 11/04/2011
Dr. Harper, welcome to antibullyism, the most popular witch hunt in the history of the world. It is a quasi-relgious crusade aiming to rid the world of the evil people among us, and religion is driven by belief, not logic. Though it is dismally failing in its mission, you cannot write anything critical of anti-bullyism, no matter how rational, and, without getting viciously attacked by its adherents.

The general public can be excused for being gung-ho against bullies. It sounds like such a good idea, it is hard to see what could possibly be wrong with it. It is harder to excuse the world of science, which has abandoned logic when it comes to bullies.

But as the great twentieth century philosopher Bertrand Russell said, “Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed.”

Social scientists are human beings, and as such know the pain of being victimized, so they, too, are seduced by hatred of bullies, and hatred sends logical thinking down the drain. Nothing in history has satisfied the need to hate as the anti-bully movement. We now have a scientist-endorsed group we can legitimately hate without getting accused of being racists.

The reason anti-bullyism is so incredibly popular is that everyone thinks the bully is someone else. Just read the vicious responses to your article. Serious students of human nature understand that evil is not other people. It is us.
08:20 PM on 11/04/2011
I think you hit on an uncomfortable truth: "everyone thinks the bully is someone else". Even Shakespeare notes that if everyone received their just desserts: "who should escape whipping?". At the worst moment of my abuse experience one of my colleagues slipped me a note about people who lack consciousness. It helped and reminded me of Jesus: "forgive them Lord, they know not what they do". I was terribly abused psychologically in the workplace but I was also a manager for 11 years. Was I never the bully? I don't know; I don't think so but I hope I am not so arrogant as to be above critical self reflection. That said, there is a qualitative difference in mindset between workplace abusers and targets. However, the group phenomenon that Janice references is very real and maybe there should be a book called "when bad things happen to good people that are perpetrated by other good people facilitated by not so good people." I hope that would make us all stop and think and perhaps adopt some humility to mitigate our vengeful instincts. Ps, I've believed for a long time that all worplace copies of Machiavelli, Von Clauswitz and Sun Tsui should be replaced by Montaigne's essays.
02:19 PM on 11/04/2011
A bully is anyone who has the nerve to say something that isn't socially and culturally acceptable. Those that are anti-bully are passive aggressives who enthusiastically attempt to control, manipulate and dominate others by using shame and guilt.

I've had quite enough of these anti-bullyites.
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Janice Harper
12:18 AM on 11/04/2011
The points I have made in this essay continue to be distorted and dismissed by many commenters who do not read past the headline and presume I am "soft on bullying." I consistently note that I am opposed to aggression of any sort, and share the objective of eradicating it.

My concern is that who gets stuck with the bully label is almost always the person in a position of power, not the most aggressive person. I have other concerns as well, and to better understand my perspective, I have published a new piece on the topic on HuffPo at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janice-harper/workplace-bullying_b_1073916.html I urge you to read it, and for future comments to focus on rational debate, not continuing aggression.
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Janice Harper
04:20 PM on 11/04/2011
To correct myself above, my concern is that in organizations the person who gets stuck with the bully label is almost always the person who is NOT in a position of power; those in positions of power influence the perceptions of others. The bully label will not stick to anyone an organization supports, but anyone reporting their abuse will likely be termed the bully. In school settings, however, the bully label is applied differently, while the demonization and exclusion of aggressive children is another problem altogether.
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kyosaku
Nothis non carborundum
10:28 AM on 11/03/2011
Bullies have little difficulty dehumanizing and labeling their victims. Those labels are also part of a larger cultural vocabulary, and common vernacular, even of people who do not consider themselves bullies. The words themselves often have little descriptive meaning, except to stigmatize and dehumanize the victim.

The current trend in the attempt to eradicate bullying from the curriculum, requires a label and an operational definition. If the culture can begin to internalize bullying as an unacceptable set of behaviors, we may finally be able to rid ourselves of our tendency to bend to their intimidation, or idolize the tough guy image.
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rockysparks
there's no law against being annoying.
04:46 AM on 11/03/2011
Sorry, Janice, your well-intentioned approach ain't a'workin'. Society NEEDS to send a message to bullies of all ages that their activities are NOT acceptable. If isolating them is the solution that works, then society should do it --- in schools, in the workplace and in social situations --- to first, protect the targets of their attempts at bullying and also to send them (and the people that enable their behavior, such as their parents) that there is a problem and they need to do what they need to do to correct their bad behavior. If you can't control yourself and not restrain your bullying instincts, then society will have to do it for you. Bullying has been tolerated as "normal" for far too long.
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Janice Harper
09:50 AM on 11/03/2011
You have missed my point entirely; who will determine if a person is a bully? In the workplace, no matter how aggressive a person is, if they are in a position of organizational leadership the label won't stick. But it will stick to the person who files a grievance, is a target of mobbing, or otherwise finds themselves in the line of fire. The anti-bullying rhetoric simply assumes that once the label is hurled, it must be true and anything goes, making it a powerful weapon to bully a person right out the door. Indeed, I see no distinction between "bullying" and the aggressioin expressed in some of these comments.
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dblueII
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07:25 PM on 11/03/2011
That is ridiculous. Authoritative behavior is not bullying, abusive behavior is. Ignoring the very very real problem is far worse then over diligence.

Nobody is missing your point. Your point is absurd.
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rockysparks
there's no law against being annoying.
11:18 PM on 11/03/2011
Sorry, Janice. The bullying has gone on too long --- namby-pamby solutions like you are suggesting haven't worked and those of us who have been victims and our supporters are TIRED of it. As for your point, to be honest, I found it kind of touchy-feely, wishy-washy sociopsychobabble, but I knew your heart was well-intentioned. Now I just find what you had to say annoying and not very effective.
08:37 PM on 11/03/2011
Even with the most loathsome of criminals - rapists, murderers - society prides itself on having lines of defense between accusation and punishment: habeous corpus, the presumption of innocence, right to representation and trial, rules of evidence, etc. Yet it seems that we should just be able to point our fingers and have the "bully" isolated and punished. I think that abusers have gotten away with too much too long and I certainly get the anger. In the six months after I walked away from a mobbing I lost my career, emotional well being and had a stroke. My best friend in the organization shunned me. At the time I hated the people who purposefully planned and incited the mob. They will do it again. They will never be held to account. I could have plotted vengence but I chose another path, using my skills to heal victims. Trust me, challenging the bully label is not something that comes easily to me. Any yet Janice is looking a larger picture of challenging culture and power so that abuse of individuals is labeled wrong, including arbitrarily chosen scapegoats and yes, bullies too. That is a better way and safer for all of us.
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rockysparks
there's no law against being annoying.
11:11 PM on 11/03/2011
I'm not saying that they should not have due process. But even a person who claims to be a victim of domestic violence can get a restraining order against a spouse or partner. People who are accused of bullying should be immediately removed from a school or workplace or other social setting and the alleged victims should be allowed to stay, rather than vice versa. Then, if the cases are investigated and it is found that no bullying took place, the accused people can return to the setting. But I think the victim's rights should be considered first, just for safety's sake.
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dblueII
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07:05 PM on 11/02/2011
.Bueller... Bueller....
08:22 PM on 11/02/2011
If you would lighten up a bit I think you would find that we are on the same side...
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dblueII
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08:59 PM on 11/02/2011
I'll take you at your word.
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dblueII
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01:58 PM on 11/02/2011
A day later, and only 20 comments. There not exactly flocking to your side there, are they Janice?
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Joseph Veverka
08:03 AM on 11/02/2011
I think your confused. Zero tolerance is not prefect buit I didn't read anything in your article except to complain about other people finally taking corrective action agasinst a group of people "want" to bully others because of hate, prejudice, or, a physical advantage over a defenceless person. While you are right about labels generally but the bully acts from a high degree of superior attitude and the label cuts through that presumption and deflates the behavior as precursor to criminal activity. Gay teens are beaten to death and your article does little to resolove this behavior. The anti-bully effort could use more intelligent people and more leveage over encouraging parents that are behind the bully.
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DHC
12:22 AM on 11/02/2011
Dr. Harper,

"Sally Monkey Mouth," was an opinion of me shared by the neighborhood kids when I was 8 years old. I dangled my wrists and had buck teeth. The problem is they hollered their opinions with me when I walked down the street, when we played kickball. I got a lot of reading done that year when I was 8, before I became popular after wrist and teeth braces.
09:13 PM on 11/01/2011
As a therapist specializing in emotional healing for people who have been psychologically abused in the workplace I couldn't agree with Dr. Harper more. Many of the people I see have been labeled the "bully" at one point or another. If nothing else it is counterintuitive to suppose that there is "one bully" in an organization; frankly, it is never a one man/woman job. The current "law and order" anti- bullying agenda is putting individuals and organizations at risk while neatly avoiding the deeper nature of aggression in the workplace. Those of us who have taken on the abusers (and Dr. Harper has certainly walked the walk) understand that this is a dangerous collective phenomenon that puts everyone in the organization at risk.
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dblueII
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11:30 PM on 11/01/2011
Bull s****, If someone has been labeled a bully, they have done something to deserve it. If/when they can change their behavior, and that's where you come in, then the get to say, "I used to be a bully, but I'm better."

What is particularly galling about your position is that we are at a time and place in history where we are FINALY acknowledging the real and lasting harm done to those victimized by bullies. We are finally breaking through the institutionalized "isms", sexism, racism, classism, which have given bullies a green light since time immoral.

Then you come along with some claptrap "anti- bullying agenda" nonsense. Bullying is very very real. It exists at every level of society, within families and institutions. And it kills. Every day, someone is murdered by the words of a bully.
04:58 PM on 11/02/2011
I really do believe that the majority of "anti-bullying" policies and procedures work to the detriment of the victim. When I run into someone who feels vindicated, healed or helped by one I'll let you know. It does happen but more often the target feels revictimized. Btw if all the proof you need that someone is a bully is that someone (anyone) has labled them so then you've made Janice's point for her.
07:35 PM on 11/01/2011
In the end it is all relative. The author makes a good point regarding the stereotypical characterization of bullies as "seemingly clear yet sufficiently fuzzy that almost anyone can at one time or another be characterized as belonging to the group." The author is alluding to the potentially passive aggressive side of labeling individuals as bullies for every unkind word or action delivered against another individual. Unkind words and actions are not acceptable but alone do not rise to the level of bullying unless they come with consistency of unrelenting harrassment. In society's efforts to stamp out bullying there is a risk of limiting speech thereby making the efforts themselves bullying tactics.
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Janice Harper
07:33 PM on 11/01/2011
I believe from the tenor of some of these comments that my points have been made; to even discuss the issue brings a torrent of aggression and silencing, and once the bully label has been applied, it will be considered true and justify any response that ensues.

At no point have I ever expressed any support for aggression in the workplace or at school; indeed, I have been the target of some of the most violent bullying imaginable, and it is that experience which makes me tremble when I see a mob begin to form, especially when that mob perceives it is acting in the name of progress.
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dblueII
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08:11 PM on 11/01/2011
So, in other words, any offense defense of anti social behavior, and the real and lasting damage that it causes, proves my point. Not quite the scientific method, is it. But then again, there is nothing scientific in your article, all speculation and opinion.

Dead wrong.
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dblueII
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11:33 PM on 11/01/2011
That made no sense, I know.

But what I was trying to say, is that for you to take the posture of a person wronged is the hight of perversity.
07:14 PM on 11/01/2011
I think you are misinterpreting her words. She never said that bullying is okay and she is not defending bullying. All she is saying is that the "label" needs to change. Think about it, calling someone a bully can become a way of bullying. She is not saying that you shouldn't report bullying, but I think what she is saying is that the term "bullying" could be abused by bullies. I think all of these comments are mean and hurtful. You are totally against bullying, yet look at your words. I do not agree with bullying and my heart and prayers go out to all the victims, but this is not an issue on whether bullying is okay or not, it is how the term can become abused. Thank you so much for opening my eyes. This was a great post, and for all of you commenters, read the article next time.
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dblueII
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11:42 PM on 11/01/2011
The label is exactly correct. Unacceptable, anti social behavior needs to be treated as such. Thieves are not "takers" arsonists are not "fire starters" rapists are not "overly enthusiastic lovers" and bullies are not, "nasty brutes with waggish tongues".

They are thieves, arsonists, rapists, and bullies. That is what they are called, because that is what they have done.