Elizabeth Edwards: From Public Humiliation to New Reality

People say that we only get 'what we can handle,' that there are 'lessons to be learned,' and some simply say that God works in mysterious ways.

I'm not so sure about any of that, but what I do know is that when the bottom falls out, when the sky falls in, when the rug is ripped out from under, when our spirits have plummeted 10,000 leagues beneath the sea, we can either dig deep, find a way to move forward, grow, and cultivate an "I can take this on; I can get through this" attitude -- however painful -- or we can fall into the abyss.

With that in mind, I am humbled and at the same time curious by Elizabeth Edwards' new reality and the way in which she negotiates her way through its ever-changing, enormously complex and multi-layered landscape. As if she hasn't had enough 'life lessons,' in particular the loss of her dear son, Wade, she now endures a series of new losses -- her health, a most sacred relationship, and her reality.

I am sure Elizabeth has her meltdown moments (or even days or weeks), and well she should let it out, but instead of sending out invites to a pity party, she writes (without a ghost writer, straight from her own heart) her book Resilience which offers a lesson.

Elizabeth Edwards' life was on track, and she was steaming forward on all eight cylinders. From a place of incredible abundance and achievement, with the kind of status and prestige that people only dream of, her journey took an unexpected hair-pin turn, and suddenly she was plunged into a pit of shame, confusion, sadness, betrayal, loss and illness, all very much in the public eye.

Inevitably, there are for all of us, new realities to cultivate -- to tend, to plow, to grow. Even when all systems are a glowin' happy, life can and sometimes does take an unexpected twist. Life is precarious. And it makes us wonder...

... At the end of the day, what can we count on; what's it all about?

Answer: Character -- The capacity to feel hopeful, to hold to a deep conviction that there is meaning in life, and to have a sense of connection to the bigger picture, whether it is God, or family or community.

Spread the word...not the icing,
Janice

Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, the author of Our Lady of Weight Loss and All Is Forgiven, Move On.

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Comments

[lpsegal]

Brilliant, my dear Janny......
So insightful, so well-said, so inspiring.......I soooo look forward to reading your articles...Keep 'em comin'..........

[Janice Taylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you, Linda for your generous words. More on this topic, coming,. I am sure!

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

You have said it brilliantly Jannie. But I do wonder at Elizabeth's need to go public with her pain, while not being completely open about why she is staying with John. I also did not fully believe her feigned innocence about the child. If her marriage is going to work then it needs to be inclusive.

Loving you,
Deb

[Janice Taylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Multi-layered and very complicated! The book may be a way of processing all, having some sort of imagined control over the situation; humiliating John; staying w. John perhaps because she is going to die and has young children. Trying to keep their upheaval to a minimum. Stay tuned ... more to come as questions of paternity surface.

And perhaps say yes, I know about the child ... opens to even more questions, so she says no to it ... now. Stay tuned!

[SigmundPi]

Why did Elizabeth Edwards write this book?

The famous psychoanalyst Erik Erickson wrote about the final stage in life's journey and deemed that it's final task was integrity vs. despair. At the end of the day we look back and consider if our life was a good life; a meaningful life; a life that felt loving and vibrant.

Perhaps Elizabeth is now doing the same: looking at her life and deciding that she will write the final chapter. A woman blessed with power, money,a beautiful family, fame--she was on top of the mountain--and suddenly came crashing down--visited by the Big C; a husband who betrays and humiliates.

But like a phoenix rising out of the ashes, she will maintain control of her life and give it the spin she believes it deserves. She will not allow it to be appropriated by others. She will not despair and she will not bemoan her fate. Resilience is her attempt at resolving the final conundrum: integrity vs. despair.

[SigmundPi]

Why did elizabeth edwards write her book?

The famous psychoanalyst Erik Erickson wrote about the last stage of life's journey, and deemed it's focus to be integrity vs.despair.

Sadly cancer will probably cut her journey short. With everything seemingly hers'--power, money, a beautiful family, status, fame who would have expected her exile being from Eden. Yet in a perverse twist, she is visited by the Big C and her husband betrays and humiliates her--and then her world falls apart.

Is this a last ditch effort to make meaning out of a seemingly chaotic and destructive situation? To die in a state of despair is probably unacceptable to a women like Edwards (after all she has always been a "winner") And so she is putting the final spin on this last chaotic chapter in her life--and with this spin she attempts to make it all right again. She will not be having any one appropriate this chapter of her life. It will be she who writes (and edits) the final script.

[Janice Taylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Elizabeth has lost control in many areas and I do believe writing the book - her story - getting out there - telling it - is providing an opportunity for her to feel some 'control.' Ultimately, however, her story may spin a story of its own. Will she remain in control of her spin? Stay tuned!

Janice

[Janice Taylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Cherubim and care4mypeeps ... I am always interested and grateful when people let me know what they are thinking and feeling. Thank you for adding your words! Spread the word ... NOT the icing, Janice

[care4mypeeps]

Elizabeth Edwards has articualted in a way that gets the worlds attention about the success in life that is threatend by unfortunate circumstances as a spouse strays from his marriage vows for whatever reason and added a layer of grief unforseen by a loving wife and mother who was in the pocess of legacy making for her family that she will eventually leave behind.

This tragic story is being repeated every second of the day and nameless families suffer under the pain of this tug of war with marriage and the damage it causes to the relationship.

Elizabeth Edwards articulated with Class the sum total of her reality and the road her family must now travel and shed some light on the Other Women and her Disrespect for Matrimony.

I was greatful for the exchange because it Now allows us to Hold the Other Women accountable for her behavior as well as the Husband.

My prayers go out to the Edwards Family as well as the other women that she will realize the Aweful laps in morals and the disgrace upon her own legacy as John Edwards will have to also bear.

[EO123]

I watched Oprah interview Elizabeth Edwards with my wife.

Ms. Edwards is clearly 'resilient.' However, my wife and I found the reasons she gave for not dumping Mr. Edwards were shallow. We would have been moved had Mrs. Edwards said something noble like 'I don't want to disrupt the kids,' but instead (paraphrasing) 'I've assembled this life - and don't want John's ongoing indiscretions to ruin it for *me*.'

She can get in line - behind Hillary - of the women who've sacrificed their dignity and independence in order to stay close to power, influence and money - that's the 'life she's built' which she refers to.

[Janice Taylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Actually, I think writing this book and going on the talk show circuit does disrupt the kids' lives. I suspect it is - as I say - a multi-layered and complex happening. And I am curious to know what her take on this part of her journey is - after the fact. Will it give her what she is looking for?

Janice

[Cherubim]

Resilience is an eloquent book by an eloquent woman.
I bought the book at http://www.amazon.com for,only, $12.62.
Elizabeth Edwards writes prose that reads like poetry.
She has earned the title of author.
Before I read her book, I thought writing was a lost art.