In these perilous times, we have a penchant for drama. Not that it's not justified ... but still ... is that where you want to live? In drama mode? STUCK? However difficult the times, would you not prefer to be solution oriented, moving forward toward your compelling future? Having a pity party isn't my style, and I'm betting it's not yours either!
To that end, I am going to share an invaluable tool with you now. It is called the "Steer Clear of the Drama" model. Any time you hear yourself talking about your problems, your 'drama,' take out your 'visioning model,' (yes, good idea - write it down on a small piece of paper and carry it around with you) note that you are 'under water,' and get out from under!
-_-_-_-_-_-_- THE WATER LINE!
(All explained below).
First we do a bit of VISIONING: What are you working toward? A healthy lifestyle.
Followed by PLANNING: How are you going to create a healthy lifestyle? Eating healthfully is one step.
What are the DETAILS: I will go to the store today and stock up on healthy foods. ...
-_-_-_-_-_-_- THE WATER LINE!
Uh oh! ... you are about to step into deep waters.
PROBLEM: All the reasons that you can come up with that spells out why you can't get to the store today.
DRAMA: A stack of problems, negative thinking, dramatic behavior that creates a whirlpool that keeps pulling you down, down, down. And now you ARE drowning in drama.
What to do? Remember! Imagine pushing yourself up from under, back into VISIONING and CREATING YOUR PLAN.
Here follows an email from a Kick in the Tush Club member. It is a perfect example (thanks, Jess!) of how we create and live in 'problems' and until we are defeated ... or ... drowning in drama!
I am OUT of CONTROL.Honestly ... OUT OF CONTROL. I did lose 21 pounds some time ago but have gained nearly all of those 21 pounds back. I have NO CONTROL. I eat whatever, whenever. Please HELP! ~ Jess C.
Dear Jess, In order to permanently remove excess weight we need to change our internal landscape (I don't mean move your stomach to a new location).
1. Watch and become aware of your language. If you say, "I am OUT of CONTROL," you are out of control and reinforcing that belief.
2. Let go of 'the WHY of it'. Asking WHY questions ... "Why am I doing this?" "Why me?" may well yield an answer, but not necessarily a strategy to effect change.
3. Ask yourself, "WHAT can I do to move forward?" And then ask yourself "What else can I do? What else? What else?" Make a list of ten actions that can and will move your forward.
4. Stay out of the DRAMA. When you hear yourself saying "The problem is ..." watch out! Your drama is fast approaching.
"The problem is that I can't find a job, because I can't buy a suit, because I don't have the money, because my husband left me and took the piggy bank with him, because he was a misery ... " Got it? Drama drains our energy and moves us away from implementing positive change.
5. And finally for Jess and anyone out there who thinks that they are out of control ... If there is no food in your mouth right now - you are back in control. If there is food in your mouth ... spit it out ... and you are back in control.
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Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Author of the Our Lady of Weight Loss books, Beliefnet blogger, Seminar Leader and 50-pound Big-Time-Loser. Write her for a Free Consult.