Sharon Gless And Leeza Gibbons Come Out To Support LGBT Elderly

Six years ago I buried my mother. Last month I buried my father. Two weeks ago I buried my grandmother. Still in my thirties, I am relatively young to be an orphan. As a result, over the past few weeks I have found myself projecting thirty and forty years into the future and asking, "Who is going to take care of me in my old age?" Of course, it is my higher intention to live a fully active and highly functional, joyful life until the day I die. Nonetheless, I am aware of the fear and insecurity I experience in regards to this question.

This is why it is my honor to bring your attention to a non-profit organization in LA's Gay and Lesbian Community called Gay and Lesbian Elder Housing (GLEH) that answers this question for many of our Gay and Lesbian elders. GLEH is the founding organization for Triangle Square in Los Angeles, which is the first housing facility of its kind to provide high-quality affordable residential communities that provide a safe nurturing environment for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) older adults. GLEH has the intention of duplicating these services throughout the country.

In the LGBT community we rarely hear about the issues that our elders face amidst the current fiery discussions regarding Hate Crimes Legislation, the Repeal of DOMA (defense against marriage act), repeal of DODT (Don't Ask Don't Tell), and the passing of an inclusive ENDA (Employment Non-discrimination Act). Nonetheless, it is the population of LGBT Senior Citizens and elders that have made the very conversations regarding our equal rights possible. In addition, in a majority of cases LGBT seniors and elders do not have traditional, familial support networks. Of our current elder population many had the courage to come out of the closet at a time when being LGBT was much less accepted, and many were ostracized by their families and friends. Therefore, they are relying on our community and friends to support them through the often challenging senior life stage.

Here are some facts taken from GLEH website about LGBT seniors that you may not realize:

• Same-sex partners CANNOT share a room in most care facilities.
• There are many government programs that target the elderly, but do not specifically target the needs of LGBT seniors.
• GLBT older adults face race, class, age bias/ageism and isolation within their own community.
• Many GLBT older adults retreat back into the closet, due to homophobia amongst those entrusted with the care of older adults.
• Same-sex partners CANNOT receive Social Security survivor benefits.
• Basic rights and hospital visitation are regularly denied to same-sex partners.
• Medicaid regulations protect the assets and homes of married spouses when their partner enters a nursing home or long-term care facility; no such protection is offered to same-sex partners.

This past Sunday I had the opportunity to honor these seniors along with straight celebrity allies Sharon Gless, and Leeza Gibbons by attending the annual Garden Party fundraiser held at the estate of Dayna Devin, and Dr. Brent Moelleken in the Hancock Park neighborhood of Los Angeles. Although unintentional, it was uncanny that this fundraiser fell on the same day as National Coming Out Day and the National Equality March in Washington -- in addition October is National Lesbian and Gay History Month.

Along with the LGBT seniors that were honored by the presence of so many supporters, Leeza Gibbons (of Entertainment Tonight fame) was honored with the Ron Gelb Humanitarian Community Award. Ron Gelb was one of the original visionaries and board members of GLEH. Gibbons was honored for her pioneering work with Leeza's Place (www.leezasplace.org), which is an organization that she founded after traversing her own struggles as a caregiver for her elderly mother, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in the late nineties. Leeza's Place integrates educational programs, connective social activities, emotional support, and intergenerational programming, and will be partnering with Triangle Square to provide these services.

Also recognized Sunday afternoon was Sharon Gless. I was particularly moved by the way in which she showed her appreciation for being honored by the LGBT community. Gless was awarded for her bold and courageous body of work as an actress that helped pave the way for openly lesbian, gay, and gender bending roles on television, particularly in her role as Christine Cagney on Cagney and Lacey. Gless shares her story how in the face of her network's desire to feminize Cagney, she and her producers stood their ground, and unintentionally helped pave the way for LGBT roles and roles for strong women in television. I would go as far as to say that if Cagney and Lacey were on TV today, Christine would be an out lesbian. She fearlessly played the role of Debbie Novotny (the mother) on Showtime's Queer As Folk. As the mother of main character Michael Novotny, she provided a home for LGBT people on TV for five years. And in the upcoming film Hannah Free, Gless plays an adventurous, unapologetic lesbian who struggles between her free spirit and the woman she loves. The graciousness with which Sharon Gless accepted her award was yet another demonstration of her profound gratitude and commitment to the LGBT community . You see, she wasn't initially present to accept the award. That very afternoon she had an unforeseen family medical emergency . However, when things stabilized at the hospital, Gless made her way to the event, which was towards the end of the day after most had already departed, and graciously accepted the award.

It was my honor to speak with some of the LGBT seniors living at Triangle Square who were present at the fundraiser. I am delighted to report the depth of gratitude and relief that pours from them. One elder gentleman shared his story of having to sell his home to pay medical bills and being unable to afford skyrocketing LA rent. Without Triangle Place he would have been homeless. What became more than apparent in speaking with those who live there is that Triangle Place is more than a place to live. It is a community where people are comfortable, and free to be themselves through the rest of their lives and beyond.

I also spoke with Ben Patrick Johnson, recent founder of the Ben Patrick Johnson Foundation (bpjfoundation.org) who has chosen GLEH as one of the main beneficiaries of his organization. I asked him why he chose GLEH. He responded, "There is a pretty good support structure in place for people in traditional life patterns, but what about gays and lesbians, what about people that are transgendered, and people who are on the fringes and have gone voiceless, for them I have seen a vacuum. We now have two generations (the generations that are growing up after our elders) that are able to be more powerful and have more visibility, we owe those who paved the way for that, not only gratitude, but to look after them on a very human level."

I agree with BPJ's sentiment. I feel that I am being called even more deeply after the recent loss of my remaining biological parental figures, to express freely the profound love and truth that dwells within me. Part of this expression is my honor and care for those who walk before me. In our LGBT family our elders, in a way, are our parents who have illuminated the path for us and we owe them comfort and love at this stage in their life.

To learn more about GLEH or to get involved go to www.gleh.org

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Jason Mannino is a career/life coach. To learn more about him: www.jmannino.com

Follow Jason Mannino on Twitter: www.twitter.com/jasonmannino

Comments

[GO-BAMA]

Also - I couldn't help but notice that your list of facts is taken word for word from GLEH's homepage. I'm curious if you have verified these facts yourself, specifically this one: "Same-sex partners CANNOT share a room in most care facilities." I recently moved my grandmother into a facility where this is definitely not the case. If this is indeed a fact, surely it's verifiable, no? There are a few others that GLEH lists on their site but you omitted here that are worded in a way that most definitely makes them not facts. I support the GLBT community, so I get dismayed when I see fellow supporters playing fast and loose with the word "facts". Even if it's a matter of clarifying the wording, when it comes to credibility, emphasis on what is factual and what is not cannot be understated.

[GO-BAMA]

Interesting topic. As someone who just recently moved his own grandmother into a retirement community where several elderly gay couples live side by side with older heterosexuals, I was unaware that this was such a problem. Injustice and intolerance on any level is a tragedy, but I have to ask - isn't creating a living space exclusively for gay people, elderly or not, the same in principle as creating a living space exclusively for heterosexuals? And, isn't that then counterproductive on many levels?

[Dots]

Thanks for this good information. This is a much needed project. How do we donate?
I'm sure the right-wing conservatives will object on the grounds that gay elders should also be relegated to "don't ask, don't tell."

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you.

If interested you can go directly to the page on the site to donate:
http://gleh.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=category.display&category_id=16

take care
jason

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Jason,

I am so glad you are back with us. Of course, your article is very much needed, and, beautifully helpful and honoring as usual. This is who you are, my friend.

But, let me speak to the 'orphan' piece, a thread, actually, that I've been incubating for a future HP. As you may know, like so many of us, I've had more than my share of losses. I remember how, when 27 years ago and my mama died, nine years after my dad, that I realized I was an orphan. Although I was in my late 20's, that did not matter. I felt as though I was 'up next' at bat.

Please know that I hold you, and the space you may be in, central to my heart, and my spiritual practice. Surely, the process takes time. Please remember that you are part of our HP family, and shall not be forgotten. I am so saddened for the hole that such deaths bring, despite the realizations. Especially as we are about to launch into the holidays, just remember that I'm here, my friend.

Love,
Cara

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Cara:

Thanks so much for your loving, reflection. Being next "up at bat" is exactly how it feels. The day my grandma died I went on a long hike, and in the beauty of the moment felt the calling to step even more deeply into my heart's center and live in full expression of my love and truth. There is one of the gifts I can see already.

I feel blessed to have you as part of the community here.

Love,
Jason

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello Jason,

My condolences on your recent losses. That is a lot to process!

Thanks for this really heart-felt post on the needs of the elderly in the LGBT community and how they're being addressed in LA. Bravo to the folks of GLEH for taking on this important work and to you, for being a voice on this page for the gay community.

You're going through a really important process in your own spiritual evolution as you navigate these losses and connect with that part of you that feels orphaned. I felt the same exact way when my mom passed away. I really felt like an orphan, since my dad had already died and then my mom. It's a sobering realization to behold one's self at the head of the mortality line in one's family.

You are fortunate to be surrounded by a community of loving friends and a spiritual family of your fellow LGBT's. By being an active voice for the needs of the elderly, you help to insure there will be a place there for you when you need it.

Warm hugs to you,
Judith

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Judith:

Thanks so much for your support in my process. I'm about to go give my "inner-orphan" a voice, and see what is really present :-) Looking forward to the healing, learning, and discoveries.

Thanks for being such a consistent source of support here.

Love,
Jason

[PlaceboStudman]

Jason

Condolences on the loss of your grandmother, father and mother. And thank you for bringing to light this all too important, but all too overlooked issue. We must do everything within our power to respect and take care of our elder population, if for no other reason than in gratitude for the fact that, if it were not for them, and the struggles they undertook in their lives, we would not be where we are today.

We need to bring this issue more forward into the light, and shed the stereotype that all LGBTs are 20something college kid party animals. And, let's be honest, so far that HAS been the predominant image that LGBTs have had in society lately. We must do our part to take care of our own, and show the world that our community is just as diverse, with just as wide ranging needs as any community

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you so much for this support. I feel strongly that with stronger and strong voices among our generation those right before us and elderly that there will indeed be a balancing of the emphasis and focus in our community. As a matter of fact I am confident that we are already beginning to see that.

Take care!
Jason

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Great post. It is heartbreaking to see the loneliness that is pervasive for elders. My grandfather just passed away and I couldn't help but feeling part of it was just being bored and fed up with the end of his life hobbling around a nursing home halls and being devoid of the true essence of life.
I am sure the generations to come will continue to address this issue, and so glad it is on your radar screen as well!
Kari

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Kari

Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Yes, there is a lot of loneliness. Although we were in the process of moving my grandmother from FL back to the northeast where most of our family is, she indeed ended up dying alone. My heart broke when I realized that. Though she lived by herself and largely self-sufficient for her 89 years.

Thanks for your support.
Jason

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

HI Jason,

You offer such valuable insights and awareness in your post. I have observed that people with a giving nature like your own tend not to be alone or abandoned, even as they become less able. Actively giving and serving in any way we can tends to draw people to us.

I love how you speak up for aspects of the LGBT community that are less known and understood.

Love and blessings to you,
Anne

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks Anne for your kind words, vote of confidence and consistent compassion and support.

It is soo appreciated.

Love and blessings,
jason

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Jason, welcome back! Burying dearly loved relatives is not the easiest thing to do, and you have our heartfelt wishes.

It is wonderful to hear how the LGBT community embraces their caring for each other in this essential way. If only we were all so respectful of our elders.

Deb

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Deb:

Thanks for your love and support. And yes, I'm shocked at the way we don't support our elders, In so many ways we essentially discard many along with the wisdom that comes with all of those years of life.

I envisionthat like in most shmanic culture we begin to revere and embrace fullheartedly the gifts that can be received from our elders.

Love and light,
Jason