David Pogue, tech guru and columnist for the New York Times, recently wrote an article about his six-year-old son's iPad addiction. I was laughing to myself while reading it because I can relate to the constant requests to become entranced by the flashing lights and bright colors, and the yearning to grasp and hunch over an electronic device. I have a six-year-old son as well.
The difference is that my son's would-be addiction is to my iPhone or my husband's iPod Touch, either or, depending on who is more willing to relinquish the shiny, sparkly device. And I only say "would-be addiction" because I still waver between allowing him to be exposed to this kind of technology so early in life and realizing that there are many fantastic educational apps that would undoubtedly teach him a lot more than Disney Channel's Kick Buttowski does.
He hasn't had the opportunity to feed the addiction because his time with these devices is fairly limited. But I would bet my soon-to-be-purchased iPad 2 on the fact that if he was given the freedom to swipe and tap to his heart's content, one would quickly develop.
I do believe that screen time is screen time and an hour on my iPhone counts just as much as an hour on the TV does. But perhaps it's the acknowledgment of the technology-laden life he's destined for, and the inherent concern that causes that makes me hold onto my iPhone even tighter. I know that his generation won't even know a life without technology. Texting, Facebook, and whichever other tech innovations that surface in the coming years will be part of his everyday life, as they are becoming for ours.
I'm worried that his generation will default to emails instead of hand-written notes, texts instead of phone calls and saying "LOL" instead of actually laughing out loud. I'm worried that he will be exposed to a lot more on the Internet than he needs to see and I'm worried that technology will prevent him from fully experiencing life in the three dimensional world.
When my son asks if he can play a game on my iPhone and I start rambling about technology and its effect on kids, and I talk about my concerns, and I tell him that he has a full lifetime ahead of him to play with technology, I'm met with a blank stare and then after a couple seconds, "So... can I play a game on your iPhone or not?"
I've seen the way it affects kids and the ease in which they get sucked in. The Quasimodo effect, as I call it. Backs hunched, heads low, unwitting of anything going on around them. Recently, on this school vacation week, my son stayed at his grandfather's house for several days and my husband left him with the iPod Touch as a means of easing the time away from home. When I arrived to pick my son up, not having seen him for THREE DAYS, I entered the room expecting a wild exclamation and huge jump into my arms, but instead, found him in full Quasimodo mode on the corner of the couch, huddled with the device. I had to physically block his sight of the screen so he would look up and dilate his pupils. Only then did I receive the greeting I was looking for.
In the Times article, Pogue states, "The iPad is a magic electronic babysitter that creates instant peace in the household. If you told me you'd never, even occasionally, be tempted to hand it over, I'd say I doubt you." I wholeheartedly agree and have given into the temptation. It is easy, it does work and kids CAN learn from it.
But it's still a tough balance and one that a lot of parents are navigating. Maybe because technology with our kids is inevitable, the question shouldn't be to tech or not to tech, but rather how much and when.
I'm still trying to figure it out.
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My son is allowed on my phone on certain apps for 8 minutes a day. He sets the timer on the phone himself and stops when it is done. He watches a movie a couple of times a month and is allowed on the computer a few times a week to write an email or to do math.
He might feel a bit deprived, but he hardly ever says that he is bored. Is this tougher on me as a single mom? Yes. But no one said being a mom was easy.
This does NOT mean making choices for them or restricting their options. It means explaining to them all the options and which one you would choose (which should be the highwater mark of parental influence).
You mention that you are worried he will "see more than he should" on the internet. "Should" according to whom?! I respectfully suggest that you take him to all the sites you dont want him to goto and explain to him WHY YOU feel they are not nice places.
You will never be able to restrict which site he goes to, so engaging him in a dialogue is really you only option. And always remember your skill as a parent will be measured when he is 40, and someone who can think for himself rather than another corporate lemming who follows all the rules.
Enjoy the show.
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The capability of being physically logged in to the web during every waking hour will be commonplace. We went from a motorized kite to man on the moon in 65 years.
Your kid will live in a time when machines will be smarter than humans.
I think there is no stopping technology from being adapted, and the key is moderation. Unless you are the easily tempted type I don't think it's that difficult to stop your kid from being over exposed to devices like the ipad. The iPad's magical ability to mesmerize kids for a long period of time is also over hyped IMO. My daughter usually stops playing with the ipad in less than an hour even if I allow her to use the thing to her heart's content. At first that may not be the case but after awhile the iPad is just another toy. When kids grow up and start to appreciate say, the web or netflix more they will probably spend more time on the iPad, but that will take time.