"Hey babe, what's up?"
You might be thinking this is a casual greeting or, when mingled with a head nod and a smirk, quite possibly the worst attempt at initiating a conversation with a girl. Look through your average college student's text message outbox, however, between the waning hours of 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. (or maybe later based on last call at your local bars) and you'll see this line peppered throughout, plagued with spelling mistakes and errant punctuation.
What's a guy (or girl) to do when his quest for a bed-mate ends with less success than the New Jersey Nets? With the selection of girls out on a Tuesday night, things didn't look promising from the onset and spilling your drink on the brunette at the bar killed the mood faster than Kanye West at the VMA's. Following that up with your, "We should get you out of those wet clothes," retort definitely didn't redeem the scene, so off into the night you walk alone -- pockets slightly lighter, gait more uncoordinated -- back to the empty bed you didn't make this morning.
But then again, just because the bars are closed, there are still plenty of other fish in the sea...fish that haven't had $5 Long Island Iced Teas thrust over their Forever21 dress. So, out comes the BlackBerry. A flurry of fingers later, six different girls have received the same poorly spelled rendition of the above message or one of its equally effective alternatives ("you still up," "what are u doing," and the no-nonsense "yo you should come over" are all winners in their own rights). The reel has been cast and now it's time to wait for any bites.
Our penchant for technology has only made our quest for companionship easier. Want to test if the girl you want has even the slightest interest in what you're doing without putting yourself out there completely? Send along that blank "accidental" text message to see if she'll respond because she's curious how it came to her inbox. Not the best ice breaker, but it'll open the channels of communication and with some charm and luck maybe it'll open some legs. Still up checking Facebook at 2 a.m.? I see you on my Facebook Chat and I'll crack open the window of small talk into an invitation for you to come "watch a movie." Who starts a movie at 2 a.m.? By the time we get 20 minutes in I'll be making out with you and then use the cues of the movie to know how long the sex is lasting (yeah, I've seen "Super Troopers" that many times. I'm probably even reciting the lines in my head while we're intimate. Well not "probably", I am). Sure, you can carpe diem, but with the late-night text you're saying you're ready to carpe a.m. And if your text buddy doesn't respond, don't sweat it -- just tell yourself they're asleep and crawl under the sheets yourself, it's a new day tomorrow. Well, it's 2 in the morning, so I guess it's a new day today...
You can't blame us for innocently texting you about how you're doing at 1 a.m. but it's obvious you know what's implied. So if you're interested too, we've clipped away the frills. My pleasantries were four words long and written on the screen of your phone. Now you're walking through the snow to my house, staying up way too late considering the 10:10 class you probably won't be attending the following morning. Still, we each got we wanted. Whether you've got the nation's largest 3G coverage or can surf the web while you talk on the phone, when there's no one on your arm, know that there is someone on the other end of the line, awake at 3 a.m., waiting for those four little words.
"Hey babe, what's up?"
See you in my bed in 10...
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Dating 101: The 7 Biggest Misuses of Texting -- Yahoo! Personals
Relationship Rules: Text Messaging - AskMen.com
Beware: Texting And Dating Don't Mix - CBS News
Kids These Days: Is Texting While Dating a Dealbreaker? - The ...
Is your texting innocent? Are you really concerned with how they're doing? Or merely what they're doing, hoping that they're lonely and horny. It is companionship you seek? You let her walk through the snow to your house, alone, at 2 in the morning? Are they really waiting for your text?
And regarding the snow: There's lots of snow in Ithaca, NY. Someone has to walk through it...
On a lighter note, sometimes a text at one a.m. is innocent. Maybe with inhibitions slightly lower you finally muster the courage to start your serial texting relationship with someone. Who knows where that will go? Maybe an actual phone call? Nah, that's just not the style of the day. Our phones and our fingers have such an intimate relationship I doubt it would surprise anyone if at the bottom of this comment it said:
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
(Sorry iPhone users...)
Truth be told, I'm writing an essay on your piece. I have a few questions for you. What would be the most convenient means of contacting you? (preferably a means that isn't - necessarily -going to be displayed to the world) If you don't have time, no worries. Peace.
College students are busy. Maybe walking home from the library they pass karaoke night at the bar and stop in for a drink or two. They're out now and they've fortified themselves with some courage from the tap. Emboldened with confidence they want to see if maybe the girl who was working on the same project at the library earlier had a similar time line of events and is out on the town now, too. The cause-effect of alcohol. I'm sure the Porter in Macbeth wished he had cell-phone reception (or maybe a foot messenger was the appropriate booty call "text" back then?) when he spoke of alcohol's ability to "provoke[s] the desire."
Some college students are timid. Maybe it makes it a little easier if their rejection comes via a late-night text message. Getting rejected late at night might even be a confidence booster for some people. If the girl responds, "Ask me earlier" or "You only ask me to hang out when it's so late," or something of that sort, then the sender could feel as if the person is interested them and they can move on to actually trying to do something with the girl that does not involve drunk sex, brief spooning, passing-out, and an awkward morning resulting in the loss of one or more socks. That is of course if the sender's intentions were really just to spend time with the girl. These days it's not always charm then date then intimacy. In our hookup culture, many times intimacy can establish primacy and a girlfriend or a boyfriend is made after several sexual encounters that lead to realizing your emotional (not sexual) true feelings and dating begins.
But then again, you never know how many other cell phones are vibrating on night stands across campus, flashing the same text message from one sender. So buyer beware... or, come to grips with it, and if you want it, go get it, and who knows where it'll take you..
What do you think?