If I were bitten by a supersonic, toxic bug and given superpowers like Spider-Man, my number-one choice would be the power to find out every single Hollywood celebrity who is a closeted homosexual.
Not really. Obviously. I'm not a complete idiot. That'd be a pretty ridiculous thing to waste my one shot at power on. Obviously I'd choose to find out what Oprah's Montecito estate smells like.
However, the idea of finding out the truth behind so many closeted gay celebrities does fascinate me. I'm not one of those people who think every closeted gay guy who has ever been in a romantic comedy should be forced to come out. No one is immune to fear, even if they have worked with Renee Zellweger, but the act of keeping that kind of thing secret does create a pointless sense of loneliness for gay kids watching and wondering if they're the only ones besides Neil Patrick Harris and that assistant on The Rachel Zoe Project.
Moving to Hollywood and attempting to make my way into the world of television acting has been a real wake-up call to just how gay-fearing Hollywood can still be. It was easy for me to think that everyone and their drag queen brother is gay, groovy and not giving a crap when I was palling around in the world of downtown performance in New York, a world populated by gender-queer, outside-the-box, revolutionary, kick-ass weirdos like Cole Escola, Erin Markey, Max Steele, Justin Vivian Bond, Dan Fishback and Bridget Everett.
A year into my newest chapter in Hollywood, I am finding myself more and more shocked at the gay stigma that still somehow exists in the underbelly of casting offices and studio board rooms. I've had numerous friends tell me horror stories of being told they're "too gay" for gay roles, "not gay enough" for gay hairstylist roles, or that because they've played gay characters on other shows, they couldn't play straight characters on a different show. There's something wrong with a world where I, as a very comfortable gay actor, feel the need to "butch it up" in an audition for a gay character because the casting notice says "straight-acting gay guy" and I know what they want and need the job. It's 2011 and there's simply no such thing anymore. So let's all catch up.
In my first year here in Hollywood, I've been very lucky to book a lot of amazing jobs on some amazing shows with some amazing directors, producers, actors and casting folk. I am in no way the sad little gay drummer boy drumming his tune of a post-modern "celluloid closet" on the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard (but that is what I was for Halloween last year).
Let's give credit where credit is due: Hollywood has come a long way. The very idea that Glee's Chris Cofler is America's sweetheart as a high-voiced gay teenager with a boyfriend on one of the most popular comedies on TV is beautiful and inspiring. The gay guy on Happy Endings is a real, genuine depiction of gay people I actually know. Not to mention Modern Family, Torchwood, 90210 and the fact that essentially every single daytime talk show is hosted by a lesbian or Anderson Cooper.
We should celebrate these gay story lines and characters as much as possible, not tear them down as so many gay folks tend to do -- but we should also demand more. With Glee, Modern Family, Happy Endings, etc., we've proven that America is ready for more. America is ready for more than just gay best friends, gay assistants, gay relatives and gay hairstylists (all of which I've played, by the way, so in the meantime I'll gladly ask you to keep those roles coming so that I can keep paying my rent and eating the Raisin Bran muffin I'm eating as I type this).
America is ready to root for us. So Hollywood should let them.
I consider myself exceptionally lucky to live in this generation where gay characters are slowly becoming mainstream. I understand how far we've come but also how far we have to go. Twenty years ago we never could have had a Chris Cofler or a Jesse Tyler Ferguson or a Jane Lynch, and that's a huge deal. However, my point is this: we're at a point where our gay characters are important enough that they're today's version of Carla on Cheers, and that's an awesome place to be (because who doesn't love Carla on Cheers?), but it's time for a world where we're more than the Carlas; it's time for us to be the Sams and the Dianes, or even the Rebeccas. And I happen to think the first step to that beautiful place is for a few more movie stars to let the world, and most importantly Hollywood, know they're gay and always have been and always will be and that it doesn't change a single thing.
Follow Jeffery Self on Twitter: www.twitter.com/jefferyself
"Hey, there's Zachary. He's a great gay actor."
And it's NOT just gays. What will David Carradine, INXS Michael Hutchence and Bob Crane be remembered for? Their talent or their private life - which wasn't exposed until AFTER their death.
One other thing to think about: Coming out is a very private, very personal decision and NO one should be bullied into coming out. Especially if it's for someone else's agenda.
Wouldn't it be cool to have a show where there's this tough action lead and half a dozen episodes or so in we find out he or she is Gay and the reveal is incidental to the plot?
I *guess* Cameron on Modern Family counts, but he's so stereotypical it's not funny. How about a gay male who happens to be overweight but isn't flambouyant?
So I went --- not exactly back in the closet, just sort of undercover. I just didn't talk much about my life.I mentioned kids and grandkids, but not much else.
It was the most boring time of my life in some time. I didn't really make friends with any of my co-workers and I didn't really get involved much with ANY aspects of work beyond answering telephone calls.
After a year of this, I finally had enough. The fall work season brought a number of new employees. One day, one of them said, "So, what's your story, Rocky? You never say much about yourself,"
I replied: "I'm a father of seven kids, grandfather of another seven and am a three-time loser in the marital wars: twice to women and once to a man."
After the dropped jaws closed, there was a silence. Then one woman said, "I'm partnered with a woman, OK? Anyone got a problem with that?"
The male co-workers didn't say much until one guy said, "OK, Rocky, but who do you like better? The Kentucky Wildcats or the Tennessee Volunteers?" I replied, "Ohio State." I was back to being one of the boys again.
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But don't forget at first Fox tried to keep Colfer from being out. I believe it was on an interview with Chelsea handler that she finally said "All of this is idiotic, you're gay aren't you?" And you could see the hesitation and then he said yes. The fact that they would think, that an actor playing a very openly gay character on a show with a strong gay audience should have to stay closeted shows just how bigoted and out of touch Hollywood can be.
Hollywood will often try to say that they were ahead of the times, for example, they use the example of Hattie McDaniel winning an Oscar in 1940....yes, she did, what they don't like to remember is that she wasn't allowed to walk the red carpet and had to enter through the staff entrance. Modern Family refused to have their gay couple kiss, using every excuse in the book until the pressure got to be too much, so they had one brief kiss on one episode and now have neutered the couple even more.
Keep pushing and Hollywood will get there.