9 Critical Steps Women Should Take To Prepare For Divorce

I talk with women facing divorce on a daily basis and the emotions they are dealing with are all over the board. But there is one common thread--they all feel overwhelmed! The thought of so many changes happening so fast could make anyone want to stick their head in the sand and hide. This is the case whether she has been blindsided by her husband who just told her he "found someone new" or she is the one who initiated the divorce. Either way, the impact on her life is tremendous, which makes it difficult for her to know where to even begin.

To help get things underway and to start feeling more in control, I suggest you take the following 9 critical steps:

1 of 9

Gather your financial records

1 of 10

First Slide

Previous Slide

@

You should immediately start gathering all of your financial records. Having all the information together and organized will save you time and money. I created a Divorce Financial Checklist that will walk you through the key documents that you'll need. Please bear in mind that not everyone will need every document listed. Do not keep these records in your home! Bring copies to your parents, a trusted friend and/or keep them in a safe deposit box that your spouse doesn't know about or have access to.

Biggest Celebrity Blended Families

Should Couples Stay Together For The Kids?

Meet Maureen And Tom's Family

Is Casual Sex Post-Split A Good Idea?

funniest photoshop fails

Interesting Divorce Customs

You should immediately start gathering all of your financial records. Having all the information together and organized will save you time and money. I created a Divorce Financial Checklist that will walk you through the key documents that you'll need. Please bear in mind that not everyone will need every document listed. Do not keep these records in your home! Bring copies to your parents, a trusted friend and/or keep them in a safe deposit box that your spouse doesn't know about or have access to.

comments(19)

Total comments: 19 | Post a Comment

1 of 10

This Tip

Rank #2  |  Average: 4

Obvious Great Idea

• 
  1
• 
  2
• 
  3
• 
  4
• 
  5
• 
  6
• 
  7
• 
  8
• 
  9
• 
  10

Top 5 Tips

loading...

Top 5 Tips

UserName

 | Become a fan

Picked These as the Top 5 Slides in the Slideshow

loading...

Top User Slides

← Prev|Next →

 | Become a fan

Picked These as the Top 5 Slides in the Slideshow

loading...

Users who voted on this slide

← Prev|Next →

loading...

I am often amazed at how much better a woman feels after she has completed many of these steps. This puts her in a much stronger mental position to be able to deal with her divorce, which will hopefully ensure that she doesn't make hasty decisions that could negatively impact her for the rest of her life.
--------------------------------------------
Jeffrey A. Landers, CDFA™ is a Divorce Financial Strategist™ and the founder of Bedrock Divorce Advisors, LLC (http://www.BedrockDivorce.com), a divorce financial strategy firm that exclusively works with women, who are going through, or might be going through, a financially complicated divorce. He also advises women business owners on what steps they can take now to "divorce-proof" their business in the event of a future divorce. He can be reached at [e-mail].

All articles/blog posts are for informational purposes only, and do not constitute legal advice. If you require legal advice, retain a lawyer licensed in your jurisdiction. The opinions expressed are solely those of the author, who is not an attorney.

 

Follow Jeffrey A. Landers on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Bedrock_Divorce

Comments

[sincemydivorce]

08:46 PM on 03/14/2011

All good solid advice. I would also add to be very careful about any expenditures you make with marital assets since these will presumably be taken into account in the final settlement. Also, if you don't already have a budget, make one - that way you'll know how much you need to live on each month.

[Jeffrey A. Landers]

04:44 PM on 03/04/2011

We exclusively represent women who are going through a financially complicated divorce, so we are writing from that perspective. However, you are quite right - This advice is equally applicable for men.

[FoxIslander]

03:54 PM on 03/04/2011

Why is this advice just for women? Just asking...

[Robynn Parker]

10:03 AM on 03/04/2011

This is great advice and great steps. I did most of the 9 steps when I was going through my divorce. I would like to add that if you decide to use your maiden name again, then you'll have to get your SS card and drivers' license changed first before you can change your name on your bank accounts and credit cards. Less than three years after my divorce, I bought a bigger, newer house up the hill from my ex. Life after divorce is so lovely. :-)

[Muzzle Me]

06:44 AM on 03/04/2011

Meant to type advice and not advise. It's early..

[LittleGirl]

06:43 AM on 03/04/2011

I think it's really important to stop complaining about your lousy marriage and 'pick' a confidant that you can trust during this process. Make that person the one and only one that will assist you with pulling all of this paperwork together and give you safe house to go to when the bomb drops. Women have to think with their heads and realize that sometimes dropping the divorce bomb can have deadly consequences. These tips are especially important to follow when there is not even a hint of violence in the marriage.
Good Luck Ladies.

[Muzzle Me]

06:42 AM on 03/04/2011

Excellent advise and I did most if not all, HOWEVER it wasn't immediately because one still has to deal with the "emotions" of realizing the marriage is over. That takes some processing, but once I did, I put my "emotions" on a shelf and it was no longer just personal but business for the welfare of our children too.

[Jeffrey A. Landers]

11:01 AM on 03/04/2011

Divorce hurts women not only emotionally but financially. Some of the worst financial decisions are made by women during the throes of divorce. That's exactly why the tag line of my company is Think Financially, Not Emotionally®. You are exactly right, once you realize that the marriage is over, you need to treat your divorce negotiations as a business deal. I understand that taking out the "personal" part of the equation is more easily said than done, but it is absolutely necessary if you want to secure your financial future for you and your children. You need to be able to think clearly and make unemotional decisions.

[bamkmartin]

08:37 PM on 03/03/2011

good list for both parties to comply with.

[Norm]

03:34 PM on 03/03/2011

The first thing a wife must do in case of a split is leave South Dakota.

[rh654]

02:25 PM on 03/03/2011

Considering most divorces are started by women - I guess the check list is very pro-active.

"Divorce Financial Strategist" - wow - talk about an Ambulance Chasing career...

[Andrea Lowenthal]

02:00 PM on 03/03/2011

Good, concrete suggestions for actions that are too easily forgotten in times of stress. As to legal documents, consult with an attorney so that you don't make mistakes. As an attorney (T&E, not Matriominial), I see do-it-yourself documents on occasion; some squeek by as acceptable, but most defeat the purpose or even fail to meet minimal state requirements. Also, a durable Power of Attorney of attorney is important even if you hold your assets in joint name. Get legal advice early in the process.

[DjOverEZ]

12:56 PM on 03/03/2011

I don't know how to post this without it seeing like I'm advertising for my own company, but at SteadfastHomeInventory.com, you can find a lot of information on having a home inventory professionally done, preferably before things "go missing." I have found that a professional, third-party inventory is much more credible than just taking photos of your valuables.

[teresa1960]

12:26 PM on 03/03/2011

#10. Don't forget to slam the door shut on his way out and then change the locks!

[Jacob007]

12:15 PM on 03/03/2011

Don't sign anything thing without a lawyer present (Men)

[lunayena]

11:46 AM on 03/03/2011

Excellent advice...and right on every step! Thank you!