As a Story Consultant, I am always on the search for words that add great meaning and emotional depth to the life experience. I came across two words that reflect this idea in the book I am reading, Zen Heart written by Ezra Bayda, "Being Kindness." Ezra writes,
We think that we need approval. We think that we need to be loved. But, as usual, we have it backward. As we mature spiritually, we discover that we don't need to be loved -- the real need, if you want to call it that, is to love. To love, or to live from Being Kindness, means that we're living from our natural being -- from the Zen Heart. But to learn to live from our natural kindness, we usually have to work with what gets in the way, which, in large part, is our deep seated and pervasive need for approval.
These words had such a profound affect on me as I'm going through the rush of the holidays. If we operate from this place, it opens up a world of possibility and allows us to experience things on a much more positive level.
Recently, I saw the true affect of kindness. I am the Writing Instructor for NBC's Writers on the Verge. This is a diversity program structured to prepare the finalists for the experience of being staffed as a television writer. For our last class, I wanted to leave them each with a positive thought. So, I went around the room and had everyone go around the room and for each person, finish the sentence, "The one thing I love about you is..." It was a way to get them to express themselves in an open forum but also to tell each other what their thoughts were. It was a truly amazing experience. To see their faces light up with hearing nothing but positive reinforcement is a moment that I will never forget.
Another great tip mentioned in Zen Heart is to keep in mind for the holidays the "Three Breaths Practice." Ezra writes,
The Three Breaths Practice involves injecting a conscious pause in the middle of our usual state of waking sleep, a pause that lasts for the duration of three full breaths. Here's how it works, whenever you "come to" for a moment, you make the conscious intention to stay there for at least three full breaths. You don't necessarily focus on the breath itself, but bring awareness to your entire experience in the moment, whatever it may be.
What if we went into the holidays and the New Year with "conscious intention" in everything we do. Whether it's a meal with our family, a get together with friends, a party or even a business meeting. If we consciously think about what our intention is for the get together and how we would like to make the other person or persons feel, the results could be a lot more fulfilling. The key to your success with this are my favorite two words of the season, "Being Kindness."