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How Dumb Must You Be to Watch Honey Boo Boo?

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A few months ago I wrote about Toddlers & Tiaras and now I am back again on this topic.

There is a new TLC hit show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. WTF, TLC? Just when I thought TLC couldn't sink any lower, they have shown us that they can. In case you haven't heard of this show, let me enlighten you. Basically, TLC created the horrible Toddlers & Tiaras and opened the world's eyes to the train wreck that is children's beauty pageants. TLC was lucky enough to have a break out star, Honey Boo Boo, whose whole claim to fame is that her whole family look like extras from Deliverance. On T&T Honey Boo Boo was a tyrant who swilled her Go Go Juice (some high energy concoction) right before she hit the stage so she could wow the judges with her moves and her spray tanned belly. The language that they speak (I've been told that it's English) is so garbled and fucked up they need subtitles just so you can understand when Honey Boo Boo's pregnant sister tells the world she needs to go to the hospital because her "biscuit" hurts or Honey Boo Boo tells you "A dollar makes me holler." It sounds like something a stripper would say. After realizing the Hillbilly Gold they had, TLC offered Honey Boo Boo and her family a reality show. The show beat the Republican National Convention in the ratings and it is assumed it will also beat the Democratic National Convention. I realize it's a lot to ask, but just once every four years couldn't we stop watching the shit on TLC and watch the shit at the national conventions? I realize it would be a lot more fun if Mitt Romney said, "A dollar ain't worth a holler -- make it two and I'll think about it" or if Barack Obama said, "I want to protect women's biscuit rights." One of Honey Boo Boo's one liners could make the perfect election slogan for either party: "When you're a champion, you're still a winner."

The only positive thing I can say about this show is that I read yesterday the family is making around $10,000 an episode. I just hope they're putting that money in a college fund for their girls. Who are we kidding? It's going straight to wigs, Mountain Dew, chicken nuggets and spray tans.

If you waste your time on this show, please tell me: Why??

Follow Jen on Twitter @throat_punch.